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Hello...just wondering if anyone can point me in a direction to finding "creative" ways to somehow stay home (at least a majority of the time) with my baby (I'm due in April) and still be able to pay my rent and bills. I don't have anything extravagent going on here...just rent, electricity, food and phone (I don't even have internet at home or cable TV) but I am concerned I am going to be forced to dump my kid at daycare everyday and let someone else raise it and I do not want to do that. I currently don't qualify for any kind of financial aid because my income is considered to high <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: but I don't want to work 45-50 hours a week and be away from my baby...What have some of you done to overcome this?<br><br>
Ally
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>PixieAlly</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8988857"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Hello...just wondering if anyone can point me in a direction to finding "creative" ways to somehow stay home (at least a majority of the time) with my baby (I'm due in April) and still be able to pay my rent and bills. I don't have anything extravagent going on here...just rent, electricity, food and phone (I don't even have internet at home or cable TV) but I am concerned <b>I am going to be forced to dump my kid at daycare everyday and let someone else raise it and I do not want to do that.</b> I currently don't qualify for any kind of financial aid because my income is considered to high <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: but I don't want to work 45-50 hours a week and be away from my baby...What have some of you done to overcome this?<br><br>
Ally</div>
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You are going to offend many mommas by referring to taking a child to dc as "dumping" and by saying that by a child who goes to daycare is being raised by someone else. Its offensive and not accurate, maybe because you don't have a child yet you just don't know.<br><br>
As far as working from home it depends on what you do...is it something that you could do from home?<br><br>
I decided to stay home with my ds until he was 18 months old, thats as long as I could swing it. I did it by doing freelance work for one organization and taking my son with me when I had to go to meetings or into the office. I worked when he napped and at night. Even if you did qualify for assistance I don't think it would be enough to live off of completely, but other mommas might know better than me.<br><br>
You might <i>have</i> to go back to work, I would have hated taking my little baby to dc too, but I don't think less of mommas who do and I would have done it if I had to. You should start looking for care in case you have to take your baby to dc. I would also suggest getting insight from the Working/Student Mommas Forum - they'll be able to set you straight on who is raising their children.<br><br>
ETA- I would like to say a lot more but I have to make dinner.
 

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Uh, yeah. My DS goes to daycare, but he is most certainly not "dumped" there, and the staff, excellent as they are, are not raising him.<br><br>
There are two questions you should be asking yourself:<br>
1. What are your resources?<br>
2. What are your needs?<br><br>
Answer both questions as completely as you can. Don't scratch things off the list because you aren't sure you can get them (just note that they're potentials and need looking at), or because you think you'll just have to get by without. Figure out everything you have: money, skills, connections, local, state and national assistance programs, memberships in churches, alumni associations, car clubs, community groups of any kind... everything. And then do the same for what you need. Having a clear picture of these two things will help you figure out what your next steps should be.<br><br>
Our pediatrician has been really big on pointing us at assistance programs we might find useful, and my OB was pretty good about that kind of thing too. Have you made a first appointment with a midwife or OB yet? I don't know how you feel about birth options, but I would make this appointment (doesn't matter whether you go with midwife or doc) so that I could ask about assistance programs, benefits, health care, etc. You can always switch providers later if you don't like the person you have an initial appointment with - think of the first appointment as an opportunity to get hooked into a network for services (including, but not limited to, health care).
 

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Can you take in another baby or a couple opf older kids at your home to take care of? That is what I am doing in addition to a one day a week job where I can bring my son. I totally understand not wanting to use daycare. I am not against it, and as long as it is safe, nurturing, and affordable, it can help a lot of mamas make things work, I just couldn't bear being away from him all day.<br><br>
I wasn't sure what I was going to do when I quit my old job and began living on savings, but I put the word out that I was a single mama looking for work with my baby and it all eventually worked out. In fact, I just agreed to watch another baby on the days that I had off from the first baby today. That means that I will be doing childcare 5 days a week, and working retail one day a week for a total of 6 full days a week of work, but it also means I can be with DS 100% of the time, which is what matters in the end for me.<br><br>
Good luck, and do a lot of looking and hopefully something will work out.
 

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I would never put my children in daycare. My son can't attend daycare anyways so it's not a choice but even if it were I didn't give birth to children to have them be with some other mother for 8 hrs a day. So I won't be one to gang up on you for your wording- I have kids and I agree with it.<br>
Ideas-<br>
*Childcare is probably the most common one and the one I do when I get time. I usually do inhome(my home) night time care.<br>
* I know some single moms who clean houses on the weekends. That would greatly cut down the time spent at work if it were weekends and also might free up friends or family to watch the kiddos for you( for free or probably cheaper than daycare)<br>
*Some moms have crafty businesses. I make occassional money selling diaper cakes. I'm sure if I had the money to advertise I could do well with it.<br>
*Online Jobs? I'm sure there are some out there.....
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>JewishMamaof2</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8990262"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I would never put my children in daycare. My son can't attend daycare anyways so it's not a choice but even if it were I didn't give birth to children to have them be with some other mother for 8 hrs a day. So I won't be one to gang up on you for your wording- I have kids and I agree with it.<br>
Ideas-<br>
*Childcare is probably the most common one and the one I do when I get time. I usually do inhome(my home) night time care.<br>
* I know some single moms who clean houses on the weekends. That would greatly cut down the time spent at work if it were weekends and also might free up friends or family to watch the kiddos for you( for free or probably cheaper than daycare)<br>
*Some moms have crafty businesses. I make occassional money selling diaper cakes. I'm sure if I had the money to advertise I could do well with it.<br>
*Online Jobs? I'm sure there are some out there.....</div>
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FYI - Some Mommas have no choice but to have their children in someone else's care at least some of the time. It doesn't make them "less than" you are. The OP might <i>have</i> to go to work outside the home at some point. Not everyone can survive on occasional WAH cash and assistance, especially when there is no cs coming in.<br><br>
Let's not turn this into a SAHM vs WAHM fight -even though the OP started with fighting words, I don't think she really meant to.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>cycle</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8990364"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">FYI - Some Mommas have no choice but to have their children in someone else's care at least some of the time. It doesn't make them "less than" you are. The OP might <i>have</i> to go to work outside the home at some point. Not everyone can survive on occasional WAH cash and assistance, especially when there is no cs coming in.</div>
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Thank you.<br><br>
To the OP, if staying home is the only option you're considering than I second the cleaning, childcare in your home, and small crafty WAH suggestions. A combination of the three maybe? Do you sew? - diapers, softies, clothing, slings, special blankets out of treasured clothing/mementos...
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>JewishMamaof2</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8990262"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I would never put my children in daycare. My son can't attend daycare anyways so it's not a choice but even if it were I didn't give birth to children to have them be with some other mother for 8 hrs a day.[/B] So I won't be one to gang up on you for your wording-I have kids and I agree with it.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
This sort of attitude and judgement of other women, particularly mothers, is what keeps women down in this society. We are our own worst enemies. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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I can see both sides of this thread, and it is a hard one to talk about for a lot of people. It is ironic when people could never put their child in daycare but they can take in other children to care for. I am one of those people myself, and I realize just how ironic it is.<br><br>
I think that ultimately, we are all trying to do what we feel is best for our child/ren, and we on this board are all in the same frightening boat of parenting without a partner in our homes. We hold onto our children, and don't want to let them go so that we can protect them. Now, whether that protection is leaving them in the competent care of another adult while we go out and work to have money to live and give them the best life possible, or whether we stay with them and struggle to find a solution that works so we can afford to stay with out babies 100% of them time, is up to each mama and her individual living situation.<br><br>
I know that staying with my son was very important to me, but I was realistic, and realized that it might not work. I got lucky and found work that I could do that will support us, but I did understand that it also potentially could fail. I persisted in the direction that I wanted to go in, and got lucky.<br><br>
I think we should support each others decisions rather than attack each other and maybe we can all figure out ways to take care of our bubs that make each of our small families happy, safe and healthy.<br><br>
I guess what it all boils down to is the fact that we need to play nice and share ideas, rather than attack and use inflammatory language. I can see where the OP is coming from a place of great fear and the harsh language shows that. It is easy to take things personally on this board in particular, as we as single mamas are just doing our best to scrape along. I completely understand the fear that she must be feeling right now, as I was there just one short year ago myself. I said some pretty horrible things and was constantly second guessing myself and my decisions. I couldn't see a way out and had no idea how I would cope. I took things day by day, which is ultimately, all that any of us can do, and eventually it all worked out for the best, and my son is thriving.<br><br>
I hope that we can all help each other come up with solutions and not attack each other, as I for one find this board such a source of support. It is so incredible to know that there are so many other strong mamas out there in situations similar to my own.<br><br>
Just my two cents.
 

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What se said!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nod.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nod"> Seriously, I like your post Pumpkin_Pie and I agree.<br><br>
I used to say "I will NEVER put my children in daycare!" Well, some day i might have to...
 

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I have managed to work part time and support us for a few years. When I was first seperated/divorced my Mom watched Alex while I worked 3-4 hours a day as a paralegal. I was also able to take some work home and log more hours after he was asleep.<br><br>
I'm now a real estate agent and my son goes to preschool a few hours each morning, then we are home together in the afternoons. Sometimes he has to come out and work with me, but we actually enjoy that time together.<br><br>
Now he's going on 5 and as my real estate business grows there are days I'm having to leave him in preschool longer hours than I'd like. I used to be one that said I'd never do daycare, but I'm realizing esp at his age, it's not the end of the world.
 

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I was able to be on maternity leave for the first year of ds's life, but I know that's not common in the US. After his birthday, he started at daycare 4days/week while I go to school. I do it all online so it's very flexible - I can pick him up early if I work extra hard, or take a day off just to play, etc.<br><br>
I also once said I would never put my kid in daycare. But when he actually started, it was like our entire relationship changed for the better. He started napping easier, eating more table foods, talking more, acting happier, etc. This is not to say that being a SAHM is bad, but <i>for us</i> daycare was extremely beneficial.
 

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good luck, I think that it is easiest to have the best life if you have a semi-open mind. There are advantages and disadvantages to working and staying home, working less than full time is something a lot of moms do as a compromise. I have to say that If I needed to work full time to put food on the table I would have no hesitation. I've met some foreign moms in the us that had to actually leave their children for longer than 8 hours as in months at a time to work and send money back home to a completely different country.
 
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