[numom499]

I "think" both of these topics have been discussed before. We practice GD and I thought I could share what works for us with these two things...

Slugs Bugs - The only reason my children even know about this game is from other children. We do "HUG BUGS" (usually just a quick one arm hug to the person next to you) - since we started this when they were perschool/early school age, it has never been swcoffed at. And my kids always tell people we play HUG BUGS and we've never head a problem with kids anting to conitinue with the SLug Bugs.

Birthday Spanking - We have never spanked our children, but I never gave bd spankings a lot of thought until my then 6 year old started talking about them, because he had heard of other people doing it. I guess before then, if pressed, i would h ave said that i thought bd spankings were fine if done in fun and the child consented. That being said, when it first came up, we decided to do bd kisses instead (only among our immediate family). So last week, my dh got 38 birthday kisses from each of us.

Hope this offers some ideas for others.

 

[embers]

We have been playing 'slug bug" and "slap wagon" forever... and our son joined in at under 2 years old. Our variation - we say these things... sometimes yell them and laugh. That is how the game is played... No punching or slapping. It is a fun focus game and too cute to hear my son yell "SLAP WAAAAGON!"... he has no idea that people hit eachother with this game... and really, I had forgotten, too

 

[numom499]

thats great, embers...I was thinking this might be an alternative to the "slapping" version of the game

 

[UnschoolnMa]

We've done birthday "spankings" before. It's all just total silliness though, no one is hurt, and the kids are totally in control of what is happening and when it stops. Everyone ends up laughing hysterically. It's nice to have alternatives though.

 

[lactivist]

We've always done "touch buggies" and bd hugs. I used to DREAD my birthday spankings and would not put my kids through that same experience. Birthdays around here don't involve pain.

:
Wendi

 

[UnschoolnMa]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lactivist Birthdays around here don't involve pain. : Wendi

No doubt... what a strange thing that must be for kids to associate the fun of a birthday with!

 

[alba]

What is slug bugs?????

We birthday spank. And a "pinch" to grow and inch too.

In our family mommy spanks as much as she hugs and kisses. I've always swatted their bottoms affectionately. The kids love it. I also had to laugh while reading the SuperNanny post, because my kids have been "naughty" little monkeys since forever! Yes, you'll see me chasing after a naked wet child grasping their bottom and giggling madly as I tell them I'm going to get the naughty little things for all that splashing.

Geez, could you imagine any dealings with DSS? "Does mommy spank you?" "All the time!"

 

[Thalia the Muse]

Alba, we're like that too! We do a lot of tickling and turning the kid upside-down and other very physical play, because she loves it. And as part of the romping we sometimes do very gentle "spanks" on the bottom, which make her giggle. Birthday spanks NEVER hurt at all, in my family -- just like you never tickle after someone says "stop."

Needless to say she has never been spanked or slapped or physically punished in any way -- she just really loves rough-housing. We also chase her around the house, threaten to fatten her up and cook her for dinner, or sell her and the cat to the Gypsies.

 

[jessjgh1]

Clueless on Slug Bugs, too?? What's that?

Jessica

 

[Korimomto2]

Glad to hear other people "play spank"

I've been using it to redirect my toddler from angry/frustrated hitting. Although I don't know if it's a good thing or not

: but it keeps ME from getting mad that he's hitting me. If he slaps me I'll say in a silly voice, "Are YOU spanking ME?? What if I spank YOU??" and then give him a few very light playful spanks on the bottom or thigh or wherever I can reach that suddenly giggly wiggly boy.

OTOH, I've never understood birthday spankings and definately don't plan to do them.

 

[ellesmama]

In first grade, our teacher gave us birthday spankings while everyone in class counted them out together. It was in fun and of course was very gentle, but I remember feeling extremely uncomfortable and embarassed lying over my teacher's lap getting swatted on the butt. And embarrassed when it was the other kids's turn too.... Now when I think about it is so WEIRD, I can't believe that was so normal.

I can see doing it within your own family for fun, although I like the idea of kisses much better. Dh loves 'play spanking'/chasing dd and getting her butt, I don't like it though, I don't want her to associate fun and playing w/her dad with 'spanking'. I guess I'm a little wishy-washy.

 

[DevaMajka]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ellesmama In first grade, our teacher gave us birthday spankings while everyone in class counted them out together. It was in fun and of course was very gentle, but I remember feeling extremely uncomfortable and embarassed lying over my teacher's lap getting swatted on the butt. And embarrassed when it was the other kids's turn too.... Now when I think about it is so WEIRD, I can't believe that was so normal.

I never had it happen at school, but the few times it was done to me (or another kid) by family, I remember feeling very uncomfortable and upset about it. Even though it was "voluntary" (I imagine) it was still kinda expected, kwim?
I won't do it here at all. Thanks for the alternative ideas

 

[ellesmama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deva33mommy I never had it happen at school, but the few times it was done to me (or another kid) by family, I remember feeling very uncomfortable and upset about it. Even though it was "voluntary" (I imagine) it was still kinda expected, kwim? I won't do it here at all.

Yeah, that's totally what I meant, even though it WAS in FUN and WAS "VOLUNTARY", it still made me feel weird, and I imagine it made the other children feel weird too. And yes, it really was expected that you did it, you couldn't really say 'no, thanks'. I think it could be the same way w/in a family situation as well, depending on whether or not a dc felt able to say no, and the parent respected.

This gets me thinking about other issues as well. Like tickling beyond the point of a child saying 'no', while they are of course giggling and trying to catch their breath. A lot of parents keep going, mine did, and I remember feeling bad about that too, even though I was giggling. It's like it didn't matter that I said no, because they knew better. That sends a strange message, kwim?

 

[DevaMajka]

I totally 100% hear what you are saying, ellesmama, and I agree with you on all of it.

 

[Thalia the Muse]

Quote:

This gets me thinking about other issues as well. Like tickling beyond the point of a child saying 'no', while they are of course giggling and trying to catch their breath. A lot of parents keep going, mine did, and I remember feeling bad about that too, even though I was giggling. It's like it didn't matter that I said no, because they knew better. That sends a strange message, kwim?

I totally agree. I think tickling after someone tells you to stop is worse than punitive spanking, in some ways, because at least parents who spank don't try to tell the kids they're having FUN, you know? And tickling can be agonizing, it's a form of torture, even if it's not exactly painful.

 

[lactivist]

Tickling beyond the point of me saying no was one way my step-dad terrorized me as a child. We have a stop means stop rule in our house. You can scream "nooooooooooo" in play but once the stop word comes out the hands come off the other person. BTW "slug bugs/punch buggies" is a "game" that kids play while riding in the car. When someone spots a VW bug the person hits another kid and says "slug bug green..." or "punch buggy yellow" depending on the car color. The kids all try to be the first to see them and all pay attention to the cars going by. I have no idea where my kids learned it but the first time I saw it I changed it to touch buggies. You can lightly touch the other person and declare "touch buggy orange" I won't have my kids hitting each other, for fun or not. In our car the game ends instantly if anyone gets to rough.
Wendi

 

[mammastar2]

I don't think I'd heard of birthday spanks before....we had birthday 'bumps' growing up, where the other kids lift you by your arms and legs and bump you on the ground X number of times. I was always pretty happy my birthday fell during the holiday! Yuck.

 

[fuzzypeach]

slugbug - we did it similarly to lactivist in that we called out the color, but we counted each one as a point - and VW karmen ghias and things were worth five points

it was so fun to get more points than my dad.

 

[alba]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thalia the Muse We also chase her around the house, threaten to fatten her up and cook her for dinner, or sell her and the cat to the Gypsies.

Our house too!!! OMG, I've been waiting for the gypsies to come and get them for years now!

: Even the older children have started telling the baby that they're gonna nibble her up, and then proceed to nibble her arms and legs, she ADORES it!

All the kids know I'm keeping the cat though. The dog on the other hand? Yeah, the tinkers can have him too!

 

[alba]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lactivist BTW "slug bugs/punch buggies" is a "game" that kids play while riding in the car. When someone spots a VW bug the person hits another kid and says "slug bug green..." or "punch buggy yellow" depending on the car color. The kids all try to be the first to see them and all pay attention to the cars going by. I have no idea where my kids learned it but the first time I saw it I changed it to touch buggies. You can lightly touch the other person and declare "touch buggy orange" I won't have my kids hitting each other, for fun or not. In our car the game ends instantly if anyone gets to rough. Wendi

How funny I've never heard of it, my youngest boy LOVES VW bugs, and keeps count of them wherever we go.