[missmarple]

Hello, all. This is my first post. I just joined. I am a single, 28-year old woman who is considering becoming a foster parent. I am financially, emotionally, physically and mentally stable, well-educated, accomplished and settled. I've worked with children of all ages my entire life (care-giver, coach, teacher, mentor, tutor, counselor). I would like to open my home to a child, under the age of 6 (or under the age of two, depending on if I move to a 1 or 2 bedroom apt this summer), as a place of temporary respite, care, love, safety and support. I am not currently looking to adopt.

There are those who would to discourage me from taking up this endeavor as single-parenting can be a major hindrance to the dating/courting/marriage process (Yes, I would eventually like to get married; I am not currently in a relationship). While I acknowledge that it definitely be a major shift, I also believe I have a great support system.

I would like to hear from anyone who give me insight on the realities of foster-parenting and especially anyone who has done single-foster parenting. What do you all think about my situation? If I were a close friend, daughter or cousin, what would your advice to me be?

Thank you in advance for your input.

 

[lauren]

First, welcome to Mothering! I hope you will get wonderful resources here. I've been around since 2001, and a parent since 1995 and I learn something new every day!

I have known many single parents that choose to become foster parents and I think the system is quite accepting of this now. I think a few things to think about are: is your home in such shape that you could do well on a visit to show you are ready for a child, usually by a foster care licenser? Your support system should probably be willing to learn a bit about abused and neglected or drug exposed children so that when they are providing you with support they are not misdirecting you. With foster children, some crazy (feeling) things can happen, both in terms of child behavior and in terms of the weird maze the court system can take you on. Many foster parents get most distressed by the ins and outs of the legal system and the reunification or termination of parental rights (TPR) process. It is definitely a situation where "love is not enough" to get you through. Today's foster parents have to be willing to learn a lot about trauma, brain development (and the impact of abuse,neglect on brain development), etc. to be effective. So much more is known now about the experience of abused and neglected children than in past generations. THe power of this is that foster parents can have a real influence on the healing process for children.

I think your plan is wonderful and I encourage you to educate yourself as much as you can about the specific needs of abused/neglected young children! THe Child Trauma Academy is a great place to start. http://childtraumaacademy.com/

 

[choosinghope365]

Hello, all. This is my first post. I just joined. I am a single, 28-year old woman who is considering becoming a foster parent. I am financially, emotionally, physically and mentally stable, well-educated, accomplished and settled. I've worked with children of all ages my entire life (care-giver, coach, teacher, mentor, tutor, counselor). I would like to open my home to a child, under the age of 6 (or under the age of two, depending on if I move to a 1 or 2 bedroom apt this summer), as a place of temporary respite, care, love, safety and support. I am not currently looking to adopt.

There are those who would to discourage me from taking up this endeavor as single-parenting can be a major hindrance to the dating/courting/marriage process (Yes, I would eventually like to get married; I am not currently in a relationship). While I acknowledge that it definitely be a major shift, I also believe I have a great support system.

I would like to hear from anyone who give me insight on the realities of foster-parenting and especially anyone who has done single-foster parenting. What do you all think about my situation? If I were a close friend, daughter or cousin, what would your advice to me be?

Thank you in advance for your input.

I don't really have insight yet, but I am a 27 year old single woman and I start MAPP classes next month. I'd like to follow this post and would love to walk this journey with you as we both learn! Feel free to PM me!

 

[Fostermother42]

This is my first time to this site as well and I have found it extremely helpful. No am a 42 year old single mom fostering for the 2nd time.. I was your age when I started fostering the first time.. A good support system from family and even friends was extremely helpful to me. I only fostered infants..from 28 to 32 I had about 5 kids to come in my home.. My last child I adopted and then I left the system and now I am back... It's an amazing experience that has great joy, great rewards and painful good byes... I have had children that have been exposed to every drug you can think of and I have watch them struggle through withdraws to come out as healthy playful kids to then go home with family.. This mission is not for the light hearted and it will not be all roses but there is a reward in seeing a child thrive and grow to know love because you gave that child it's first review of how love should be... I hope you will continue to move forward in your process.. It is truly rewarding.. I hope you will keep everyone aware of your journey in this post...