[echospiritwarrior]

I tried to throw out my DH's nasty Stihl hat a few weeks ago (you know the type it had funk, paint, grime, foam was coming out of it and was totally faded) not to mention he has ANOTHER one that is brand new that he won't wear. He fished the first one out of the trash. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"><br><br>
So after a little disagreement a few days ago I was cleaning up and just pitched it, I know it was a horrible thing to do but I just couldn't help it.<br><br>
With my kiddos, I take extra toys/clothing I'd like to see gone and I hide them in a closet or in our room somewhere and make sure they don't keep asking over that particular item and after a couple of weeks it's gone. I do involve my almost 5 year old with giving and decluttering but my two year old just isn't quite there yet so the above method works fairly well for us.<br><br>
I feel as if I should have set aside my husbands hat in a hiding and asked again if I could pitch it if he ever brought it up, or if a few weeks went by without him asking about it then I could pitch it with less guilt.<br><br>
The STIHL hat wrath has not come down upon me yet and I am going to feel awful when I confess. I should have handled the entire situation differently, more gently.<br><br>
I'd love to hear your methods that work and are gentle, by sneaky I don't mean underhanded like I did <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> but more subtle smooth and functional.

 

[ASusan]

Well, I toss DH's underwear when it gets holey, and I do that when I'm folding clean clothes. I have yet to really venture further than that. I may progress to socks, but only if they go through the wash - I'm not digging in his drawers!

 

[echospiritwarrior]

Oh no, I wasn't digging for it to be completely malicious, rather I was harnessing my frustrations by cleaning and when I stumbled upon that tattered hat out of place it seemed like the right time because I was just in a toss-it-out-and-start-fresh kind of mood.<br><br>
I hope that didn't go across wrong.<br><br>
I also throw out grungy socks and holey undies and t-shirts while I'm folding laundry (or rather I toss them into the rag stack for nasty cleaning jobs.<br><br>
Just wondering if there was a more sensitive way I could have handled the nasty hat since my DH was obviously rather attached to it.

 

[Smidge]

I'm guilty as charged <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"><br><br>
I throw DHs holey undies, his holey shirts and anything else that isn't presentable. He owns his own painting and handyman biz, so while he gets dirty every day, there is no reason for him to wear holey clothing. He gets nice and mad at me, but I tell him that I wouldn't want someone coming to our house with holey clothes on. I threw away so many shirts last week that I think I need to go to the thrift store and buy him some more.<br><br>
My hubby has hoarders for parents so I just have to throw it away b/c sometimes he has tendencies to keep stuff b/c <i>he may use it 1 day</i> <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked"><br><br>
Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do

 

[echospiritwarrior]

thanks smidge, DH also does painting/construction/carpentry so is NASTY day after day and that hat had seen some days. I think when he does approach me about it I'll have to chime in on being 'presentable' would certainly increase his chance of getting jobs <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">

 

[laohaire]

Well, I'm not sure how I feel about that hat situation.<br><br>
If it was a hat that was never used and died a timely death, fine.<br><br>
But if that hat is all worn and such because it's your husband's favorite hat - shame on you for chucking it! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
A new one just isn't the same.

 

[Smidge]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>laohaire</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15440612"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Well, I'm not sure how I feel about that hat situation.<br><br>
If it was a hat that was never used and <b>died a timely death, fine</b>.<br><br>
But if that hat is all worn and such because it's your husband's favorite hat - shame on you for chucking it! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
A new one just isn't the same.</div>
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</tr></table></div>
This made me laugh <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">

 

[Smidge]

I wanted to add that I've always told my hubby that if something doesn't look flattering on me that I would hope he would tell me and urge me to get rid of it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">

 

[Katie T]

I do it too, my Dh is a horder and we have seriously close to 50 hats. He has me wash them and they don't look any better. When I find a nasty one I throw it away and when he asks me about it I tell him what I did. He pouts but gets over it quickly because he knows I'm right (the hat was almost inwearable lol)<br><br>
He doesn't mind this as he would seriously never throw anything out. It is our system and works well and I don't feel guilty at all as he is ok with it.<br><br>
As for gentle ways I don't know, they wouldn't work with my hubby lol.

 

[thixle]

I secretly wish my hubby would throw out more of my crap <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> He does every once in a while, and sometimes I do feel a bit angry, but I think I always come around to "It was for the best."

 

[Caneel]

I am sort of guilty of the OPs methods. I am packing up things that DH doesn't seem to care about or doesn't use on a regular basis. It will all go in a central area of the basement. What he chooses to do with the stuff is all on him.<br><br>
This works, for lack of a better word, because DH simply doesn't care about the stuff, to a point. To him, out of sight, out of mind yet I can see him picking stuff out of the trash. He has done this in the past with my stuff.<br><br>
Also, we have a huge basement with rack storage. I could care less what happens down there so if a box of his 20 year old hats rots down there, so be it.

 

[lucifugous]

I've gotten to that point with some things. Recently I got rid of two t-shirts out of the trifecta of immature shirts. He did wear them but only if they were on top of the pile, kwim? He has more t-shirts than can fit into his drawers (he takes up more drawer space than the 2.yo. & I combined), and also has recently purchased new ones. We've both generated rags from the ones good for nothing else, but he still has way more than he can ever wear and he won't give them up because they're still wearable. Now there is one shirt left over out of the three with immature sayings, and I know it is the one he liked best. He'll get over it. We both need to let things go.