Mothering Forum banner
1 - 8 of 8 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,936 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
M and I have been separated for over two years now. Because of financial situations, and the worry about "control" over the kids (I hate putting it like that, I hope you know what I mean...) I haven't filed for anything legally. He's been paying what the state has said he will have to pay in childcare when we do divorce. Needless to say, I'm hurting financially. I'm doing some babysitting, errand running for the elderly, and I have a rental income, but it just doesn't pay the bills. Right now I'm two months behind on the mortgage (with month number three coming due next week) and two months behind on the car payment. The gas bill is huge, and we've already cut out all the extras. The only way I have internet now is because a friend got a free dial-up disk with her business service through Verizon.

Anyway - I need help. I need lots of help. BUT since we aren't divorced, his income still counts as part of my household income. Shouldn't there be some kind of way that he can write a letter stating that we are no longer together, and that he pays me $X a month in child support, have it notarized - - - something so that I can get some help with utilities, etc.?!

Has anyone else run into this? Any thoughts? Any advice? Anyone have an extra couple Ks laying around that they aren't using?!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12,040 Posts
I am in a similar situation. STBX owns his own business and makes TONS of money and we are not yet legally divorced. I recently applied for assistance and was told I would have to comply with child support and open a case with them. So I did. Most states will go after the father's money before giving you their money. The way they put it to me was "we have limited funding so we try to help those who really need help and have no one else to turn to" I'm not sure if all states are the same, but it is worth applying for.

FYI we're in FL.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12,040 Posts
Also, I am not eligible for food stamps because I own my own (3 yrs old) car. They told me I should sell my car and use some of that money. Now I own my own home and I'm just waiting for them to tell me to take out a home equity loan
:

I kind of see where they are coming from, then again I don't.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,361 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jilian
Also, I am not eligible for food stamps because I own my own (3 yrs old) car. They told me I should sell my car and use some of that money. Now I own my own home and I'm just waiting for them to tell me to take out a home equity loan
:

I kind of see where they are coming from, then again I don't.
oh my gosh. i can't believe they would tell you that. can you imagine taking an equity loan to pay for food? paying interest on food?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,925 Posts
Hmmm...I'm in FL and get food stamps and own a car, but it's 4 yrs old...Perhaps it's the value of the car? I think there's an asset limit of perhaps $10,000, mine is less than that ($7-8, who knows?)

I got assistance when I was separated but not divorced (and not even legally separated) and even living with my parents. You should only write about people in your HOUSEHOLD, which means the people living in your house that pay bills with you. I had to list my mom and sister, but since we kept our money separate and they never gave me any money, I didn't have to list any of their income/assets. In terms of rent, I did help mom out occasionally, and she just wrote a letter saying "My daughter lives with me and pays x. and no utilities." That worked fine!

Hope you have some luck...but I'm thinking that with a house you have too much in terms of assets. Sometimes there are other places you can go, I would call 211 and ask for emergency rent/mortgage assistance and heating assistance. Sometimes there are church groups and such that help out. But when you get "assistance" you don't get cash to just pay bills, they got rid of that with good ol' slick willy's End Welfare As We Know It BS. All I get is foodstamps, which helps, but might not be what you really need if you are so far behind on cash things. HTHs!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,860 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jilian
I recently applied for assistance and was told I would have to comply with child support and open a case with them. So I did.
I'm in CA, and it's the same here.

I applied for Medicaid for me and DD earlier this year. DD got it automatically, but for me I need to go through child support services, and be 'in cooperation' with them to even be considered for just Medicaid.

The ex lives in NJ, with no money, no job, and no intention of getting one either.. So, I'll cooperate all they want, doesn't mean anything..lol

For you though, they will most likely just open a case, and since he's paying you support anyway, they'll make it formal and you'll be 'cooperating' with child support services.

Good luck!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
962 Posts
Is he living with you??
If not, then his income does NOT count as part of your household income. I'm in PA as well.
Even if he does live in the same house, if he keep his bills separate from you (buys his own food, etc) then it wouldn't count.
You can apply for financial assistance without anything from him if he isn't sharing a household with you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,603 Posts
In CA a house counts as an asset & is therefore considered income. That's why I can't get Food Stamps, financial assitance, etc. So very frustrating! And they insist on counting STBX income even thoguh we are seperated b/c we haven't filed the legal seperation or dissolution papers. We live seperately, seperate bills, etc but his income still counts towards mine.
 
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top