[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I have spent 4+ years now working toward getting the message out there about circ and why it is such a horrific practice but I have to wonder if I am really making a difference. If I cant get through to my own family it makes me feel like I am

trying to get through to others.

I am just tired of it all.

 

[Sol_y_Paz]

I understand being tired.

 

[njeb]

Sometimes it is easier to get through to strangers than to your own family. I don't know why that is, but it happened to me when I was a LLL leader. I could convince strangers to breastfeed much more easily than friends and family.
If you need to take a break, do so. It helps keep things in perspective.

 

[Frootloop]

I'm right there with you even though I've been at it way less time than you have.

But, I refuse to give up.. I know too much now. I do have to admit, though, that sometimes I wish I didn't know all that I know.

It's most definitely not easy feeling like you're screaming at the top of your lungs and feeling like no one is listening to you.. but, people ARE listening! Why else would people have to be pushing as hard for circ as they are having to lately? More and more parents are choosing not to circumcise. It's not going to stop there. Those intact boys are going to grow up with their whole penises.. then they are likely going to be raising some intact sons as well.

We're getting there.. slowly, but surely. We may not be able to save them all from this, but through the knowledge we all pass on to others, we ARE saving way more boys than in the past. Think about that

 

[tutucrazy]

I'm in the same boat. My brother is having a boy. I understand completely. (hugs)

 

[PuppyFluffer]

You know I understand!
Having gone to the demonstration in Washington DC for the past three years, I can see so clearly where the message gest through. It's the youth. They really really get it. Teens are interested in all things sexual, so the sexual impact of circ is what really gets their attention. Once you have their attention, you can also talk to them about the rights of the child, the sale of infant foreskins, bodily integrity etc. They really get the message.

Part of me almost wants to just throw in the towel on the women having babies now and get to the youth, where the message is really received well.

 

[hakunangovi]

I applaud your efforts and those of everyone here who are trying to put an end to this horrific custom. Maybe you need a rest away from it for a little while, but I hope you do not give up.
It is very frustrating when dealing with your own family and they refuse to see the facts and logic. Even though DW was o.k. with not circumcising DS when he was born, she still views RIC as a parents choice, and the procedure itself as "no big deal". This is a woman with two intact brothers and three circ'd half brothers.. We can't even discuss the subject at all without getting into a big fight any more. I am SO disappointed in her attitude, and somewhat resentfull as well, given that I hate the fact that I was circ'd, and all she can say about it is "Get over it".

 

[PuppyFluffer]

hunkunangovi, I hear you on your anger at being circ'd and I will totally validate that feeling for you. I think you are fully entitled to be angry over it. You are a victim of this. It's hard to get some to unerstand it. It's about having dominion over your own body.
Have you asked DW what parts of her genitals she would be willing to give up? What about having her think about what part of her genitals she would want to have had taken from her without her consent?

I am reading a book by Hanny Lightfoot Klein right now called Children's Genitals Under The Knife. It's a really eye opening book. The US did female circ and until 1976, Blue Cross had a medical code for clitoridectomy! I suggest this book to anyone interested in the topic of protecting children's bodies.

 

[Pumpkinheadmommy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by PuppyFluffer It's about having dominion over your own body. Have you asked DW what parts of her genitals she would be willing to give up? What about having her think about what part of her genitals she would want to have had taken from her without her consent?

This is such a tough one because I always feel that women should understand this too. I've even seen circumcised guys reply to the women who think men should "get over it" by saying "that's easy for you to say . . . you're not the one who lost part of your genitals." But then there are always circumcised men who think they are fine. I understand that these particular men are in denial, but they become part of the problem. Much the same way that many of the perpetrators of fgm are themselves, women who have been victims of fgm. I guess my point is - it gets complicated.

 

[PuppyFluffer]

It gets complicated indeed. I am really wanting to get deeper into the psychological aspects of the issue of circ to gain a better understanding. It's hard to read with children so young and homeschooling but I am working on it, one book at a time.

 

[ErinsJuneBug]

argh families!!

My dad and mom always joke about getting me a shirt that says "Save the foreskins."

Yeah, real funny guys....

 

[hakunangovi]

PuppyFluffer, thank you for your kind words. Not too long ago we were having an argument over this and I asked "How would you feel if someone had whacked off part of your genitalia?" The reply was shouted at me: "It's not the same"....followed by a list of all that is lost with the most violent type of FGM. I thought about pointing out that this was a worst case, but it was pointless. Never did get an answer!!

 

[Fyrestorm]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ErinsJuneBug argh families!! My dad and mom always joke about getting me a shirt that says "Save the foreskins." Yeah, real funny guys....

I think someone around here had a Yoda shirt that says "May the Foreskin be with you"

 

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Thank you all for taking the time to read and offer support. I think I do need a bit of a break again. It is just so hard to stay away

 

[tutucrazy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X Thank you all for taking the time to read and offer support. I think I do need a bit of a break again. It is just so hard to stay away

I know what you mean but breaks can be great for re-energizing. Everyone needs breaks.

 

[mysticmomma]

You make such a difference on this board and I'm sure the effects are more far reaching than you know.

 

[hakunangovi]

MCat... Just remember that you have probably influenced thousands of lurkers, and you will never know how much good you have done. I totaly feel your frustration when dealing with people who are close to you, but I try to ignore the battles that I can't win (at least for a while) and reach out to all those others who may be (and invariably are) more receptive. It is so uplifting to succeed in convincing a prospective parent not to harm their precious son. We are like a big family here - all bitten by the same cause!!
Take care of yourself and remember - You ARE making a difference.

 

[PuppyFluffer]

hakunangovi, sorry about the full pm box. email me thru mdc, I'll get it.

I need to clear some stuff and have had sick kids, so have not gotten to it yet.

 

[phatchristy]

I think I'm the person who introduced you to this place long ago (hope I'm remembering right) I think a lot of this has a branching out aspect...even if you reach only 10% of the people that you communicate with remember many of them will reach out to others as well...

Plus, no doubt as we have a new generation of boys who are intact out there we will see a difference as well. Maybe I'm optomistic, but there is NO DOUBT that the information is getting out there. No wonder all the pro-circers are out on the attack. They're still trying to hold onto those in our culture who lack knowledge about circumcision and carry the bias created here in the US in the last 75 years or so...

 

[Quirky]

It's OK to take a break. I've suffered from burn out myself and there's only so much I can do.....I think for me, taking time to focus on myself and my family and friends gives me renewed energy and the ability to direct that energy in positive ways. When I'm feeling happier inside it's easier for me to talk to people in a friendly, happy, persuasive way.

And I do agree that it's much, much easier to talk to strangers rather than family or sometimes friends. All of my nephews are circed, and I don't know if you remember the horrible, awful thing that my sister and BIL did b/c of the circ issue.....it took me several years to be able to speak to them again and I know our relationships will never be the same again.

One of the reasons I hate circumcision so much is that it just warps people and our society.