So apparently I'm an idiot.

My allergist is awesome and is a family friend. And when I went to see him yesterday, he said he was sorry to be mean but that I am being stupid and making some really bad choices. He says since my allergy is so severe, I should be taking an antihistamine every day (alavert) as well as zantac twice a day. He says that my philosophy regarding medicine he respects at any other time, but that in this case I'm risking my life. So far I haven't taken any medicine because I'm pregnant and don't want to risk anything hurting the baby. But he says my logic is screwy, cause by not taking stuff I am much much more likely to hurt the baby. He says everytime I am severly short of breath, so is the baby, and every time my heart becomes arrythmic, it affects the baby. And I've been avoiding medicine cause I thought it would be better for the baby. He says he can understand that theory in most cases or cases where it's a case of comfort, but he kept asking me what the affect of death is on the fetus. He says I should have used my epi-pen long before I even consider it. He says I'm waiting dangerously long and that the longer you wait, the higher the chance of it not working. He said if he had known last time I was in his office that I was not taking the situation seriously enough that he would have been mean then too. I think he was just absolutely shocked, and said that I was lucky I hadn't died yet. I guess I really wasn't taking it as seriously as I should, and since I'm past 20 weeks I am more comfortable taking medicine (none are more risky than class b unless you count the epi-pen, but I don't have much of a choice with that one). But I still don't like any of it. I don't want to take the medicine, but I think that he is right, so I will. And I don't like not being able to leave the house without someone with me, I'm already a practical shut in, I don't want more limitations right now. But I'd do anything to protect my baby. I just don't like any of this. Any thought on this from anyone else? I just feel kind of like an idiot for having such a cavalier attitude about it. It's a lot to think about.