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Why are people so fixated on this? I swear its the first question they ask, after "What's his name?"! I know they mean well, and want to make sure I'm getting enough sleep. But really, why is it such a huge deal?<br><br>
DS is a good sleeper. He wakes up at least twice during the night to nurse (usually around 3am and 6am). We cosleep, so this is NO BIG DEAL to me, half the time I barely even wake up. I feel lucky that he's such a good sleeper, I know moms that have a much harder time with the sleep issue.<br><br>
And what is "sleeping through the night" exactly? Seems like it means different things to different babies. Jackson gets a good 6-7 hour stretch going, except he goes to be at 7pm. So for him, that's a good night's sleep. For me, its only a couple hours after I go to bed! But like I said, it doesn't bother me at all.<br><br>
What do you all say in response to this question? It starts to drive me crazy after a while, and I find myself just lying to people and saying "YES" so I don't have to endure their looks of pity!<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/splat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="splat">
 

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I love what one of our peds wrote on ds' chart when he was close to a year old, "sleeps through the night, wakes to feed". <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
She happened to be supportive of bf and cosleeping, can you tell?
 

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me too, me too<br><br>
people just look at me like I'm demented or lying when I say that waking once or twice for bf at night is no big deal - in fact I'm more comfy with that than when he sleeps a long stretch and my breasts get overfull<br><br>
or with a kid who "sleeps through" but is wide awake and ready to start the day at 5 am, every day - that is torture to me and ds1 -a "good sleeper" - did it for 5 long years. I was more tired then than with ds2 who woke numerous times till age 3 but always "slept in" till at least 7 am<br><br>
so long as they go back to sleep without drama it's fine by by me
 

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My answer? "No, she's not. Are you?"<br><br>
:LOL<br><br>
My LLL leader knows I'm gonna go off when this comes up. Every person has a sleep cycle. No one "sleeps thru the night". We wake, shift, re-position, get a drink of water, get up tp pee, look at the clock and mutter '3 more hours' etc... I have never, Never slept more than six hours without waking to pee. My 3 year old has a bigger bladder than I. But she does wake in the wee hours to nurse. So what?<br><br>
My other answer? "Oh yes! We're all getting plenty of sleep!" It's two different version of the same truth. Don't let nay sayers pull you off course with your babe!
 

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The question we used to get all the time was, "Are you guys sleeping?" We would answer as enthusiasticaly as possible, "Oh yes! We've had no problem sleeping since day 1!" That usually throws people for a loop. I then gleefully tell them that I've nursed my son since he was born and that my husband and I co-sleep, thus allowing us to wake up feeling refreshed each morning. Even if in the beginning I would feel tired (what mom doesn't sometimes?!) I would never convey this. Besides, it's such a personal question and so negative also.<br><br>
I've read that sleeping through the night for a baby is more of an issue if your baby is in a crib and taking a bottle since then you would have to get up and respond to your baby's cries when you heard them, heat up the bottle, etc. I would just sense my son was getting ready to cry and roll over and nurse him before it even started. Voila! Problem solved and sleep for all. If only people understood how easy things could be!<br><br>
I love the post about how nobody really sleeps through the night. It's so true. Either an adult wakes up to use the bathroom, needs a drink of water, or both. Or like me, sometimes they wake up because they start thinking of a dream, a book, a song, whatever - and they can't turn their brain off for a little while. It's crazy to expect babies to sleep through the night. Because they don't. My neighbor recently told me, "I wanted my son to sleep through the night and I knew he could do it because he'd done it before." As if every night for anybody is ever the same and they have the same wants and needs as the previous night. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Well, my DD is 22 months old, and nobody's asked if she sleeps through the night for over a year now... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
(She doesn't, by the way, but it's OK)
 

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I too have learnt to be very selective about what I tell people. And I will lie with a straight face if it means people will get off my back. It's like if they sleep through the night, that itself is a measure of your parenting or how 'good' your child is.<br><br>
Someone on this site wrote once that if they don't have to get up with babe then they consider it a sleep through. I've hung on to that, Mieke and I don't get up at all but she stirs every couple of hours to nurse.
 

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That question bugs me, too. Why does it matter so much!? My answer depends on my mood and how much I feel like going into it with the person who asks. Sometimes I just say "no", sometimes I say "no, but I don't mind", sometimes I explain that we co-sleep so even though she doesn't sleep through the night I don't have to completely wake up to feed her and we go back to sleep quickly.<br><br>
I think this might be one of those questions people ask when they don't know a lot about babies but want to make conversation. They just don't know anything else relevant to talk about. Or mothers whose babies DO sleep through the night and they want to brag. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">:
 

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In <i>The No-Cry Sleep Solution</i>, the author says that the scientific definition of "sleeping through the night" for an infant is a 5-hour stretch. I was shocked to discover that my little one HAD been sleeping through the night for months, and I just didn't know it! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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When people ask, I've always said "she's a great sleeper". If possible, I usually try to work our cosleeping into the discussion b/c I like to promote it. I say something like "yeah, she only wakes to feed about twice in the night, but since we cosleep neither one of us really wakes for it, so it's a non-issue for us". People are usually surprised, and it's a chance for me to advocate for cosleeping. If I don't think the convo is going to go that far, then I just say "yeah, she's always been a great sleeper". Of course, my definition and theirs may differ! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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I always say "No" like its no big deal, they usually change the subject after that.
 

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one the otherside of the coin, i feel guilty telling people (mostly other new moms) that dd has been sleeping through (12+hours) since about 5 weeks. because then the moms feel like they're doing something wrong if their baby isn't doing the same thing. but i always add that dd is a thumbsucker, who prefers to suck her thumb at night than to nurse and that ds (2 3/4) still wakes me up several times a night. i always try to remind people who ask that all kids are different - some need more sleep than others, some prefer to self soothe while others prefer mommy and/or daddy help, etc.
 

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I find with certain people, i.e. my father, it is best to make him uncomfortable. For instance when he asked about the toddler bed in our room "it's not emotionally healthy" I just let him know that we don't have sex in front of her. now with the new baby and sleeping through the night, i plan on telling him that we are using it for birthcontrol and go one about that. My dad with never understand AP so this works for me.
 

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Sorry, this is one issue that really gets to me sometimes ... okay, most of the time.<br><br>
DD was early, and was in NICU for a month as a feeder/grower. None of the staff EVER expected her to sleep through the night, they fed her every three hours!! And they told me to expect her to wake up to eat about that often when we brought her home, if not more often during growth spurts. The ped's ask how she sleeps, but never made any critical comments when we didn't answer "Oh, all night long" (She does now, though.)<br><br>
Adults don't always sleep through the night, and we aren't dealing with things like hunger, teething pain, nightmares that we don't understand, etc. ARGH!!!!!<br><br>
BTW, we've co-slept since she was six weeks old -- and that's b/c took me two weeks to figure out that's what she needed.<br><br>
Best to all,<br><br>
JA (and DD Sofia 16 mos.)<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> Oops, just realized I didn't answer the original question -- we used to answer, "Sometimes."<br><br>
That seemed to satisfy most people, and if pressed, I might say something like, oh you know, teething, growth spurt, whatever, is probably waking her up.
 

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I hate this question!!!! I always just say "He sleeps fine! Wakes up very well rested!" I leave out the part where he's up to nurse 2-3 times a night because then it would go into the whole "He's still nursing!" and "He sleeps in bed with you!" conversations. My patience has run REALLY thin with these people. :LOL
 

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sorry I'm kinda bringing up an oldish thread, but I also Hate this question. Sometimes I think people just don't know what else to ask; it's kind of like a generic question.<br><br>
On the other hand, it does seem to be quite a fixation, and I agree that I often feel like with it comes a judgment about my parenting skills.<br><br>
In the past I've hesitated about lying because I feel like it should be acknolwedged that yes, taking care of a baby makes one tired and can be very taxing! Too many co-workers who think a new mom can just jump back to work after like a week's time with no concept of the exhaustion and commitment have made me loath to pretend it's all cuddles, quiet naps and roses.<br><br>
But then half the time if I say that I'm so tired and that he doesn't nap well, it's all suggestions, saying I just have to let him cry it out or what not. It can't be "fixed," I'm not clueless or uneducated about baby sleep needs and patterns, and I'm not even complaining, really. It's just the facts, and all I want is a little empathy, since they asked, not judgment or pity. I don't really view it as A Problem or an inconvience-- it's just life with a baby.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I don't really view it as A Problem or an inconvience-- it's just life with a baby.</td>
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Good point. There are certain things you implicitly agree to when you bring a baby into the world. One of them is getting less sleep. Fortunately, it doesn't last forever. So my 13-month old doesn't sleep through the night--so what? Someday she will, and until then I'll do what I have to do to gently guide her back to sleep. That's what being a parent is all about.
 

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Yeah, and I don't mean to imply that it isn't very problematic for some moms who are having sleep troubles. I guess I just object to seeing it as "a problem" when problem means that it's uncommon or reflects on the parent or something, which is what people seem to sometimes think. *sigh* probably not very clear today, I'm tired. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I certainly don't mean to imply that sleep deprivation isn't a problem either. There have definitely been mornings when I wake up feeling like I got about three hours of sleep, and those days aren't much fun. But, getting back to the original topic a bit, if anyone goes into motherhood (or fatherhood <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> ) thinking they'll be getting a full night's sleep anytime soon, they're in for a surprise! Babies (with a few exceptions) don't sleep through the night, and it's unkind and unfair to make parents feel bad when they don't.
 
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