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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
DH and I are just starting to talk about the possibility of adpoting. We have two bio children - both boys (3 1/2 and brand-new). I'm not going to have any more biological children (too old, pregnancy too hard on me, have had two unplanned c/s, etc.). Anyhow, I'd like a larger family and would like a girl....<br><br>
From my current, limited, understanding of things, in order to adopt an infant, which I would prefer, US adoption would be the only choice? Is it possible to adopt a specific gender when adopting an infant? If we were to do international adoption how old are the children typically when they come "home?" Do some countries have a faster process so that the children are younger when adopted? I am open to either type of adoption and race/ethnicity isn't an issue to me in terms of adoption.<br><br>
Sorry for the very basic questions. I"ve been reading the forums for a while and haven't quite picked up all the information.<br><br>
TIA!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wave.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wave"> Hi!<br><br>
If it's important to you to adopt an infant girl, then the best next step might be to call some of the larger agencies in your area and start talking about programs--domestic agencies, international agencies, or agencies that will do both. Ask them what kinds of programs you and your family would qualify for (based on things like your age, the number of children you have, how long you've been married, your health, the fact that you have two boys, etc.). Ask them the age of children coming home (not the age at referral) from various programs, and also how long the wait times are. Write things down so you can compare what various agencies say, so that if you find one that seems too good to be true, you'll be able to spot it. I don't know much about domestic adoption programs--but moms here, and agencies you call, will be able to clarify your questions on that front.<br><br>
From what I've heard recently, some Central American and African countries are open to parents wanting an infant baby...but other moms on this board will know more about that. Korea, where we're adopting from, used to allow children home at a young age (4-6 months), but the laws changed in January and now the youngest children are more like 10-18 months.<br><br>
Keep your mind open, too...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/innocent.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shy"> ...as you hear more about programs, and look into countries, you may find that you have a pull toward a country, a culture, or a program that only places older babies, toddlers, or children.<br><br>
Best of luck!
 

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i think -- depending on how young a baby you want to bring home -- that some internatioal programs would work for you<br><br>
my spelling SUCKS -- but guatomala would be one to look at.<br><br>
Aimee
 

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I would try to go to an event put on by one of your local adoptive families organizations, and see some of the children brought home. My dds were 11 and 14 months when we adopted them. Honestly, they were still little babies in so many ways.
 

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My daughter is currently 9 months old and we brought her home when she was 6 months old, from Vietnam. I have known others who have had younger babies (4-5 months) - any younger than that and you are tiptoeing in unethical territory and should run fast in the other direction <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> But it is definitely possible and not at all an anomaly to adopt a 6 month old baby from Vietnam.<br><br>
My daughter was still baby-baby. When we were handed her, she could not even sit up, we had to cradle her like a newborn. She grew really fast and is now about to take her first steps (eek), crawling, standing unassisted, talking, obviously sitting, etc. But I felt like I didn't miss much. It was like going through infancy at a break-neck pace. She was also young enough to still nurse easily although my milk never came in, even with drugs and a nursing preschooler, and now she is not really willing to nurse much anymore.<br><br>
I loved our adoption experience and am anxious to repeat it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks for all the replies! I certainly have things to think about. Adopting a 6-month-old is more comfortable to me than a 18 month of 2 year-old (for a variety of reasons). I didn't realize that children as young as 6-months were available through international adoptions.
 

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depends on the country (and adoptive parent age) -- some are over 2 before you can get a refereal as they have to be listed in the home country first, but others will make a referal at or before 6 months and can be home by 6 month to 9 month to a year.<br><br>
Ethiopia also has girls as young as 2 months at referal, so they could be home before their first birthday too. differnt Ethiopia run at differnt speeeds, i know some are slower, but i know an adoption SW who has just had two kids home from Ethiopia in well less that a year from date of parental application.<br><br>
but as PP remarked, there is a good chance the child is going to "seem" younger than they are.
 
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