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I'm not sure if this is the right place to post, or the right thing to post, or... anything. I am generally functional, in pretty much all realms except romantic relationships which I totally fail at still, but that's a different post). But sometimes I slip into depression, and sometimes I slip into dissociation. I can generally climb out of depression with a course of SSRIs, but I don't know what to do for the dissociation.<br><br>
I'm living in Paris this spring, staying with some people... who are fine, really, but we're not like friends. I have some superficial friends here, people to hang with... well, maybe that's all I have at home, too. I don't know. I am not thinking too clearly.<br><br>
For the last few days I've spent a lot of time just walking around feeling not-real. I haven't talked to people much, because I don't seem to want to. I'm all wrapped up in my head and it's a lot of effort to get out. I like to walk.<br><br>
I've had a headache on and off for days, too. Sometimes I take motrin and sometimes I take fiorcet (prescription) and sometimes I do nothing and let it hurt. The fioricet makes me sleepy and even more far away, maybe? I'm not sure.<br><br>
I should be doing other stuff, research, I dunno, but it seems not-real, too... and I am not sure if writing this is a big mistake because I cannot THINK. I need to THINK.
 

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Walk all over that city and think. No right or wrong if it comes to your head. Don't judge your thoughts. Just accept them. (what they keep telling me in yoga, but hard for me to do!) Hope you find some clarity and relief from the headaches.
 

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Ughhh I hate the feeling of dissociation, I hate not feeling 'real' -- to me it is one of the worst feelings ever. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
One thing that helps me is to focus on something very physical. Hard exercise, or a tight hug from someone I love, a long hot (or cold, if you prefer) shower, even just drinking a very cold glass of water. Also I am blanking out on what this is called but what I do is sit or lay down and one by one go through each muscle group and tighten it as hard as I can and then release. Then tighten every muscle in my body & hold in my breath, squeeze my eyes shut, and then all at once, release. Over & over several times.<br><br>
I often somehow end up wandering around all stuck in my head and I think that I need to THINK but what I really need is to FEEL. I don't let myself feel, I hate to feel, but when you can let yourself feel pleasant, controlled sensations like some of the ones I wrote above, often it can bring you back to reality.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> i know what you mean about the slipping, the not-real feelings, the need to THINK. i wish i had answers for you, but know that you will be in my thoughts and you know how to reach me if you need.
 

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I have a hard time with disassociation too. Sometimes you need to think, and that is OK. Can you let your self be OK with just walking around the city thinking? Are you being and doing as you walk around? What can you do that you enjoy? Is there a part of the city you haven't been to and where you would be less likely to run into any acquaintances? Some place where you would feel free to express your self how ever that may be in the moment?<br><br>
I hope you feel better soon.
 

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can you find a nice walk route, breakfast shop where you get to know the poeple!! Are there flowers and birds there?<br><br>
Maybe it is a touch of culture shock too?<br><br>
hope your headache disappears and fast<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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What things have helped you in the past? Letting go of what you want to be feeling and accepting what is really happening might make it easier to get there, if that makes any sense.<br><br>
What do you love to do? can you give yourself a day or two of 'vacation' and see if you can find your way back to being able to think clearly and feel less dissociated? Meds never help me with that. For me it requires good food, time, lots of walking, looking at beautiful things (gardens, yarn shops, book stores, art galleries, etc), listening to music i love, maybe going to a light movie - things like that. Then I feel more like myself and I can carry on.<br><br>
When you feel sleepy are you letting yourself sleep? Sleep, hydration and nutrition are biggies for me.<br><br>
(((Dar))) hang in there, my friend <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 
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