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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
DD: *whine whine whine*

Me: DD Could you please use your words so I can find out what is bothering you and try to fix it?

DD: "NO! I dont WANT to use my words" *more whining than a village in France*

Me; DD if you wont tell me whats wrong in words I can't try to make it better. Do you have to go poop? (DD: NO!) Pee (DD: NO!) Are you tired? (DD: NO!)

DD: Melts down.

Me: (tries to hug)

DD: *smacks me away* I don't want you mommy!

Me: *Stifling ire and anger* Well how bout you go in your room to think about what is bothering you and then you can come and tell me.

DD: *sniffle* NO!!!!!!!!! as she runs to her room and slams the door and has major freakmeltdown

Me: Shakes head and continues on reading as she obviously needs this time to melt.

DD: *opens door* I need Daddy

Me: Daddy is working right now, he wont be home until you are sleeping (DH is working nights)

DD: *Another meltdown*

Me: Do you need a hug?

DD: Yes..but from DADDY NOT YOU!!! more melting

Me: You're sad because daddy cant be home to tuck you in and that's ok...

DD: *more shrieking and pounding and kicking*

Me: Here since Daddy isn't here to do your routine, and you're tired, how bout we just put the pullup on and you can go to bed now, and the sooner you get to sleep the sooner you get to see Daddy.

DD: *sniffle* Ok...I'm sad, I miss daddy

me: I know you do. It's ok to be sad.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by perl
You handled that beautifully, mama - I am impressed!
Sure as heck saved my sanity. If I had to go through anymore shrieking whining meltdown in that 90 minute period, I woulda lost it...

DH came home a little early, and I told him what went on. He went upstairs to go to the bathroom and DD, not quite asleep heard him, he went in and gave her a hug and explained that some days daddy works at nights, and some days daddy works during the day. And that he loves her and misses her very much.

She's used to him working during the day, this night shift thing has her thrown for a loop. She's used to dinner as a family, and then one night mommy bathing/reading/rocking her to sleep, then the next night Daddy doing those things...

It's a real topsy turvy time for her. Adjusting to a big move, new house, new friends, It's just hard on everyone, especially her. She still doesn't grasp the new baby is gonna be coming soon, it's not a reality for her yet. I hope that she's settled in by the time the baby arrives in Dec.
 

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We are having very similar issues with dd (though not related to daddy working), she just WHINES, and the more i try to get her to speak clearly, the more incoherent she gets.
I generally handle it in a similar way to how you did. It seems to be working.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
DD is almost irrationally attached to DH. I think it's a *good* thing but sometimes the utter rejection of *me* in favour of him kinda stings.

DH's like "meh she's a daddy's girl"

I think it's more than that. She knows I've "ALWAYS" been there, never just left. Whereas she never really had a father figure until DH entered the picture. Took her a while to acctually bond, but she did, and it's really strong.

Do you think the anxiety she gets when his schedule goes all messed up raises that subliminal anxiety of "I'm not gonna have a daddy again" Which is even more keen in her?

Do you really think the fact that I left the Bio-Idiot and had no real male role model in her life till she was about 18 months old REALLY scarred her that badly???
 
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