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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
what should you know about wills, probate, deceased debts, etc...

I don't live there any longer (TX, my sister's family lives with her), but I know I will end up being responsible for paying the funeral expenses and straightening out mom's finances.

Her only asset is her home which she's leaving to both me and my sister and she has no life insurance. My sister and I have a good relationship (she's 15 years older), but her ils are like the board chair-persons of their lives (they've given a lot of support and demand a lot of control) and I'm more worried about them causing problems.

I'm hoping that my mom will put a buy out or sell clause for the house in her will to pay her final expenses; I don't think my sister would object as they have been wanting to move near her BIL for some time.
 

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Every state is different and it's complicated. I just went through this with my Dad in CA. I can say that my husband and I just created our wills, etc. and we live in NY. Most "general" wills go to the children and are divided per strata. But, you should consult an estate lawyer. You can also google NY Estate law. Sorry I'm not much more help than that. But, it's really worth the consult especially if you think the IL will be difficult. One suggestion we took was for my Dad to sit down and go through is wishes with those involved. That way it couldn't really be argued what his wises were.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
They are my sister's ILs, and have no legal claim to anything, but they may try and stir up trouble (if the house is sold they will certainly NOT be the realtors
, though my dh is very intimidating and perhaps will frighten them into silence
. It's a long and complicated history, but right now the ILs are trying to sell my sister's old house; until it sells they will be 'loaning' the money to my sister and bil to renovate mom's house.

A while back there was some talk of getting my BIL added to mom's house title as sister's ils were afraid of my getting a profit from a home improved by the renovations my BIL 'paid' for
.

My father built that house in 1957 for $13,000; he might just come back and haunt me if I let something like that happen. I do understand their point (though the MIL is in some trouble with her family for her handling of her father's estate, years ago
), but I'm not going to try to screw my sister.

When my mom comes I'll get the contact info for the lawyer who helps her out and get a referral if he is not a probate lawyer.

My GMIL passed recently; she has a complicated estate and it is only her excellent planning that kept the one family mischief maker from causing a lot of problems. She was a little younger that my mom, so this issue has been on my mind a lot lately, and those AARP commercials keep it fresh
:.
 

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I do know that unless someone has a Living Will you'll have to go through probate, which makes it possible for anyone to contest the will or claim rights to it. They may not win anything, but they can drag things out and increase your legal fees. Some people do it because they know you'll cave in the light of this.

Also, NY has estate tax that they place on a property sold as part of probate. It's pretty hefty I think. My father also died in CA so we ended up getting that money back, but it was like $6000 on a property that sold for $160,000.

Does your mother have a lawyer that she has spoken to in the past, or written her will with? It might be worth it to speak to them, and to ask about setting up a living will to avoid probate.

good luck! sorry I can't be f more help.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by murphysaangel View Post
I do know that unless someone has a Living Will you'll have to go through probate, which makes it possible for anyone to contest the will or claim rights to it. They may not win anything, but they can drag things out and increase your legal fees. Some people do it because they know you'll cave in the light of this.

Does your mother have a lawyer that she has spoken to in the past, or written her will with? It might be worth it to speak to them, and to ask about setting up a living will to avoid probate.

good luck! sorry I can't be f more help.
LWs are for end of life health declarations, but a Revocable Living Trust is a consideration. My mom is on the house title, was the life insurance beneficiary, and on the bank accounts so this wasn't an issue when my father died.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Emmeline II View Post
LWs are for end of life health declarations, but a Revocable Living Trust is a consideration. My mom is on the house title, was the life insurance beneficiary, and on the bank accounts so this wasn't an issue when my father died.
Living TRUST, that's right, not living will. Sorry!
 
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