[boobyfeeder]

So I have been mostly honest with people about my intent to have a homebirth, but few people know of my UC plans. My gram doesn't even know that I am planning a homebirth. She is a judgemental person and I just don't want to get into it with her, kwim? Besides, if she would just get the internet she would know, b/c it's posted on the baby's webpage!

Anyway, so my mom was chatting with gram the other day, telling her that I'm 6cm dilated already. Gram says to mom "If she's not careful, she'll have that baby at home with DH catching!" My mom had to struggle so hard not to burst out laughing (mom knows about UC).

It would be so much easier if I could just TELL people, but everyone has an opinion on UC, and the people in my life wouldn't react well to it. As it is, most of them are freaked out about homebirth (you mean, you won't have access to ANY drugs at ALL? Are you nuts??). However, a unique opportunity has presented itself with the fact that I am 6cm dilated. I am considering telling people that I had a UC, but that it was an "oops" b/c the m/w didn't make it on time. Since the m/w we had originally chosen (and subsequently fired, but they don't know that) does in fact live an hour away, it would be a believable story. What do you think, should I just tell people after that we had a UC and it was an oops or let them think it was a m/w attended hb? This is assuming things go as planned and I get my UC.

 

[BetsyS]

For some people (ie your grandma), I think this is a brilliant plan.

It just stops all the conversation that you don't need about what a crazy choice you made.

 

[BirthFree]

It depends... I like to give a positive light re: UC (vs. an oops-UC) but if you're dealing with someone you don't want to go the 10 hundred yards with then maybe stretch it a bit. But don't you think she'll eventually find out that that's what happened since she'll be around a while with other people who DO know?

We aren't going to tell my family - my twin sister knows and my IL's know (kind of)... but it likely won't come up and we just won't correct them. If they knew we are planning a UC I literally think I would fry my Mother's nerves in a day. She would be way too upset. It just isn't a matter of telling anyone our plans... they assume and that's fine. If we're asked though, I'll be honest.

 

[sapphire_chan]

Popping in from outside since the title was so interesting.

The only thing to consider with the "oops MW didn't make it line" is that may convince people that homebirths are inherently unsafe "what if the midwife doesn't even get there on time? My cousin/aunt/sister's husband had to deliver the baby!"

How about "things were going so smoothly and easily that we didn't even think about calling the midwife until after the baby was born"?

 

[AmieV]

I like sapphire's idea...though I certainly would tell grandma whatever you need to avoid confrontation. I think if you're bold enough it'd be nice to shed some positive light on UC. I personally still think you UC'ers are pretty nuts, but when I read all the positive, safe stories about it I can't help but be swayed into thinking it can't be THAT "out there". Plus, it's totally different to tell people what you did after the fact when you and the baby are healthy than when you're pg and everyone wants to give you horror stories and tell you you're stupid. I know no one has given me any guff about my homebirth this time around because they all know my first was born drug free at the birth center.

 

[boobyfeeder]

sapphire, I like your idea. I think I will just go with the flow when the time comes. The only people who know the truth besides me and DH are my mother and my sister, so I don't worry about my gram being around anyone who would let it slip. We'll see how it goes and go from there.