[yarnkitty15]

Hey Everyone, I know this sounds crazy...but I feel like I've been looking for somewhere to tell my story and maybe meet someone who is in a similar situation who might want to talk. I am a 27 year old professional female with my own successful graphic design business. I pretty much have everything together... or at least I was in the process of making big moves in life when I had a one night stand, long story short, I am now pregnant and I only know my baby's father's first name. I don't plan on searching for him as I don't want to make things crazier then they already are. Too many levels of complexity. I will admit sometimes I feel really lonely and there's days where it's hard to talk to certain people because I feel judged. I am sick of the shocked reactions but for all intents and purposes, I am going to have this baby and she will be loved and well taken care of by a mommy who has her own home business. Anyone else going through the same or something like it?

 

[farmermomma]

Keep on keeping on single mom! I was 28 when I broke it off with my baby's dad in the first trimester. He's 8 now and I'm single twice over with a 2 year old as well. We are doing quite well thank you. It breaks my heart when a woman says I'd be a single mom if it weren't for the finances. A great partner is great but anything less than that can be a real drag.

 

[Satori]

Welcome! Have you looked into the "Single Mothers by Choice" movement? There are lots of us and there's even a thread here for us. No one needs to know it was a one night stand, just tell them it was planned and you used a donor. Removes the shame and stigma instantly IME. Its also how you present it, if your acting ashamed and embarrassed they will judge you poorly. I'm 15 years into this and the only people who have ever given me crap are the religious fundie folks so I just avoid them when I can and yank their chain when I cant and they get judgey>. No one else cares I had my first at 24 and my 2nd at 30 as an SMC, I can't imagine it any other way although some days it would be nice to have that fantasy of partner who actually helps me with the kids.

 

[alpenglow]

It's a fantasy ha ha. Even the happily married moms I know aren't getting much help with the kids (with the exception of two lesbian couples I know). The less happily married ones just have an adult child on their hands... (sorry I am so sarcastic lately! I know there are some really great, helpful, involved dads out there). If I could do things over....I may have chosen to have a baby on my own, rather than marry and divorce a narcissist (another story...).

A child can have a wonderful upbringing without two parents. All the child needs is love and stable attachment. Let the judgey people be judgey - it's a reflection on them, not you

Welcome to MDC!

 

[EmilyVail42]

I was 27 yrs old when i had my first, but his dad wasnt interested a year later i had my 2nd again same man but same reaction. Just not interested. Its okay to be profesional, single and having a baby. Youll do fine.

 

[OverthinkingEverything]

I'm 27 and work from home. I might be able to be helpful. I wasn't technically a single mom until my dd was 17 months, but I was functioning as one since she was born

 

[littlebear3]

Happily married here but most of the time things are basically like raising a child on my own. Some dads are just more involved than others.

I just wanted to encourage you. I think its great that you have love for this baby and want to give her/him a wonderful life. Some people will always find something to judge about. Don't shame yourself though and if people ask, just say hes not in the picture. most senarios don't require detailed explanations and people usually don't pry when you are just overjoyous about the baby.