[meandmine]

If you own a single-family house, how do you find the time to do all the maintenance required?

My stbx is moving out. For at least the next year my girls and I will stay put. I would like to stay put, for the girls' sake indefinitely (good neighbors, good school within walking distance, community pool next door, and the girls have lots of friends). I can probably afford the mortgage once I return to work.

It is the maintenance costs and general maintenance work that intimidate me.

How do you find time to a) mow the lawn b) weed the non-lawn areas c) trim the bushes d) blow the leaves e) clean the inside f) do the laundry g) fix things that need fixing inside, etc?

How do you afford to pay someone to a) clean the gutters c) fix major problems (leaking pipe, broken microwave, etc.) or other bigger maintenance tasks.

I just don't see how I can do myself or afford to pay someone else to do it all and still have any time or energy for my kids and self.

Please share your experiences/ideas!

Thanks!

M

PS I have looked at the very few townhouses in our school pyramid and some smaller houses with smaller yards, but the price difference isn't enough to justify the move. I wish there were more townhouses ...

 

[MsChatsAlot]

It was more difficult when the kids were younger and thankfully, I had a kind neighbor who used to help out sometimes with the lawn, especially in the first year when I had a 3 month old and a toddler.

As they got bigger, I set them up nearby and did the work while they played. And now, since they are older, they do some of the work to help me out and I can go do whatever I need to do while they do their own thing.

As for affording to pay for things, I have had few repairs (knock on wood) but I did have some savings that I've used for things like that.

 

[macheetah]

These things have always bothered me too, but I've found ways to deal with it, having owned both my houses from the time my daughter was born and both have/had yards and the first was old and had numerous "issues" with plumbing, air conditioner, etc.

Besides cultivating good relationships with local trades professionals and switching them until I found ones who were honest and dependable, I asked friends and neighbors about their teenage sons who mowed lawns, cleaned gutters and other assorted homeowner need things for a fraction of professionals' cost. I also was fortunate enough to find one who was "apprenticed" to a plumber, and that saved me a lot of money and time. His plumbing work wasn't necessarily pretty, but it was functional.

Lawn maintenance I do myself, when I can't pay for it. Hoem Dept and Lowes, similar stores, have those books - big how-to-fix-it-yourself tomes and they are a good investment, I've spent many a time poring over them and figuring out how to fix a toilet, an air conditioner, a leak, etc. without having to call someone.

 

[mellonmellow]

Quote:

Originally Posted by macheetah These things have always bothered me too, but I've found ways to deal with it, having owned both my houses from the time my daughter was born and both have/had yards and the first was old and had numerous "issues" with plumbing, air conditioner, etc. Besides cultivating good relationships with local trades professionals and switching them until I found ones who were honest and dependable, I asked friends and neighbors about their teenage sons who mowed lawns, cleaned gutters and other assorted homeowner need things for a fraction of professionals' cost. I also was fortunate enough to find one who was "apprenticed" to a plumber, and that saved me a lot of money and time. His plumbing work wasn't necessarily pretty, but it was functional. Lawn maintenance I do myself, when I can't pay for it. Hoem Dept and Lowes, similar stores, have those books - big how-to-fix-it-yourself tomes and they are a good investment, I've spent many a time poring over them and figuring out how to fix a toilet, an air conditioner, a leak, etc. without having to call someone.

Great advice regarding the "teenage sons" part. This is where you can find the cheapest and most honest labor for your house maintenance. Do you have any kids living near you looking for some pocket money?

 

[ShadowMom]

Well, basically it takes way too much of my time and way too much of my money.

I love my house (not the marital property, a different one I bought). However, it is one big pain in the patootie.

I have a rather large yard so I have a riding mower, a push mower, and a weedeater for lawn maintenance. I have a bit of landscaping and it gets pretty much neglected.

As far as house repairs, I need to do quite a few of them and it costs way too much damn money and it's hard for me to hire someone, since I'm gone from the house all day at work. I mean, how many people do I really trust in my house alone? Not many. So basically those are just not getting done like they should. I don't have the money right now.

When I bought my house I swore I wouldn't let it get all run down like a lot of older single ladies seem to do (because they don't have the time and money to stay up on repairs). However, I seem to be about in the same boat right now.

My financial planner told me that buying a house is rarely a good financial decision. They are big money pits and it makes us feel good to deduct the taxes and interest and we tell ourselves it's a good decision. I thought he was crazy when he told me that but now I see his point.

The alternative is to rent an apartment - I hate apartments. I could rent a house, but I'm unlikely to find a house that has a large yard and has been well maintained. So if I move out of this house I will probably try to buy a house that's new or almost new, so at least it won't have these huge maintenance problems (hopefully).

 

[meandmine]

Thanks for sharing your experience, y'all.

It is going to be tough, methinks.

Our area is so affluent that teens do not do yard work or clean gutters ... oh nooooo; they have much better things to do with mom and dad's money and if they do work, they earn good money in other ways. The day of the teens who mow and rake has been gone around here for about 10-15 years, along with the paper boy ;-).

So, I think I will try to do it myself and see if I can. Doubt it; heck, I can't even get it done while I am still a sahm . Townhouse, here we come -- bummer -- it means moving the kids out of their school -- sigh.

GL to all you talented do-it-yourselfers!

M

 

[WhaleinGaloshes]

If you have a baby or toddler that is worrying you, have you considered an Ergo? I have been shocked at the things I can do with my 1.5 year old on my back. I don't know if I'd mow the lawn with anything other than a reel mower for safty, but she comes with me to move things, rake, clean, paint, do laundry, wash windows, etc.

It's no walk in the park, but you can do it. I try not to let any job get too big and out of hand except the things that I just can't find a way to do, and those have to wait until someone can help.

 

[Linda in OZ]

Im on 25 acres so my scenario is slightly different, but you learn to let some things fall by the wayside. you work out the important things and let the rest take care of themselves. If your babies are school age they are old enough to sweep the driveway and sort laundry, encourage them to help. Have you got family nearby? My parents are 3 hours away, but once every couple of months my father comes to stay for a couple of weeks and helps me spring clean my farm, and those jobs that can wait. I just write a list. I really get a sense of satisfaction knowing that the yard looks good because I mowed it or I rehung the bedroom door after the kids swung on it ya know. Hang in there

 

[mmace]

I'm very lucky - I have lots of help. My neighbor next door is a bachelor. He cuts my grass, I double my casseroles - we're both getting the help we need! I've learned to become very handy since my X left. I've drywalled, laid laminate flooring, and installed new lights. I've cleaned the gutters, fixed some shingles, and tilled my own garden. I've hung soffit and fascia, replaced a faucet, and installed a dishwasher. Honestly, I haven't found anything that he used to do that I can't learn to do. I might make mistakes and it always takes me at least twice as long, but I get it done. And I'm lucky that my dad is about a mile down the road, so if I do get stuck he can come, help me out, and then I'll be able to do it myself next time!

 

[cheyennemama]

I mow my lawn once a week. Hate it!

I barely ever weed the landscaping. It looks horrible but unfrtunately the time and motivation isn't there.

Trimming the bushes is easy and fun. Get a trimmer and go to town!

Raking leaves- I've adopted X's system. Mow over the leaves and bag it all. Works great!

Laundry I actually enjoy!

Things inside- sometimes I try to tackle it. Other times I've called in a plumber or whatever.

Gutters- there's small trees growing in mine! I need to get my ladder out and clean them myself. I have no money to pay anyone!

My friend's husbands have been helpful. I try to bother them as rarely as possible. One just helped me put in my HUGE A/C.

It's a struggle but I want to stay in my house.

 

[meandmine]

Wow!

Maybe I can be woman hear me roar like y'all!

Wow!

I will ask neighbors for rare help (like taking the blade off my mower so I can go take it to be sharpened). And friends maybe for a one time big effort (moving furniture after X vacates). Beyond that, either gonna have to pay (I won't risk my life cleaning the gutters; kids can't afford a mom in disability; not that I have disability insurance) or do it myself (gonna buy a bigger, better mower than the battery one my stbx uses).

Thanks again for stories of strength!

M

 

[incorrigible]

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[Purplehaze]

hi there,

I worry about this too... and confess I ma not there with you yet, but will be one day... but here are my ideas-

In an old house we had gutters that were always clogged. We decided that the back gotter really did not do much good- you would have to really, really consider this, but we removed it from the house and it seemed no harm done... there was gravel down below it so there was not that much "splash up". We kept it on the front of the house tho. Or if you are expecting any lump sums of money then going with those "gutter helmets" or "gutter guard" may be the way to go, I think... I am hoping to do that come tax time... some of mine are 3 stories up and I do not want to be on a ladder that high up! I have LOTS of big huge trees and so the gutters are full or stuff...

I have had good luck on Freecycle asking for recomendations to good, honest people for certain jobs- tree work, furnace guy... while on there you could ask for a reel type mower that would be safe to use around the kids.

One of my plans is to add a lot of pacasandra here- here it grows REALLY, really well and kind of takes over, so if you live in another part of the country and pacasandra does not do well- just consider another low, local ground cover that does... I have this whole area between the driveway and the woods where it has to be weed wacked, so I am planning to go to a friends, (who offered) dig some pacasandra and get it started, in a few years it will have taken over that whole area- which is what I want- one less place to mow and no weed wacking there... I had a single lady neighbor once, who had a VERY small yard and she did vinca and pacasandra for the WHOLE thing and she worked full time and had one DD, but she said it was great to not have to store a lawn mower, smell the gas from it in her garage, have to remember to do it or take the time... I have too much grass here for that to be feasable but I can really reduce the amount of grass I have with this idea...

Laundry I start first thing in the morning, last thing at night, witch it over and start again. when I have the time I hang the laundry in the morning, on the line. When I am home, and laundry is piled up I will often run a 2nd or 3rd load, trying to line dry when I can.

Leaves in the fall are a giant pain! Especially if you have a good sized yard and have lots of big trees.... I do. Last year we hired someone. It was $300, that was a lot of money but it was so nice to get it all done. I have to tell you I am surrpised at how fast these people who come in and do this stuff do it! My kids dad takes forever and a day to do anything. The man can't plan things out, and has a lot of trouble staying on task.... he starts and stops machines a million times (nerve wracking!) - the mower or what ever, has to pee, needs a drink, in and out and in and out of the house.... these guys I have hired- the leaf man and the pressure washer guy were both done in a day- half a day for the pressure washer guy and it was just one guy.... To pressure washt he old house my husband took like 2 full weekends. He always said the pros had better tools than he did and so that was why they did it so quick...but he has an extensive collection of very $$$$ tools... so I dunno. I think the pros just come in and get it done... sorry for the mini rant there.... but what I am trying to say is that you may find that some things, once you get the hang of them, take actually less time then you imagine they will.

Bushes.... Well I had these taken out, the ones that needed to be trimmed and "kept nice" by the house anyway. I think it looks better.... I plan to just plant some plants, the basement seems drier now too with getting sun light to the foundation.

You ask how you afford the emergencies.... if there is any way you can have/keep an emergency fund. Dave Ramsey rec's $1K.... I do not agree with him on everything but this $1K figure seems pretty reasonable. While it won't replace a complete furnace or if the tranny on the car goes, it is a good start. I know it can be hard to scrape up but just add to it little by little.

The other thing is network! Talk to people you know. I was surprised just recently to learn that a friends hunnby odes all kinds of handy man work and reasonably. I have learned that a mom friend LOVES to paint, and others would be willing to help... so I am considering doing a painting party soon. I need to do the living room and one bedroom (currently paneling- ugly paneling at that...) .

Hugs to you, you are stronger then you know

 

[Purplehaze]

your post is great! You are such a strong, brave mama!

I realize, especially in reading your posts, that I have a lot of fears... I fear "doing things wrong"... my dad was really controlling and a perfectionist so we all learned early to leave ALL this stuff to him, and not even try to help him, or if we did ti was awful drudgery, like me and my brother holding a string so dad could lime in perfectly straight rows....

: Not blaming my dad, but i can see I still hang onto the fear of "what if I don't get it right" like my whole house will wash away or soemthing,

LOL!

 

[incorrigible]

If you do things imperfectly, they will still be in better shape than if you did nothing.

 

[momazon4]

It is hard and I must admit, I don't always get things done. Ds can now mow grass and do basic maintenance like garden fence repair so that rocks. Kiddos help more with housework now, too.

My hotwater tank needed replaced for 3 months once and that was harsh but we made do. It is hard when things break down if you don't have immediate funds but I still loving having our OWN space.

Right now we are currently without an upstairs toilet and sink but it will happen ...eventually.

Dad is coming today to finish putting down a floor base in the basement so that is awesome!

 

[meandmine]

hi there,

I worry about this too... and confess I ma not there with you yet, but will be one day... but here are my ideas-

Great ideas!

We must live in the same area. Pacasandra is ALL over my backyard. Want some )?? I actually want to rip most of it out and plant hostas. Some pacy is nice -- all pacy is overwhelming

We have gutter screens because at our old house we found gutter covers were all hype and pouring water under our shingles and facscia (sp). Still the screens need to be cleaned off.

Neat that your freecycle lets you post service requests/recommendations. Ours absolutely forbids it -- OFFERS/WANTEDS only.

I do have a network of sorts through a variety of organizations, like babysitting coop and I plan to ask for recommendations there.

I am with you on the hiring the guys to blow the leaves! We have LOTS of trees and it is just too much for our family, even with my stbx around. And that's where I come full circle -- it all costs money, if I can't do it myself and I don't think I have the time, energy or talent to do it myself and I have high standards ...

I will just have to see. I will certainly give it a try because I think this is the best place for my girls.

Thanks,

M

 

[meandmine]

Quote:

Originally Posted by incorrigible The short version is "I don't" lol If you include the kids and make it a fun activity to do stuff together, they will learn to do things themselves and be able to help out later. That way you're not spreading yourself trying to take care of the house and family separately...

Right attitude! Makes me smile!

Thanks for sharing!

We certainly will make many of our "chores" family events.

M