[smeep]

DP is no longer DP. It's not worth going into the whole story right now but let's just say he treated me horribly and now I'm stuck on my own. He essentially kicked me out so now I'm staying with a friend. I have no job, no car. He says he'll help me financially (he did give me some money when he dropped off some of my stuff) but I can't rely on him to keep his word because he's hasn't stayed true to anything else he's said. This includes prenatal appointments...he actually called me the night before my last midwife appointment (which was Monday) and told me he wasn't going. So, I'm all on my own. Basically, I have to find a job and an apartment and furniture for an apartment and hope that I find a job that will cover maternity leave or that will at least pay me enough to save up so I can take a proper maternity leave (I had supply issues with DS and the regular double electric DID NOT work for me so I'll have to rent a hospital grade pump when I do go back). If I can't afford to take off any time I will be putting our health and nursing relationship at risk.

I know many of you have BTDT, so....help?! I need suggestions, stories, etc. I'm 19 weeks pregnant, and not expecting baby until at least the 20th of February, so I'm trying to do as much problem solving as possible right now so I won't be freaking out at the end of my pregnancy.

 

[la mamita]

once your baby is born you will probably qualify for family assistance (aka welfare). that's an option postnatally, probably your last shot, if you can't find a job that offers maternity leave and you want to have some time with your baby. also, you could go back to school and use some student loans to buffer your income (obviously this is only a short term solution as loans do have to be repaid!).

do you have family? friends? anyone who can put you up and help you out for a while?

 

[Minxie]

Craigslist and Freecycle for free furniture; people give away great stuff! Also for all manner of baby things.

See if your doctor can prescribe the hospital pump based on your previous problems; insurance might cover the rental fees.

coabode.org for housing; it's a website connecting single moms to house share.

Don't worry about spending money on baby stuff; you need your money for apartment deposits and rent. The baby can sleep anywhere.

 

[smeep]

Quote:

Originally Posted by la mamita once your baby is born you will probably qualify for family assistance (aka welfare). that's an option postnatally, probably your last shot, if you can't find a job that offers maternity leave and you want to have some time with your baby. also, you could go back to school and use some student loans to buffer your income (obviously this is only a short term solution as loans do have to be repaid!). do you have family? friends? anyone who can put you up and help you out for a while?

I will consider TANF if it comes down to it, but I'm not sure if I'll qualify. I haven't in the past...apparently my child support at the time of $160/mo was considered enough income. Crazies.

I'm currently staying with a friend but I can't continue to stay with her for too long (it's not fair to any of us and, honestly, I don't want to "wear out my welcome"), I need to find something ASAP. My family absolutely will not help...I'm not going to go into the details but, trust me, it's not going to happen.

 

[smeep]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Minxie Craigslist and Freecycle for free furniture; people give away great stuff! Also for all manner of baby things. See if your doctor can prescribe the hospital pump based on your previous problems; insurance might cover the rental fees. coabode.org for housing; it's a website connecting single moms to house share. Don't worry about spending money on baby stuff; you need your money for apartment deposits and rent. The baby can sleep anywhere.

The only baby stuff I'm worried about getting is cloth diapers. Everything else I either have or have friends that have it sitting around waiting for me (the clothes they have are girl clothes, but at this point if that's all I can get I'll take it even if I do have a boy! haha) or just really isn't important (from the get-go I've been turning down crib offers because DS's crib was just a giant laundry hamper/cat bed). I'll definitely talk to my midwife about prescribing a hospital grade pump and see if Medicaid will cover it. If not, I'll probably be able to survive off of the $40ish/mo rental it looks like I'd be paying.

And thanks for the coabode link. Someone else mentioned another house share web site as well. While house sharing is not my first preference, I'll definitely keep it in consideration if it comes down to it.

 

[singin'intherain]

Have you checked the housing authority where you live? I think section 8 is pretty much closed indefinitely in a lot of places, but your area might have decent "projects". We live in one, and it's actually very safe and nice.

 

[HappyMommy2]

WIC provides breast pumps, and food/milk for mamas and babies. Have you looked into that yet?

 

[smeep]

Section 8 is closed around here. I've got another number that will probably be a dead end but I'm calling them on Monday.

WIC won't cover a hospital grade pump unless DC is a preemie or is otherwise unable to nurse at the breast. She seriously didn't seem to believe me when I told her a regular double electric DID NOT work last time and that if the same thing happens this time and I can't get a hospital grade pump I WILL be forced to wean. Of course that's not an option and I'll rent one if I must. I will see if my midwife can prescribe one and see if Medicaid will cover it.

 

[provocativa]

whatever pump you get check the flange size. it really makes a difference in the amount of milk you get out. also look on craigslist in the rooms and shares section, and the sublets and childcare sections. here there was a newly single mom who wanted another single mom as a live-in babysitter. she sounded like a great mom. also some folks rent a room or a suite, and really don't care about kid noise. i made several of my cloth diapers out of used receiving blankets and such- they looked like crap but worked just as well as the ones i bought. look into the online guidelines for tanf before your appointment. workers make lots of mistakes.

 

[smeep]

Quote:

Originally Posted by provocativa whatever pump you get check the flange size. it really makes a difference in the amount of milk you get out. also look on craigslist in the rooms and shares section, and the sublets and childcare sections. here there was a newly single mom who wanted another single mom as a live-in babysitter. she sounded like a great mom. also some folks rent a room or a suite, and really don't care about kid noise. i made several of my cloth diapers out of used receiving blankets and such- they looked like crap but worked just as well as the ones i bought. look into the online guidelines for tanf before your appointment. workers make lots of mistakes.

I didn't know about the flange size, I'll have to look into that.

Thanks for the other tips. I did find out that the local housing authority should be opening up their list again in October so if they won't tell me exactly what day you BET I will be calling every single morning of October at 8am to see if it's open yet.