[HappyMommy2]

My 3.5 yo DS keeps snatching toys from my 1.5 yo DD. No matter what she touches, he immediately grabs it. I get tired of trying to intercept it.

Sometimes she flips out and other times she just goes and grabs something else.

What do you wise mamas do, or not do, or say about this?

thanks!

 

[HappyMommy2]

I can't be the only one with this problem! Am I? Or perhaps this is the wrong forum....

 

[harmonyhobbit]

Kind of. Mine did it a couple of times (each of them at different times), but I do not tolerate that kind of behavior. We have a strict rule that they play together nicely, or not at all. If I hear/see something like that, the offending child must leave the playroom, usually to their bed to lay down till they feel they can control themselves better. Once they are calm, I will talk to them about the offending behavior. We rarely have repeats of the behaviors.

 

[Astrogirl]

No, not the only one.

My DD did it too, despite the fact that she's not even a "mine" kind of kid. I would always correct her and every time she did it, I'd say "is that how we ask for something?". It was a long process, but now she is great about sharing with her sister and being gentle about things.

I think she does it because its a big sister/control thing. She wants to be the one in power, the one who decides things. I have also demonstrated to her that many times if she just asks her sister for something, she will give it to her. Therefore snatching is unnecessary. I think at 3.5 yrs they are old enough to learn these concepts, either by us showing, or explaining it to them. However, it takes a few hundred time for it to actually get across to them.

 

[Super Glue Mommy]

I tell my child they need to return the toy, but I don't pry it out of their hands. I will sit with them until they are ready to return it. I may remind them of a time when someone did that to them, and ask them how they think the other child might feel. I also, first, tell the other child they WILL get their toy back and apologize on behalf of my child. I will suggest ideas with my child on how to make ammends. This works for us. My DD took a toy from my son a few weeks ago and I said to him "She will return your toy" then to her I said "You will need to return that. Come sit with me until you are ready to return the toy" My son came up and told her he was sad and please return the toy, and she handed it back and they moved on.

We also try to intervene before it gets to that point. DS wants the toy DD has. I will say "you can ask for her to let you know when she is done so you can have a turn, or you can find something to trade with her that you think she would really love, and if she doesn't want to share we will find something else just as fun for you to play with" Most times they trade - sometimes the other child just offers to give up the toy because they see how important it is to the other child, but if we must find something else to do this is acceptable usually, the child will be happier to have an activitiy to do WITH me then to play alone with the other toy. And then usually when this happens, the other child wants to trade that toy for mommy LOL and then we all end up doing something together

We used to do force returns, and weren't getting anywhere. With our new approach, sharing and snatching is nearly a non existent issue now - but aside from effectiveness I feel better about the message I am sending with this approach. Just what works for our family, I trust you will find something that works for your family, there is wide range of options here, and I'm sure you will know which is right for you once it comes to you