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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello everyone,
I have a 23 week old daughter who seems to need more affection than most "normal" babies. I started out always listening to everyone saying they need to be in thier own bed for such and such reason. When she was first born I put her right next to our bed but also loved sleep next to her but was terrified of smoothering her like I was told I would do! So I never slept.(besides she is a very restless child in everything, sleeping, nursing ...) I had heard about this family bed situation in passing but never really looked into it. Well now at 23 weeks she does sleep in her crib at night (I never let her cry like they tell me to) and some times she sleeps just fine by her self anywhere between 4-8 hours. But if she wakes up I tend to just nurse her and let her sleep with me. So going with my instincts here I figure if it seems like something good why now learn more about it.....

So I would love to hear any feed back you all might have. What are the Pros and Cons? What are your best or worst experiences? Thanks for the any info!
 

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Hi mommy! I think more people do exactly what you do than will generally admit it! But if you get a group of mothers talking and sharing, and their guard comes down -- many parents admit to having their kids in bed with them for a portion of each night. Its human nature to share sleep with our children, and there are good reasons for it.

The only caution I have is that in some studies, "reactive" cosleeping is shown to carry more risks than "planned" cosleeping. Its because families who plan and choose cosleeping go to some effort to make their beds safe for baby. Whearas reactive cosleeping sometimes occurs without much effort being put into safety precautions, or happens on unsafe surfaces like sofas. So I guess my advice would be to look at some safety tips for cosleeping with a baby, and make adjustments where necessary -- and then relax and enjoy it!


This article might be helpful: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t102200.asp
 

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We sometimes feel that cosleeping has been the secret of our happy parenting! We did not plan to cosleep before ds was born, but it only took one night of noticing, "hey, he screams when we put him in the bassinet and he sleeps peacefully for 4 hours when he's next to us" for us to let him stay. Definitely do some reading on how to cosleep safely, but try not to listen to those who insist you'll roll over on the baby -- that's extremely unlikely unless you're intoxicated or very obese. My favorite analogy is, you don't roll off the bed at night, right? So even in your sleep, you know where you are.

Pros: 1) not having to get out bed to tend to baby so you can get more
sleep -- this is big!
2) breastfeeding is so much easier and so you tend to do it longer,
which is good for everybody
3) happy morning baby smiling at you
4) it made my ds stop screaming and start sleeping!

Cons: 1) i do believe they wake up more often as older babies than crib babies do. But when it's so easy to get them back to sleep (mine anyway), it's more than worth it.

Good luck!
 

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When I first started cosleeping I read a book that helped to put me at ease called "Good Nights" by dr jay gordon. I also have a couple of Dr Sears books. My DS was a very colicky baby with reflux and cosleeping and babywearing was our saving grace. Like the pp said I do believe that older babies do wake up a bit more often, but well worth the bonding and security it gives DS. He is thriving!
 

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Just put her in your bed. Humans, like all mammals, are designed for babies to sleep with mama.

My daughter has only slept with us. We never had a crib in the house at all. TONS of pros in my opinion and no cons.

-Angela
 

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I think what you're doing sounds fine...or if you want, just start her out in your bed. I have 2 dds, ages 2.5 and 11 months, and I wonder if I'd get any sleep at all if they were in different rooms. They both wake at night and need to nurse back to sleep and the thought of having to get out to bed to deal with it is more than I can imagine!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by oggiemom View Post
When I first started cosleeping I read a book that helped to put me at ease called "Good Nights" by dr jay gordon. I also have a couple of Dr Sears books. My DS was a very colicky baby with reflux and cosleeping and babywearing was our saving grace. Like the pp said I do believe that older babies do wake up a bit more often, but well worth the bonding and security it gives DS. He is thriving!
I think Gordon and Sears are very reassuring about this too.
http://www.drjaygordon.com
http://www.askdrsears.com

How many months is 23 weeks?
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thank you all for the responces! 23 weeks is almost 6 months (if you go by one months is 4 weeks) but she was born on June 14th so she will technically be 6 months on December 14th. I get so confused some times because different people go by the date and other people by the number of weeks... So I just say the number of weeks instead of months now!! Weird huh?
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Mommy1636 View Post
...she was born on June 14th...
Hey - that's my birthday!

I'm glad she's getting some good sleep time with her mama. My kids have all coslept, and, aside from the muscle aches, I don't see any cons.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Mommy1636 View Post
Thank you all for the responces! 23 weeks is almost 6 months (if you go by one months is 4 weeks) but she was born on June 14th so she will technically be 6 months on December 14th. I get so confused some times because different people go by the date and other people by the number of weeks... So I just say the number of weeks instead of months now!! Weird huh?
Thanks. Math is sometimes hard for me.


I had two babies. One was mellow. The other needed a lot more, more nursing (more often) more holding. They were just different. I wouldn't worry about people who tell you something is wrong...just let those comments roll over you and enjoy your little snuggle bear!
 

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Here is a great safety article:

http://www.mothering.com/articles/ne...hue-carey.html

A few years ago, Mothering Magazine had an entire special issue devoted to Co-Sleeping...you might want to order it---it was very, very affirming.

Babies are designed to be close to mama for a myriad of reasons---not just because it's easier and wonderful
 

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the pros are awesome... escpecially for a little one that needs bf'ing often in the pm. Our ds is 3.5 now and, although we JUST got him the bunk bed of his dreams, we're having trouble getting him to sleep in his own room now that we've been cosleeping and we're ALL so use to it. And that's the con.
 

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Ooops, something else I wanted to add
Most "normal" babies need lots and lots of affection! Perhaps the babies you've met/or seen have been forced to accept less affection than what is *normal.* Something to think about


Something that helped me many years ago was to stop listening to what "everybody" who had thoughts about how/why/where I *should* be doing things w/my baby


Who are these they people? They sound really negative
You know your baby better than anyone--and you know yourself and your family's needs the best. What anyone else cares to think is their own business, and should be of no concern to you---it's hard to get there--but, really, you are the authority now. Trust your instincts! It's great to gather information and find like-minded support--but always trust your gut, (not the chattering naysaying folks). Your instincts won't steer you wrong
 
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