[AdoptChina]

A friend of mine posted on another board that her toddler doesn't seem to be responding to time outs.....so I posted about how I handle my toddler....and of course someone immediately responded about how she uses the "naughty mat" from Super Nanny and she spanks her daughter and they work great...then another person posted about how time outs work great for all involved (even though she had to do 3--5 of them this morning to get her DS to cooperate) and that taking a quiet break in a different environment naturally changes the behavior (b/c it worked with the kids she used to teach).....I'd like to respond to this further but don't want to start a big fight, just get my point across....any advice on what to say?

I believe in not just dealing with the inappropriate behaviors but addressing the motivation behind them, kwim?

 

[Dal]

It's great that you are patient and kind enough to want to help them! I'd start with the last line of your above post and just kindly state what you do and why. Good luck!!!

 

[Pealette]

I just finished a book that was highly recommened here on GD, it was pretty mind blowing for me!
Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn
It totally addresses the issues you mention. I liked it because he gives a lot of research to support why time-outs and other controlling discipline are so unhelpful. Especially if one looks at the long-term effects of what kind of person is created.

A definite must have

 

[quaz]

Got me. I had people flip out once when I dared to mention that most experts state that generally at 15m a child is too young for time outs.

In my case, I was simply providing information so that people that weren't aware of that fact, were informed.

I think people will make of your post whatever they want to make of it, no matter how friendly you make it.

Tammy