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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The "Hit the pillow thread" got me thinking....<br><br>
I handle my anger very well, in a non-destructive manner. In fact, it takes A LOT to make me angry in the first place. I usually just breathe through it and try to look at the big picture. My DH is extremely reactionary. He's downright frightening sometimes. We have holes in the walls, he calls me names, yells. He's also 6'5 and I'm 5'2 so it's extremely scary for me and DD when he gets mad. I model what I believe to be a very appropriate way to handle anger, he does not. That leaves DD in the middle trying to figure things out.<br><br>
(Editted to add: Re-read my post and DH sounds like a monster! He's really not abusive, just big and scary and has a family legacy that includes yelling, insults, and hitting inanimate objects. He knows this and wants to improve himself, but he doesn't know how.)<br><br>
Any books about improving this type of situation? Any books for my DH to read about better ways to handle his anger? Something short because he doesn't have time to read. My DD is 20 months and starting to have lots of angry moments. She doesn't know what to do and I don't know what to do, so I just hold her or try to distract her. I try to get her to breathe with me. So far, she hasn't seemed to pick up on my DH's ways for expressing anger (thank God!), and I want to keep it that way.<br><br>
Any insight please! Thank you, mamas.
 

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I would recommend you and/or your DH reading The Anger Management Sourcebook.<br><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F0737305916%2F103-6110404-2534206%3Fv%3Dglance%26n%3D283155%26n%3D507846%26s%3Dbooks%26v%3Dglance" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/073...books&v=glance</a><br><br>
My husband and I both have anger management issues. We've been together a long time and we've both improved but I can recall when DH was teen and young adult and punched holes in a wall! And we still have issues. I wish I could say I handle my anger as effectively as you do but I definitely don't.<br><br>
I sought out this book and I read it and it really helped me understand my anger and my husband's. DH is not a big reader of books (prefers newspapers and manuals) so I read this and tried to talk with DH about solutions. I found this book particularly helpful because it talked so much about the deep reasons behind anger and how to approach it, particularly looking at the "big picture". For me, too, it was helpful in understanding what, to me, is almost a chemical sort of imbalance - just seeing "red" literally when overcome with the emotion.<br><br>
I really hope this book helps - I definitely think it's worth taking a look at. I found it good too since you don't have to read start to finish - can pick a chapter or a page and work through it. Good luck!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks! I just bought it.... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 
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