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So I just really feel neglected by the prenatal care. I know I should not care, but ..sheesh!

1037 Views 12 Replies 6 Participants Last post by  rareimer
First, I started with an OB who is known for vbac. But, he goes out of town a lot and seemingly, does not leave anyone on call which has left me in a bind twice now. At 20 weeks when I had a fever and contractions (ended up being a virus) and at 26 weeks when I had a low grade fever, head ache, and stabbing back pain (ended up being a UTI). Both times, I had to seek someone out to see me because he had left no one on call. During this time, I started seeing a 2nd doctor, the one who delivered my last baby. I never dropped either doctor. (until today).

Thing is, the first doctor rarely sees me, goes out of town a lot, runs no tests, not even sure why I bother to make the long drive to his office. His waits are long too, but he is very popular. But I have never seen where people get called back who were there after me. Even if I saw that, if it happened on occassion, I would assume the other person had something wrong they needed in quicker. I am 29 weeks pregnant and have only been seen once in the first trimester to verify pregnancy, at 14 weeks, 20 weeks, and then 28 weeks. I have my last two appointments scheduled until delivery. One is at 32 weeks and the other at 36. The office staff was trying to push the 36 week appointment to 37 and then when it turned out the doctor is out of town the week I am 37 weeks, they wanted to push it to 38 but I actually insisted, and for once they allowed it, for them to put it earlier instead of later. So I will be seen at 36 weeks and then I guess I am done unless I go past due. I feel a bit peeved to hear from others who go once every 4 weeks in their pregnancy and by now, they are going every other week and then by the end, they go weekly. I feel...sad to say..neglected. I am supposedly high risk, but this is it. This is the doctor I am staying with. And BTW, his hospital is nasty and horrible.

The second doctor, the one I dumped today, and I posted about today on another post...I am just sick of everything in her office. There was a reason I left her in the first place. Her partner, who is always on, always has to make snitty remarks to me about my family size and the fact that I home school. She is rude. She does not listen. She is a complete jerk. With the last baby, I was so sick after the baby was born. She came in to see me postpartum and never ever looked up from her records to speak to me and turned and walked out not listening to me when I told her I was so sick. She claimed she was going to order something for me, but did not. Her bedside manner when in front of you seems so great, but I get the impression that behind your back, it is the opposite. She makes me wait hours for visits. Today, there were 4 people booked for the same time. Even though I was there first, the doctor arrived to the office late and the other patients were taken back before me. They are cold and rude and don't even smile when I come in. They act all put out by my existence. There are a lot of issues there from medications prescribed and my getting sick from them and the doctor telling me to keep taking them because she either did not pay attention or she just did not know about the side effects. Also, being ignored after my unnecessary csect last time and ending up almost dead. She can deliver at 2 hospitals and I had planned to deliver at one of them, do not like the other. So after todays fiasco, I left and told them it was ridiculous and rude to treat the patients this way. Then I called back and told them exactly how rude they were being. They said the doctor would call me back, but of course, she did not.
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I know I should not care about going in to the last 2 months of pregnancy with little to no prenatal attention. But it makes me sad and nervous and well, I hate hearing about everyone else saying how much they do with their doctors and all their milestones and excitements and weight gain and so on.
My story is not nearly as bad as yours! Are there no other OB's who are VBAC friendly?

I saw the doc at 8 weeks, 20 weeks, (and one in between somewhere), and at 24. I will see them again at nearly 30 weeks. after that, who knows? but my pregnancy has been going very well, with no complaints, etc. It's my second and I just don't have many questions, and the ones I do have, in regards to their VBAC protocols (they are supportive, but I'd like specifics), I wanted to wait until the 3rd trimester when we would have a clear indication of my chances of a successful VBAC (ruling out things like bad placental position, or baby's position, or something else that would risk me out of a vaginal birth).

I feel like I've hardly seen the docs in the practice and don't know them well, but friends of mine use the same doctors and love them. so we shall see.

Do you at least have a good doula that can advocate for or with you? or with your being high risk, can you see a Maternal Fetal Medicine doc instead of just an OB?
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I see a perinatal also...but he is not in charge of my care, he only does a sonogram once a month. I mean..he does not decide what care is needed, he just does what the OB would ask for. The OB..the 2nd one, that I got mad at yesterday, wants monthly sonograms. I don't have a doula.
VBAC doctors seem rare where I am. So I kind of stuck unless I want to be chopped open again.
Have you talked to the first doctor about your inability to get in touch with anyone covering for him when you had a fever and contractions and a UTI? Because not being able to get in touch with your OB is a pretty big deal. Is he even aware of those incidents? He's supposed to have someone on call covering for him when he can't be there. You should have been able to reach someone through his office. Even after hours. People go into labor outside of office hours. Have you been given an up-to-date and accurate set of contact numbers?

Also, what you describe does sound like a pretty skimpy schedule on the office visits. I guess it's great that you haven't been stressing yourself out arguing with him over an overly-interventionist set of protocols, but it sounds like he may not be monitoring your condition appropriately either. If he's seeing you that infrequently, how would he know if your blood pressure suddenly spiked in late pregnancy, just for example? That's not something that usually makes people feel sick until it gets extremely serious.

I'm sorry you've been getting the cold shoulder from your local docs.
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I have had a stillbirth (after a car accident, so no condition that would likely repeat) and a preemie that died (caused by being stuck in a labor and delivery with an incompetent doctor over a simple UTI and she induced me at 23 weeks, when she should not have, and I did sue for malpractice), and several miscarriages (those were just miscarriages, I am OLD now) and I am turning 41 in a couple weeks. So...I think that with this history, I would get watched a little closer. I actually have never had anything go wrong with pregnancy or delivery that was not doctor caused (except miscarriages, which were all pretty early, between 4-9 weeks). So, maybe the hands off approach is good. But, I was born with a kidney malformation and duplicated collecting system so I am prone to UTIs so you would think that he would want to see me more. Plus, I am older now, about to turn 41.
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I did call and complain to the main offices when the last time, his nurse said he had no one on call so I had to go to urgent care..for a UTI! Urgent care is not going to see someone at 26 weeks pregnant for a UTI. I had stabbing back pain and a headache. The next day, I called back and said that I think she was out of line to not see me and tell me there is no one on call when I have a UTI. She just was a jerk about it and refused to answer basically or speak to me. Then I called the main corporate offices it (it is a private practice but has a main business office that does stuff) and I complained to them. Within 10 minutes, another OB office called me to make an appointment to see me.

At least when I wait hours to see the first doctor, I know he is not booking 4 patients at once and then shoving me to the back of the work day after I wait hours to be seen. Plus, I know people drive up to 6 hrs to go to him because of his skill in vbac and how well known he is for that. (literally, met someone who drives 6 hrs for him! she stayed locally when she was in her last few weeks). The 6 hrs is uncommon, but lots of people drive 1-2 hrs to see him.

The second doctor, who actually delivered my last 2 babies but I never told her I was even pregnant until I had to because the vbac doctor was out of town and I had no one to turn to, is the one where her staff routinely schedules several women at once, acts very cold, and will push me behind others who were came in after me and were even scheduled after me. I can understand waiting because a doctor is in a delivery or because people drive from hours away because he is about the only vbac doctor in the metroplex. But I don't get making a patient wait for hours, even though she was there early even, while taking back other patients who were there well after her and did not have appointments first. I always wait at least 2 hrs to see her and not because she is stuck in deliveries. Her partner, who seems to often be on call for her, has made comments about my family size and my home schooling. And when a nurse at labor and delivery was rude to me the last time, last pregnancy I mean, she was nasty. She kept re-asking me the same questions, but was very rude. For example, she asked me, in an angry tone when I arrived "why are you here?" and I said my doctor called ahead, and she said she knows what the doctor had to say and she wants to know what I had to say. I said I have a fever and she said "you HAVE a fever? or you HAD one?" and I said "well, I had one when I left for here, but I don't know for 100% sure I still have one, it was not a high fever, it was only a little over 100" and she said "well which is it then, had a fever, or have one?" and she kept repeating herself. Then, while huffing and puffing, she got up from her desk and walked around to take me to a room and told me to change in to this gown and give a clean catch urine. Then she said "do you know how to do that?' and I said "yes" and she said "then tell me how" and I told her the proper way to do it. Considering I have had kidney issues since I was a baby, I have given clean catches my entire life and know what it is. But she just demanding and loudly says "you are wrong! You wipe from front to back and the back to front and do that several times...and then.." ok..I am not even going to finish that. Don't we all know you do NOT wipe from back to front? She goes out of the room, slamming the door behind her. I sat there and cried for a minute and told my dh we were leaving because this was nasty and I did not want to deal with her all evening. I was very upset. We left. The oncall doctor called and I tried to tell her what happened but she would not listen. She cut me off and said "Angela is one of the best nurses and she has been there a long time so you need to just go back and deal with it." She never even listened to what happened or considered that I had a valid concern! I ended up going home that night, with a fever, until I could be seen in the office the next day. Thank goodness it was not anything more serious than yet another UTI (which could turn serious if left untreated, but all worked out fine in this case, except that I was really upset about how I was treated, while sick, by the nurse and the oncal doctor).
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I was treated badly with my first DD's OB and switched at 38 weeks. Are you open to a homebirth? Ive gotten the best prenatal care from mine. she spends over an hour with me each visit.
I would switch. I think I know where you are, and I would switch in a heart beat. I have no idea why the ican group here seems so fixated on only two practices. You aren't getting the care that you need *right now* so I would switch switch switch. There are other dr's/midwives that take vbacs. I was with a good dr and then switched at 32 weeks to one of the recommended ones and now sort of regret it. Sorry, I gotta run!
I would like a home birth, but a home birth would be out of pocket and costs thousands of dollars where as a hospital birth is covered by insurance at 100%.
Have you tried calling a CPM and asking about working something out since you are a Vbac? I hope you find a new OB that clicks with you. Maybe a MW can tell you who would treat you well though.
I'm sorry you feel so neglected...and it sounds like you've been treated horribly. Hugs, mama.
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