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Never mind then - I was posting as you were deleting, so I'll delete too.
 

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Sorry, whatever it was, Phoebe. I hope you're feeling okay about it all. I also sincerely hope you didn't delete because you were afraid of being judged. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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Discussion Starter #4
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>kchoffmann</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7940627"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Sorry, whatever it was, Phoebe. I hope you're feeling okay about it all. I also sincerely hope you didn't delete because you were afraid of being judged. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"></div>
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No - not about being judged. I just didn't want to rehash it all again. And even now, I'm still on the defense with her. She said that it was better to be wrongly dx'ed as autistic than made to wait b/c that would be wasting precious time that a child doesn't have.<br><br>
Uh, yeah. I am QUITE aware of precious time being wasted b/c one doesn't have a diagnosis - I'm about to start my own site about it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
She was just reading everything I wrote the wrong way and taking it as a personal attack - which honestly, sort of hurt my feelings since I thought she knew me better than that. So I'm trying to step away from the whole mess and take a break, and am getting "It would be silly to take a break over this."<br><br>
Seriously, can't win. However, dark chocolate was on hand and hit the spot!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>peekyboo</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7941896"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Seriously, can't win. However, dark chocolate was on hand and hit the spot!</div>
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Thank god for that!<br><br>
I'm sorry - I hate it when people, especially someone I thought knew me, misunderstands me. And I'm sorry too she was insensitive considering all you've been through with Maura.
 

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well, what reset her off again on a tangent was that I dared to say that sometimes, kids are dx'ed autistic either too quickly or out of necessity and that contributes to rising numbers. Okay, probably not the thing to say to a woman who announced that her one dd's autism dx will most likely be "revoked" or something like that.<br><br>
But I was stating this from personal experience. I had a board of doctors look at Maura's records and instead looking at what my concerns were at the time (like not walking, not pointing, gross/fine motor skill stuff), they saw "almost two, not talking" and wasted four months of my time by sending us for an autism eval. That was my "diagnosed too quickly" part.<br><br>
And just last month, the ST at my kids grammar school was shocked that Maura hasn't been given a "generic PDD diagnosis" - her phrase - and that when she reaches the grammar school there, they may just label her as such so she can receive services. That was my "out of necessity" part. Because everyone agrees that Maura is not autistic. But the ST thinks it may end up being necessary to throw her under the autistic umbrella to receive services past a certain age. Which is a criticism against our system, that we have to label at risk kids falsely in order to allow them to receive the help they need.<br><br>
Of course, she interpreted all of that as me belittling the dx and making it seem like moms who get an autism dx are doing so as an "easy" way to get services. WTH? If I thought a dx of autism, even incorrectly, was an easy way to get services, well, Maura would have that label!<br><br>
I swear she was just reading everything I wrote as an attack on autism, which hurt since I've been nothing but supportive of her, so why she would think that is beyond me. Plus, she even said that she was probably misinterpreting what I wrote, but then still came down harsh on me anyway.
 

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This is such a good example of why I find it really hard to have moms with SN kids as friends. Maybe I haven't met enough, because I don't feel it here on this board. But irl it seems like most every SN mom I meet is ridiculously defensive or otherwise too screwed up by her kid's dx to be normal with me. It sucks.
 
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