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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So I had an OB appointment today, and I went armed with my birth plan. This is going to be a planned c-section, and I just wanted it to be more personal, especially since both of my other children were planned to be natural hospital births that ended in c-sections anyways. I just wanted to avoid the feeling of having NO control over the situation, which as it turns out is exactly the way this OB wants it. I really like him, he's friendly, and all of my requests for the baby seemed reasonable to him, but when it came to my wishes for the birth, all he could say was "it's not gonna happen" over and over again. Now my head is pounding with the fact that I know if I don't find a new OB I will just be even MORE upset about this birth than the past two. He kept telling me crap about "federal law" and "policy" and I think it's a crock!

1. I asked that DH be present with me at all times, even during the administring of anesthesia- NO

2. Epi for pain relief- Maybe, maybe a walking epi

3. Catheter after epi- NO, can you believe that?!!! There's only so much time once anesthesia is administered!!!

4. Don't want arms strapped down- NO, I will put my hands in the incision or some crap, what the hell!!!!

5. Would like the option of seeing birth- NO, can't lower screen because it is a steril area! WTF??

6. Like to take pictures of birth- NO, against the law to take pictures of docs and nurses without consent. I even asked if it was vaginal would i be allowed pics, he said NO, federal law!!! My A**!

7. Stitches instead of staples- NO, he did have a good reason for that though and I would have been willing to let it slide.

I didn't even go through the rest of it with him, no medical students, allowing conversation, seeing baby after birth (he said he would lift him over screen and show babe to me), pillow under head (no point, I'm not allowed to see ANYTHING anyways).

So now I've got myself all worked up with a headache and feel sick to my stomach. This is going to be my last baby, and I just wanted things to go right! Why can't it be my decision??? I know I am not going to be able to find an OB or hospital in my area (Detroit) that will be willing to do any of this! I hate this!!!! All of my births have been completely up to the damn doctors, and I 'm sick of it! Whatever, now I'm just sitting here crying! Thanks in advance for the support!

Now I've gotta go deal with more doctors about my daughter in a couple of hours, they better say what I want to hear, or they will get the brunt of my morning appointment and my concerns about my daughters developemental delays! I HATE DOCTORS!!!!

Blessings,
LeeAnn
 

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Wow! I'm so sorry that you had to go through all that with him!
Those are not unreasonable requests! I think I would be looking for a new ob. I hope everything works out the way you want it to!
 

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LeeAnn.. I was exactly where you were at a little over a month ago. Except my battle was for a natural, vaginal birth. Everything I wanted was a big "NO" from my doctor, she wouldn't even listen and I walked out of there so upset. I know it's hard to believe that you can find a doctor out there that will suit your needs but it's possible. I switched because this one is also my last and dammit I just want a birth that I am in control of.. and I actually found a doctor that would listen. Don't give up hope on having the birth you want mama.. look into the Finding Your Tribe area here and see if someone in your area has had similar circumstances. Sometimes you get some really good advice.
You should be in control of what is happening to your body and unless the doctor can give you a good reason why not then argue it.. also look into your laws on the things he/she said no to because of the law. It's quite possible that it's just their "policy" (I hate that sort of blanket excuse) and it will be hard to get them to see it your way. Anyway.. I'm rambling but know that we are here to support you and help you in whatever way we can.

Another idea call some midwives in your area and see if they can't give you a reference to a sympathetic OB. Good luck!
 

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I would look for a new OB. From personal experience of enduring a pregnancy with an OB that I never felt comfortable with and then when it came to the birth was a disaster. Never again. This was my first pregnancy, and it ended with him saying that I needed to hurry up or his wife was going to be mad at him for being late for dinner. He finished up with taking the baby out with forceps while I was deathly afraid the whole time envisioning my child paralyzed for the rest of their life. I ended up in the hospital 3 days later due to tearing and an infection where my fever went up to 104 and I was halucinating. I wish I had fired him on the spot. He was also upset with my baby's doctor who was the one who admitted me the second time and thought I didn't need to be in the hospital (this was right before I got very very sick with my uterine infection.) I ended up very, very sick and had I not been in the hospital at the time it could have been a lot worse.

I am sorry to ramble. My point is that you need to get a doctor that will do your wishes when it comes to the time of the birth a lot of doctors just take over and due whatever they want to make it easier for them.
:
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks everyone. He even said that none of my requests were unreasonable, which made me even that much more upset. I will post in FYT and see if anyone can help or point me in the right direction. I also like the advice of calling some midwives in my area to see if they can point me in the right direction. I'm just already stressed out as it is, and this is just one more thing on top of it. Oh, and I also gained 13 pounds in the last month, even with watching everything I eat and getting excersize! Argh! Thanks again.
 

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Hi LeeAnn, I'm in Ann Arbor, and there are two groups of CNMs that deliver here and may have suggestions about OBs in the Ann Arbor or Ypsilanti area. I don't know where in Detroit you are, but if you're on the west side, maybe a short drive to AA may be worth checking out. One group is with U-M hospital, and the other's group is IHA and delivers at St. Joseph. I go to the midwives at IHA/St. Joe's.

I am sorry that your OB is being so inflexible, your wishes do sound reasonable to me!
 

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Not in your ddc, but I happened to see this post. I'm glad you are going to look for a new OB. I just wanted to reassure you that it is possible to find someone. I went through a similar situation my first time around and ended up switching docs really late in the game - like week 30-32 or something like that!! I'm so glad I did - it was worth the hassle!
 

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That's baloney and I'm so sorry.

I would refuse to have the catheter until after you have the epi. It hurts and I'd want to have the epi first. There is NO reason why you can't wait. I've had it after with both of my c/s. I also had the drape pulled down while they pulled the babies out so I could see.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by EarthMommy80 View Post

1. I asked that DH be present with me at all times, even during the administring of anesthesia- NO

3. Catheter after epi- NO, can you believe that?!!! There's only so much time once anesthesia is administered!!!

4. Don't want arms strapped down- NO, I will put my hands in the incision or some crap, what the hell!!!!

5. Would like the option of seeing birth- NO, can't lower screen because it is a steril area! WTF??

PLEASE RUN AS FAR AWAY FROM THIS OB AS POSSIBLE!!!!!

I just had my big question meeting with my OB yesterday and i was told that being there for the epi depends on the anesthesiologist preferance,

my arms will not be strapped down (she said they only strap the arms down when it's an emergency with general)

I could see the birth via having someone hold a mirror if i would like and there is room for them to stand next to the docs without getting in the way

Cath is ALWAYS done AFTER the Epi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is just total crap!!

please find a new OB this guy SUCKS and i promise there is someone better out there for you! or you could come to syracuse and i'll refer you to my OB....she is wonderful!
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Yeah, I am definatly going to look for a new OB. My only problem is that I don't have the time or transportation to be running around town interviewing people. I am not keeping him as my OB regardless though.

sleet76, Ann Arbor is way to far. But thanks for the advice.
Emma's mommy, I wish I had your OB.

He was just not willing to make any accomidations. This is a BIRTH, not just a surgery. My other two were treated that way, and I refuse to let it be the same this time around.

Thanks for all your support!
 

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Sounds like you're on your way to remedying this but really if this jerk is making you feel unreasonable, and it sounds like he is, really keep in mind that you are not, you have the right to have your birth the way you want to and he is only being manipulative because he can. Oh the times I've talked to mums who were convinced that that they had to do what the doctor said or they/the baby would die when it just wasn't true.
:
Just get out
 

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That's crazy! My first birth was a c-section.

I did not have my arms strapped down, the catheter was put in after the medication or must have been because I didn't feel anything, and I definitely had stitches.

I can't see why they won't let someone position a mirror or something so you can see your baby being born. That is so awful. I hope you find someone else.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Yeah, so I have made a bunch of phone calls today, and nothing looks promising. There is no way of doing a VBA2C at any of the near by hospitals, and no one wants to take me on as a new patient, even after I agree that the c-section is necessary. I just don't know what to do! Now I'm just upset about the whole thing all over again. I mean common, if he would at least agree to the catheter after the epi and allowing pictures, I would just say fine! But I can't agree to let this be just another surgery, why doesn't anyone get it?
 

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From what I understand in regards to pictures and/or video it is hospital policy, and of course each OB can choose how they follow those procedures.

Many do not want any pictures during labor and delivery - particularly delivery. And one that we interviewed with wouldn't allow them at all, even once the baby is born, if a staff member was in the picture. You would have to ask them to move out of the way and then take it. Needless to say we didn't go there!

It's really sad that all the sue-happy people have ruined this for everyone else.
 
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