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To back up, here’s the deal: I just found out I’m pregnant. It’s a good thing, a huge surprise, but also surprisingly happy. I’m 28, I’m an established professional, I’m financially pretty secure, and I have a good support network. I got health insurance literally three days before I found out (take that, health care industry). I adore my job and want to stay there. I’m unmarried, plan on staying that way and have sort of casually been dating the dad for two or three months. He’s been out of town and gets the news tonight. We actually had a conversation a few weeks ago, and he said something along the lines that he wasn’t opposed to abortion but if he ever got anyone pregnant he’d plead with her to have the baby, even if she just handed the child over to him and split. So I’m hoping he’ll be supportive.<br>
My ex-boyfriend has a four year old son, and he stayed with us for a few months. He was great, he started calling me step-mamma, and I miss him more than his dad. But that’s the extent of my mothering experience.<br>
Past that, I’m trying real hard to think of my previous experiences with babies, and it’s basically limited to making a funny face at baby, awkwardly holding it for a minute while trying to figure out what to do with the head and politely passing it back to the mother.<br>
So yeah, what do babies do all day? I know it sounds like an odd question but I’m honestly pretty in the dark about the first few months. I know what four year olds do all day, but in the first six months or so, what's the sleep/cry ratio? Can I take it to work with me to my laid back, crunchy office for the first few months? What am I in for? Can I figure out a way to keep my job and my baby? Can I pull this off?
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
Sorry to <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> at your thread, but I had the same crazy butt questions too. Seriously for the first month they do 4 things- sleep, cry, eat, and go potty. That's pretty much it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:<br><br>
Really I was the same way with my DD, I had no idea what the heck I signed myself up for. I had no idea what I was doing. After I popped her out, everything just fell into place. It's like I turned up the mother hormones and became supermom.<br><br>
Just go with the flow, follow your insticts. You'll be a great mama! Congrats!!!!
 

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I don't exactly know about what your office is like, but I know when my son was born, and for about the first 3 months, he did the 4 things misssavanahsmommy said, but he was really portable in that all he wanted to do was nurse and it wasn't too hard to keep him quiet that way. I'd say if you can master nak, you could take the baby to work pretty easy if the boss says it's cool.<br><br>
the only thing is, sleep is a real rarity for awhile so you might be functing below your normal productivity level.<br><br>
so far as I could tell, babies are easy. easier than toddlers. just go with the flow and you'll do fine. it's a lot about instincts. definitely ignore when books tell you to do things that go against your gut. go with what works.<br><br>
congrats!
 

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Aw, thanks, y'all. Laugh away please, I get the feeling that's what will keep me sane the next 8 months--or make that 18 years, right?<br>
I think my office will be cool with me bringing the baby to work for the first few months. In fact, I think it'll all work out pretty good.<br>
Here’s another thought: I’ve killed an ungodly number of houseplants and several fish. But I took pretty good care of my pet rats and I’m a wonderful mother to my dog. Based on that sliding scale, I should be even better with a baby human. I think that's logical.
 

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I just saw this thread in "New Posts" and wanted to respond.<br><br>
Please stick around in this community, and you'll meet many moms that have had unexpected pregnancies, many single moms, many moms that had never been within 10 feet of a baby before having their own, and many moms that have 5 kids, 2 grandkids and neices and nephews and still have a lot of questions!<br><br>
You'll find a lot of support around here. As for knowing how to parent, most people figure it out as they go along. So much if it is instinctual, and you can spend the first few months just bonding with your babe and sifting through the advice (good and bad) of the people around you.<br><br>
Don't get too overwhelmed with the "how to's" early on. Just enjoy your baby and do what comes naturally. As my grandfather would say, "Put down the book. Pick up the baby."<br><br>
Hope to see you around elsewhere on MDC. Good luck with everything!
 

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For about the first two weeks, she looked around at us all squinty-like and slept a lot. I was reeeeeeeally tired!<br><br>
From weeks three - eight, she cried non-stop. She was colicky. She literally cried from 4-10pm without taking a breath every single night. And a good chuck of the day too. And she was up 2-3 times a night to nurse, but pretty easily soothed during the wee hours. She was worn in a sling, we co-slept, she nursed a million times a day on demand, and I let the laundry go.... it didn't matter, she was just miserable. I absolutely couldn't have brought her to work during that timeframe. I could barely pee. I ate M&M's for dinner. It was hard.<br><br>
During week nine, she became a magical baby who started laughing. She slept (2-3 naps a day, only waking at night to nurse) sometimes and was awake sometimes, she pushed up, she learned to roll over a little, and she learned to hold a toy a little. She's been the happiest kid ever since. It's so much fun, really. You've got a good attitude, so you'll be ok.<br><br>
I'm a houseplant killer too. Babies are easy compared to houseplants!! If houseplants would cry to remind me to feed them, it'd be a whole different story. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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As far as doing it on your own... sure you can. I went back to work to a full time job when dd was 4 months old and I have worked ever since. I also completed a 4 yr degree in 2 1/2 yrs during that time. I have always been a single mom and intend to always be a single mom. Is it hard at times.... yup, but it is so worth it.
 

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nothing is easier than the first 3-4 months (solong as your baby isn't colicky). stick them in a carrier of your choice and go about your business. once they hit four months they start getting mobile and squirmy though and starts sleeping less. so it may suddenly get harder to have them at work with you. some are super mellow and can stay at the office or on moms lap for months on end. I would rejoiuce if that is the straw you draw but I wouldn't bet the farm on it.
 

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I'm sure it isn't this way for everybody but in my experience my dd was easy as a baby.<br>
Real stress didn't build in me until she started to grab and walk around. The first four<br>
months I was real lazy. I slept when she slept, she would nurse, while I read or watched<br>
tv, I'd change a diaper, sleep some more, repeat. We would also take a lot of walks outside,<br>
since she was born in summer.<br><br>
Being a single mom has it's stressful times, but it's by far the most rewarding experience<br>
of my life. I had ZERO experience with babies when dd was born. I had been a nanny for<br>
several families, but always for school aged children. I was so worried I wouldn't know<br>
what to do with a baby. But it's really true about instincts kicking in. Right as she came into<br>
the world being her parent was like the most natural thing in the world. Then when small<br>
issues or questions would arise, I would ask family for advice.<br><br>
So happy for you. Congratulations!
 

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Thanks, y'all. I really appreciate the support. What do they say, if everyone waited for the perfect time to have a baby, the human race would end?<br>
I just found out the estimated due date is Christmas Day, which means I have a 95 percent chance that Oliver or Josephine will not be born on Christmas Day, right?
 

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Hey there,<br><br>
Just read your post. Congrats! I am 29 and my ds just turned 1. I am a single mama, and my situation was very much like yours when I got pregnant (his father and I had just been casually dating for 3 months or so). I also worked full-time at a very crunchy office. I took a 6-wk maternity leave and returned to work w/ my boy in tow right after that. The first couple of months were fine....well, I was very sleep-deprived, late to work pretty much every day, lucky if I was wearing two socks and something only halfway spit-up/peed on...but I pulled it off. You will too <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I was so scared to return to work, thinking I couldn't possibly work full-time on no sleep and bring baby with me. But you just gotta take it day by day. If I started to think "how can I get through a month of this" I would totally lose it. So I would say, "how can I get through today?" and just pull myself together for that day, and try and laugh alot. My ds loved his little sling and was very content to just be carried around all day. It also helped to have a few super loving mama co-workers who would take him off my hands when I needed to have a little break and go grab coffee or something. This worked pretty well until he was about 5-6 months old. Then he started getting more mobile, and was not content to hang out in the sling. I had a little "pack-n'play" for him in my office and he would do okay in that for short periods of time, but would really just wanna be out socializing with folks, sitting up/rolling around all over the floor, then eventually crawling. I was so distracted trying to make sure he wasn't getting into something or getting stepped on! And I really had a hard time getting anything done after awhile. I would go home, after being at work with him all day, bring stuff home from work to finish that I couldn't get done, stay up most of the night trying to get stuff done (dishes, laundry, make lunch for the next day, get diaper bag ready, finish work stuff that I couldn't get done...)then do it all again the next day. It sucked. I got pneumonia when he was about 7 months old and I realized it just wasn't working. (I have to give you the disclaimer that I wasn't doing the best job of taking care of *me* or taking any time to myself, so that had a lot to do with it too. I was just completely, utterly exhausted.)<br><br>
I tried to work something out w/ my job to see if I could do more work-from-home/flex schedule kinda thing, but my particular position required too much out in the community and it just wasn't feasible to do more at home. I wasn't going to put my ds in childcare full-time. I just wasn't (still am not) okay with that. Even if I could afford it. SO I ended up getting a new job where i could work fewer/different hours (like now I work a 10-hr shift on Saturdays and my mom watches him all day). I really miss my old job and I do miss bringing him with me, but I think it just gets to the point where they are not going to be happy sitting at work with you all day. They need to get out and crawl and play and be babies, without having to worry that they just destroyed a pile of papers that were...umm...very important or just pulled all the cords out of your co-worker's computer...whoops! Things like that.<br><br>
But I gotta say, the first few months were really nice and I am grateful that I atleast had that time to have him with me and not leave him right away.<br><br>
I also wanted to tell ya (sorry so long!) that you really should talk to a lawyer and draw up some sort of parenting plan/agreement before you have the baby. I know it sounds kinda scary and maybe unnecessary, but trust me...that's the biggest mistake I made. My ex and I had a very casual agreement about what co-parenting would look like. I found out *after*the baby was born (like, a couple weeks after) that we had very different ideas about what was okay/not okay...and that ultimately he was *not* someone I wanted to co-parent with. It turned into a court/retraining order/custody hearing nightmare. I really wish I would have had things all put on paper before, because it was really hard going thru that with a newborn <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> Not that it is easy any time, but it really sucked). Okay I will quit rambling now.<br>
Congrats again lady!!!
 

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I brought my oldest son to work with me in an office setting for the first 14 months of his life. To begin with I kept him in a sling and nursed him most of the day. I started walking to do my errands as it seemed to keep him soothed (he cried whenever he was out of the sling for the first 4 months of his life....LOL, changed our whole parenting philosophy, he never would have been a sling baby in the family bed and exclusively breastfed etc if he didn't let us know so clearly that that is what was necessary <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> )<br><br>
As he got older I switched him to a baby backpack for filing and stuff like that (keep his hands out of the way!!). I had a pack and play in my office with toys that I rotated weekly from home, and I kept an exersaucer in the corner right next to my desk so that I could talk to him while I worked.<br><br>
When he hit about 10-11 months and started being dissatisfied with the pack n play it became a little more difficult as I shared an office and he had his toys and snacks all over the floor by the end of the day. at 13-14 months old he started climbing on furniture whenever I was really busy on the phone or whatever and that was the end of that <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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Re: bringing your baby to work. In my experience it totally depends on the baby, and you just can't know how well it will work until you try it. I brought my first back to work with me when he was eight weeks, and it was a nightmare. My son was just one of those unhappy babies that cried most of the time. I felt like each day at work I had to make a decision between being a crappy employee or a crappy mom. I could hear the voices of all the other moms I had talked to who had said they took thier babies to work with them and how great it was, and I couldn't understand what was wrong with me. On the other hand, I didn't take my daughter back to work with me, since I also had a two year old at the time, but if I had I know it would have been a snap, just strap her in the sling and nurse her now and then and it would have been fine. My point is, babies have a wide range of temperments and levels of need; if you take your baby back to work and it doesn't work out don't be hard on yourself.
 

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Congrats on your pregnancy and <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/Welcome.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="welcome"><br>
I don't know what you do for a living, but sleep is pretty rare when you have a newborn. My ds woke every 2 hrs until over a year old. You learn to deal with it, but I couldn't be doing rocket science during that period. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br>
I took 10 months off after ds was born (I know its different here in Canada with pd leave). Any options of working from home for a bit after your babe is born?
 
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