[Kittenface]

Hello. I am new to these forums. I am an educated, 31 year old woman. I work in a non-profit so I don't make a ton of money. I support my cat

: and myself comfortably. I have no partner and no partner on the horizon. I couldn't imagine meeting anybody to have a baby with right now. I have always been fascinated by the process of birth. Lately, I have this craving to have a baby. As a feminist, I realize I don't need a man to have a baby. I want to be a mother and nurture a child very badly.

I realize I won't be able to stay in Hipsterville Brooklyn when I have a child. I've been thinking about relocating to FL to be near my mother (an incredible woman and mother) so she can help me with childcare. I have very concrete ideas about how I want my children raised; I don't want them learning their values from anybody but me. I have also been thinking about persuing a masters so I can maximize my earning potential (that phrase makes me sound like a Republican

). I am worried about things like paying for private school. There are certain things I have to do: home birth, breastfeed, etc.

I had a flash today. Fuck it if I can't pay for Montessori school or a nanny. There are millions of single moms who raise happy, heatlhy children without that stuff. My main reasons for not having a child are material. Do those things really matter? This gets back to the economics of the "crunchy" lifestyle. As a single mom who works for non-profits fighting th good fight, I couldn't imagine being able to shop at Whole Foods or pay for baby yoga. Anyhoo, thats another story for another day.

I would love to hear feedback from single moms, esp. single moms by choice.

 

[mistymeltzer]

my dd father and I were dating when we got pregnant. he said I had to choose between him and the baby so I made the right choice and chose the baby! so I was single my whole pregnancy and I am still single. and I can honestly say that I am happier than I have ever been. we have very little money (we are on welfare and have food stamps and medical coupons), but we have everything we need. and people are constantly telling me what a happy baby I have. also, imo, the things that are really important to raising a happy healthy child are free (breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, etc.) one last thing: based on the amount of complaining my married/partnered mama friends do about their partners it seems like most partners are pretty much useless anyways.

 

[pranamama]

I'm not a single mom by choice but I do think you can find less expensive less mainstream ways to raise a child well. You could probably outfit your entire house in hand-me downs (babyproofing, nursery gear, baby clothes. childcare is the biggest expense (must have quality) I prefer public schools. I love libraries with their free high quality programs.

Good luck with everything, hope you get what you want

 

[schail]

Hey Kittenface. I am a 31 year old woman planning to be an SMC too. But this is not for another two or three years. You can meet other single mothers by choice online and join the National SMC and you can meet them too if you have a group near you. The website for the national groups is http://mattes.home.pipeline.com. You can join for, if I am not mistaken, $55 the first year and $35 for the renewal. They have many many forums too at yahoo like this one so you can talk to more like minded people who are going or have gone through what you are now and they can be your support group.

They have non-national online groups like these, which are like communites with real SMCs who used sperm donor and adopted.. I am on there from time to time, just to get more info and to understand what will be instore for me but I don't really contribute like I should and will more once I around to TTCing.
http://s4.invisionfree.com/SingleMomsByChoice/index.php
http://www.network54.com/Forum/245234/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/singlemombychoice/

Check these sites out. You will be glad you did. GOOD LUCK.