Mothering Forum banner

1 - 7 of 7 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,697 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My baby is only 6 months old, so I am still a very new mom. Breastfeeding wasn't "easy", but I knew without a doubt I was doing it so the sore nipples/latch difficulties were no match for our determination! (This was before I found places like this). I also took a class and did a lot of reading to make sure I was prepared... but anyway, this is what is frustrating:<br><br>
My brother's wife just gave birth to their first baby 4 days ago. She was planning to breastfeed. I'm not close to them at all, but I did try to offer some supportive comments last time I saw her. I sent her some extra soothies I had too, and told her how easy it is after the first few weeks, etc. Anyway, my mom called me and told me he is on formula now because he lost weight. She wanted to keep breastfeeding but after they started giving him bottles he won't take the breast now. She is okay with this. (They also have given him pacifiers since he was born). I really wish I could somehow help, but it seems she doesn't really want it to work that bad. My mom was at the ped with them today and she was telling him how the baby won't nurse anymore (he was latching fine before the bottles!) and the ped said she "shouldn't switch back & forth this early" and so my SIL said she "wanted to do what was best for the baby". And the Ped who SHOULD HAVE USED THIS OPPORTUNITY to tell her to BREASTFEED said "It's all the same, whatever you're comfortable with!!!" So she decided to stop right then.<br><br>
My cousin just gave birth last week to their fourth son. I think she nursed all of them for a few weeks. This one is a week old and she is already on formula too. I don't know the reason...<br><br>
I live in another state, I wish I would have tried to be more supportive to them. But I'm afraid because I am a new mom and younger than them that they would just think I was trying to be a "knowitall".<br><br>
It is just FRUSTRATING because here I am nursing my baby and getting ready to start donating milk too, and here are two perfectly healthy women who should be able to nurse their babies - and they aren't!! I feel really bad for these new babies <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
AND IF THIS DOESN'T PISS YOU OFF - my mom told me that they got a $100 babies r us gift card from the hospital for BREASTFEEDING?!?!?!? I was like ARE YOU SURE?? Apparently it was some kind of incentive or something??? So she said my brother called & told them they weren't BFing anymore & they still got to keep it. NICE.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
308 Posts
That is frustrating, Amanada!<br><br>
My best friend has had 2 kids now and I have tried and tried to offer my support and they have both ended up formula fed. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/guilty.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="guilty"> She did have some reconstructive breast surgery that may have damaged her milk ducts, but in watching her "try" to nurse and also watching her pump, I really think I could have helped her build her supply and at least provide a good amt of mm.<br><br>
She just wasn't very receptive to my attempts and I had to realize that I wouldn't have been true to myself if I hadn't tried and offered the best advice possible, but I can't control what anyone else chooses to do either. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/crap.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crap"><br><br>
I think you did your part and should be glad to know that you did the best you could!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/clap.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="clap">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,310 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">AND IF THIS DOESN'T PISS YOU OFF - my mom told me that they got a $100 babies r us gift card from the hospital for BREASTFEEDING?!?!?!? I was like ARE YOU SURE?? Apparently it was some kind of incentive or something??? So she said my brother called & told them they weren't BFing anymore & they still got to keep it. NICE.</td>
</tr></table></div>
Yeah, that would piss me off too, although it is nice to hear that some one is offering perks to mothers who breastfeed. It would be awsome if something like that was offered by a ped office. Like "Congratulation on making it to 6 months of breast feeding here is a gift cert" , and another if they make it to nine months, twelve months, etc... It is better than, here is a goodie bag for FF <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
663 Posts
I help alot of new moms with BF and so much of the negativity starts right there in the hospital with family and staff. Before I had a kid of my own that I nursed I had a neutral stance on it. Afterall I had no idea how hard or easy it could be.<br><br>
Even people that are supposed to be helpful can seem overwhelming. We have one LC that is really sweet and is pro breastfeeding but when she teaches, she makes it sound so complicated at times. Some moms say " Well I tried position A-Z and this and that wake up technique and nothing works, I just have a sleepy baby that wont latch on" And they will try each one once and only once and decide their baby just wasn't meant to breastfeed. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: They took the breastfeeding classes so they know what to expect, and if their experience isn't textbook than they must be doing something wrong and breastfeeding will not work.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
1,501 Posts
Amanda, I share your frustration. My SIL just had #2, she's such a smart and wonderful lady, but when she told me the other day that she was going to supplement, "because her breast milk wasn't enough for him" !!!!!I wanted to belt her... and then our MIL, sitting next to her said "good for you!" I wanted to knock her off her seat as well! Logic like that makes me <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Yeah, that would piss me off too, although it is nice to hear that some one is offering perks to mothers who breastfeed. It would be awsome if something like that was offered by a ped office. Like "Congratulation on making it to 6 months of breast feeding here is a gift cert" , and another if they make it to nine months, twelve months, etc... It is better than, here is a goodie bag for FF</td>
</tr></table></div>
That is an excellent idea!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
585 Posts
I know how frustrated you feel. A couple of my friends who had previously FF their children decided to "try" breastfeeding after watching my success and how much I enjoyed it. I was so excited- I gave them books during their pregnancy, encouraged them, gave good contacts in case anything came up etc. Each lasted only 2-3 DAYS. I felt so bad and for awhile I took it personally. Especially with a co-worker that I went out at 2am to check her son's latch and did everything I could to help. I was soooo disappointed.<br><br>
But I still try with others and hope for the best.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
186 Posts
I totally agree - my best friend has two children and lasted 4 days with one and didn't even try with her second. Didn't help that her mom was ALL ABOUT getting the kid a bottle. It's extremely frustrating when the support is not there from hubby, mom, etc.<br><br>
It really made me sad/angry, but I figured 1) I'm not a mom yet, so I don't have that level of understanding, and 2) 'my kids' (the ones I've nannied for for 3 years) are the ones I worry about the most, and they were BFed 14 months each and I get the benefits of them never being sick without doing the work of nursing. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
Top