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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Something has been developing at dd's school that has me hopping mad.<br><br>
She attends a language immersion school. It's the only one in the city, so if we want her to remain in this type of school, this is the only choice.<br><br>
This past year we were notified that they are going to make purchasing lunch a REQUIREMENT starting the 07-08 school year. Lunch is $3.50 per day. You can not opt out of it, even for health reasons/religious restrictions. They are supposed to be providing something for everyone. We have dd on the <a href="http://www.feingold.org/" target="_blank">Feingold Diet</a>, which basically means she doesn't eat anything artificial (colors, additive, nitrites, etc.). Based on what is being served this year, they cannot guarantee that all the foods are all-natural. I was sooo pissed off when I found out that they were going to make her eat school lunches, so I thought I might be able to make a difference by joining the Lunch Committee. Nope... all my pleas falls on deaf ears. I haven't been able to make a difference at all. I don't know what more to do. I hate to say it, but the school (and especially it's board) is full of really, really wealthy parents that really don't give a rat's a$$ about anything but their social clubs... certainly not their children's diet. I can't believe the crap I see kids eating when I go visit dd at lunch. I feel like I'm one single person in a sea of hundreds. I feel helpless. I resigned myself to the fact that we'll be paying for lunch, but I'm still sending food with dd for lunch next year. They can't keep me from doing that. We'll just tighten the financial belt a little more and pay for the lunch, but not have her eat it. We really want her in this type of multi-cultural, multi-lingual school.<br><br>
Well, this was the last straw today. I received an email that they are not going to allow kids to bring sack lunches on field trips anymore. They are going to have the catering company that provides school lunches to send lunches on field trips. We're not ALLOWED to send a sack lunch. Even THIS year, when the lunch program is still optional.<br><br>
I can't take this. I love the school and I love that dd is being taught in a foreign language (all day, every day). I love that after 1.5 years at this school she is already fluent in yet another language. But I am NOT going to let them tell me what to feed my child!!!!<br><br>
What can I do? I am so mad and upset, I just want to cry!! And I'm on the stinking LUNCH COMMITTEE!!!! And I still get ignored. ARGGGG!!!!!!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:
 

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Can you get a doctor's letter stating that your daughter cannot have their food? It seems like if they didn't allow it at that point it would be a liability issue for them.
 

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Just wanted to send a <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I am very particular about what my son eats, fwiw, he is basically a Feingold kid. I would be absolutely furious about this. I understand they want to provide healthy meals, but they are trying to impose their idea of healthy on you. I would take this as high as possible. Can you go to the school board?<br><br>
Oh, and $3.50 a day is outrageous!
 

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I'd start with the dr's note and then go to the school board, the state board of education and then an atty, if necessary.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
The doctor won't give us a note. She didn't put dd on the Feingold diet... we did. Dd hasn't been diagnosed with ADHD. She just gets night terrors and gets more hyper than usual when she eats something that's not on her diet.<br><br>
I feel that they are taking away a right of mine as her parent. I just don't know what to do. Before I was on the lunch committee, the school told me take up the issue with the lunch committee. NOW I AM ON THE LUNCH COMMITTEE!! They still won't listen. The board won't listen. Basically my choice is conform or we can leave the school.
 

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What are their reasons? Why would they care if you send a sack lunch?<br><br>
What have you done? (I know you joined the lunch committee but in addition). Have you scheduled appointments with the principal? Do it again and again. I have never heard of such a thing.
 

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If your regular doc won't write a note, can you take her to a naturopath or homeopath for a visit and see if s/he will write a note?<br><br>
If you're thinking of leaving, I wouldn't do it without first going as high up in the chain of command as possible. Even if you piss them off, you have nothing to lose if you would pull her out anyway.
 

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I can't beleive they can legally do this!! Is this a private school or is it within the public school system?<br><br>
Have you asked on the Feingold board for ideas/advice? Somebody there must have gone through something similar, or be a lawyer or know a lawyer or have some ideas for you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
It's a private school. The reason they are doing this is because the other "excellent" private schools do the same thing. Last year, school lunch was $5.00. They said that the only way to get school lunch costs down (to $3.50) was to have 100% participation... basically a bulk discount. So they are forcing everyone to pay the $750/year for school lunches next year.<br><br>
I've asked what we (Lunch Committee) are going to do next year for kids with allergies, those that keep kosher or halal, etc. and I get blank stares, and they move on to the next topic to be discussed. It is LITERALLY ignored.<br><br>
We don't have a principle. We have a director of pre-elementary, who has told me to direct my questions to the lunch committee. When I explain I am ON the lunch committee, then I get, "Well, then why are you talking to me?"<br><br>
Arhg!!!!!!
 

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As another Feingolder, that sounds so frustrating. DD goes to our tiny local public school and they have been great about helping keep dd on plan, and keep her from feeling left out.<br><br><br>
The bb sounds like a good start. Have you thoguth more about using the religus aspect? Are there families at the school that keep kosher or halal? I would first find them and approch it from a discrimination stance. If you can get an exemption for them, ten you have a better chance on finding a way out. Or what about kids with allergies? Are they completly free of any allergies and kids in the school have? WHat are they going to do about these kids. This is how we approach Feingold in our house. We just say dd has allergies to artificial colors, flavors, perservatives, apples, oranges, and pineapples. People are so concerened about allergies right now that seems to get lots more respect than, we are trying this diet to modify her behavior...., ect.<br><br>
HTH<br>
please let us know what happens.<br><br>
PS the school sounds so good on other aspects, I wish we had somwthing like that around here!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>velochic</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7352125"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It's a private school. The reason they are doing this is because the other "excellent" private schools do the same thing. Last year, school lunch was $5.00. They said that the only way to get school lunch costs down (to $3.50) was to have 100% participation... basically a bulk discount. So they are forcing everyone to pay the $750/year for school lunches next year.<br><br>
I've asked what we (Lunch Committee) are going to do next year for kids with allergies, those that keep kosher or halal, etc. and I get blank stares, and they move on to the next topic to be discussed. It is LITERALLY ignored.<br><br>
We don't have a principle. We have a director of pre-elementary, who has told me to direct my questions to the lunch committee. When I explain I am ON the lunch committee, then I get, "Well, then why are you talking to me?"<br><br>
Arhg!!!!!!</div>
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I understand wanting the best for your child, and wanting to provide opportunities and all of those things. And I understand the value of a multicultural, multilingual education in our global economy. but if the above post is indicative {sp?} of the majority attitude of the school, I would perhaps question which is better for your child, the immersion enviroment and private school setting, {since you mentioned all the private schools in your area do this}, or your daughter's needs and your own worldview. I would be concerned with a multitude of things: 1) that dd might also assimilate to the somewhat elitist attitude you're meeting with in your struggle over the lunch issue, 2) that the negative emotions or attitudes TPTB at her school might develop as you push for what's right not only for your dd but for all children with dietary issues, 3) if it's pre-elementary and they are already stonewalling you on something this important to the general health of the students, what might be the next 'trick' out of their pile?<br><br>
Could you talk to the lunch comittee members at the other private schools and get ideas and numbers, {statistics are good for getting peoples attention} ideas based on how they handle dietary issues, and numbers regarding how the mandatory lunch program has affected their bottom line, participation, enrollements and so forth.<br><br><br><br>
Sorry for the book. I've been doing spring cleaning and have WAY too much blood running through my brain right now.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>velochic</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7352125"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I've asked what we (Lunch Committee) are going to do next year for kids with allergies, those that keep kosher or halal, etc. and I get blank stares, and they move on to the next topic to be discussed. It is LITERALLY ignored.</div>
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As a mother with a child with anaphylatic food allergies, this would make me go through the roof. I see all sorts of liability issues here and I can't believe that the school is ignoring it.<br><br>
Is is possible that the school would offer an a la carte selection? If you got a menu ahead of time, perhaps you could guide your dd into what selections she makes each day.<br><br>
What I think is interesting about all of this is if the school is filled with wealthy parents, why does the school think that the parents would care whether or not lunch costs $5 or $3.50? Getting 100% participation for a reduced price? I don't see the motivation.<br><br>
Also -- another avenue to look into is to find out whether or not this private school receives ANY type of government funds. If they do, they might be held to accomodations made at public schools. It's possibly a long shot, but it might be one way for them to listen to you.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>velochic</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7352125"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It's a private school. The reason they are doing this is because the other "excellent" private schools do the same thing. Last year, school lunch was $5.00. They said that the only way to get school lunch costs down (to $3.50) was to have 100% participation... basically a bulk discount. So they are forcing everyone to pay the $750/year for school lunches next year.<br><br>
I've asked what we (Lunch Committee) are going to do next year for kids with allergies, those that keep kosher or halal, etc. and I get blank stares, and they move on to the next topic to be discussed. It is LITERALLY ignored.<br><br>
We don't have a principle. We have a director of pre-elementary, who has told me to direct my questions to the lunch committee. When I explain I am ON the lunch committee, then I get, "Well, then why are you talking to me?"<br><br>
Arhg!!!!!!</div>
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So, since this is their reasoning, do you have the option of paying the additional fee and still sending her with a lunch? Not saying its a great option, but since it really seems like this is about money for them, wwould they care if you paid and just sent her with a sack lunch anyway?
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>velochic</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7351884"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">The doctor won't give us a note. She didn't put dd on the Feingold diet... we did. Dd hasn't been diagnosed with ADHD. She just gets night terrors and gets more hyper than usual when she eats something that's not on her diet.</div>
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Maybe consult with a non-allopathic doc who would write the note?
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Shonahsmom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7352461"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">So, since this is their reasoning, do you have the option of paying the additional fee and still sending her with a lunch? Not saying its a great option, but since it really seems like this is about money for them, wwould they care if you paid and just sent her with a sack lunch anyway?</div>
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Yes, I do. And that is what we were planning to do next year. We already make some financial sacrifices to send her to this school. It just really upsets me that the families that care most about their children's health in this school are those that are making the financial sacrifices. It's the very wealthy that both make the decisions and couldn't care less what their kids eat.<br><br>
But what really made me mad most recently is that they just started this new thing where kids are not ALLOWED to bring lunch on FIELD TRIPS. They are saying that they cannot bring food from home for these trips, but have to eat the lunch provided by the caterers. That's the last straw.<br><br>
I suppose it doesn't matter where she goes to school... there is always going to be SOMETHING that I don't like, right? If it's public school, it would be large classroom sizes and standardized testing.
 

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can you contact the catering company directly? see if they will be able to provide food for kids on special diets?<br><br>
either do it on your own or see if you can be in charge of that for the committee....
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>velochic</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7359361"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
But what really made me mad most recently is that they just started this new thing where kids are not ALLOWED to bring lunch on FIELD TRIPS. They are saying that they cannot bring food from home for these trips, but have to eat the lunch provided by the caterers. That's the last straw.<br>
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Is it possible for you to chaperone field trips and dare them to rip her lunch out of your cold dead hands?
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>moondiapers</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7360417"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Is it possible for you to chaperone field trips and dare them to rip her lunch out of your cold dead hands?</div>
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I like this idea though I'm sure after the first time she'd be banned from chaperoning due to violating the rules and showing favoritism or some such...
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Kaitnbugsmom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7360518"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I like this idea though I'm sure after the first time she'd be banned from chaperoning due to violating the rules and showing favoritism or some such...</div>
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I think it depends on state law. In many you have the RIGHT to access to your child....so if you want to remove your child from school supervision at lunch time it's your perogative. They may ban her from chaperoning...but she could still come at lunch and take her child until lunch time is over then return her. Though it being a private school they could deny re-enrollement for the next year.
 
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