Well,I knew I was bi long before I was married, but I WAS in a relationship with a guy at the time. So, that's pretty different, since it wasn't as serious as a marriage, in fact, we were only in highschool. Anywho, we had been reading a book of erotica, and talking about which fantasies we liked best. I liked the one with 2 women, but of course, being a good little Catholic girl, that totally flipped me out. It actually helped our relationship, I think, being able to share my thoughts at that time with him.
Dh officially came out to me (he's bi too) after we were married, but I had long suspected it. How he did it was pretty funny though. We were out at a strip club on one of our rare dates. We got to talking to another couple, and I could just TELL dh was checking out the guy. So we ended up moving away from them, and dh, having had a few drinks, makes a crude comment that I can't repeat here about what he'd like to do with the guy. I was dying laughing. Over the next few days, we talked about how he felt, and what he wanted to do about it. I do have my moments of insecurity about it, and he probably has them about me and other women too. But we talk through it, and I really think that once again, being open and honest and sharing our feelings has made our relationship stronger.
Right now, we're kind of somewhere between swingers and polyamorous(sp?). We're really not into the anonymous swingers club type scene, but nor do we want a relationship that's as deep as our marriage with another couple. We like to have "friends with benefits". LOL We just operate under our own set of rules, I don't think it's really got a name.
We're going to PrideFest tomorrow. It was interesting enough, the looks we got last year, being a male/female couple with children. This year ought to be more fun, as we're bringing one of my lesbian friends with us. Wish us luck! LOL