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my dd is about 17lb and 29" tall. doc said she looked healthy at her 1 year checkup 2 months ago..so why won't my mil leave me alone about my skinny toddler??? don't know what to do with this lady. she actually cried and said that dd looked malnurished!!! needless to say, i am so offended. i feel like she is looking at me nursing my 14mo dd and sees that she doesn't eat tons of food during meals and thinks that i'm starving her or something.<br>
anyway, wondering if anyone else is or has been in my shoes and how you dealt with it.<br>
thanks,<br>
kate
 

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Because your baby is a stringbean, that's why her granny is worried! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
Tell her why your doc was NOT worried. I'm guessing that your dd is gaining between appointments, growing taller, and that her head is growing the way it should. My baby is nice and plump, but our doc has twice (at 12 months and at 18 months) worried about his weight when he didn't gain between appts. That's what they are supposed to watch for! ( He caught up both times, btw. If you feed em' they will grow.)<br><br>
My grandmother couldn't believe that our plump baby was a subject for worry when he didn't gain--after all, he looked fine! That's why parents go to ped. appts., because we are in charge of feeding our babes and we need to know when to worry and when to relax.
 

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I have a friend whose 4 yo has always been a string bean. Her in-laws always ride her for it, esp. since her DD1 often wouldn't eat at their house because they don't visit there often (my friend lives in Amarillo, her in-laws in Canadian) which is ridiculous given that the child's father is several inches over six feet and skinny as a rail himself. My friend was quite slender growing up, still isn't what I'd call fat (but she might).<br><br>
Her DD2 has started out as more of a chubster type baby. Both were formula fed, so if your mother blames it on breastfeeding, just tell her there are formula fed babies like that, too, the doc says she's okay, and she won't complain if she grows into a thin adult, will she?
 

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Unfortunately, I don't think there is going to be anything you can do or say to change her mind. Of course, tell her what the pediatrician says, point out how the WHO recommends nursing until 2 (and American Academy of Pediatrics recommends a year or as long as the relationship is beneficial), and point out all of the developmental milestones that your child has reached. My daugher is exactly the same size as your child, and my mother in law had to really hold her tongue to not say everything she was clearly thinking about how skinny dd was. But, because she keeps dd once a week, she is always noting the tiny new things she has learned and can do. If your child was starving, she couldn't learn anything new! You can only change how you react to your MIL, but you might not be able to change her reactions. Despite 30-some years of research being available to the contrary, my MIL insisted that if I had fed my 3-week old daughter cereal, she would have slept better at night. People tend to believe that what they did was best (or else they might feel bad that what they did was wrong!). She probably had a chubby baby who was formula fed, and the dr. back then emphasized both.<br><br>
So, just try to reassure her as much as you can, and focus on not letting her bother you. I did this about a multitude of things my MIL said to make me crazy, and I felt better as soon as I learned not to let her get to me. The important thing is that my daughter has a great relationship with her grandparents, and they love her completely. AND, she is very healthy, and skinny, and breastfed. You know you're doing the right thing, and if she can't trust you, it isn't your fault!<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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When I read this thread to my DH, he said,<br>
"Grandma will always be worried about something."<br><br>
And he is right. If it isn't that your toddler is too skinny, it will be that they are to fat, too pale, too red, too short, too tall, reads too much, or reads too little...<br><br>
If you aren't worried, and your doctor isn't worried, and Grandma's opinion giving is really bothering you, just tell Grandma the next time she brings it up, "My DD's doctor is not concerned, and I do not intend to discuss this with you anymore."
 

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kate, are you a big person? were you a big toddler? my son is also a stringbean, but his father and i, though we are fat now, were both small, skinny toddlers & children. neither my mother nor his is surprised that beanbean is small, in fact i think they'd both be more surprised if he was big.<br><br>
there used to be a thread for parents of skinny kids in finding your tribe... maybe you could start a new one? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="innocent">
 
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