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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Here Liam and I sit for the fourth night in a row. DH just told me to put him in his bed and let him Fing cry. I swear I am at the breaking point. Liam is fed, diapered, and very very awake. He has only slept a total of eight hours in the past 36. He only fusses if I put him back in his bed. Am I crazy? Am I really "enabling" him to control me, or am I doing the right thing. Now, I am told that DS is not the only one that is getting hard to live with. Yeah, thanks. Thats support. I havent asked for anyone else to get up with him, I let Dh sleep and snore to his hearts content, when what I really want to do is smack him.
If he didnt just let Liam cry and had more than 2 min. of patience, I would ask for help. His way of responding to a cry is to tell him to "damn it, shut up already." Really big help, huh?
sorry, needed to vent and cry a little to someone. No one to listen here but Ds, and he has heard it all already.
 

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I know how hard it is when all you want to do is sleep and your child just doesn't want to. And your DH can't/won't take over so you can get some rest.

No, you aren't enabling your child to manipulate you, you are caring for him in a loving and responsable way. Making him CIO would not solve his sleep problems, nor would your or DH get any more rest!

Sorry you're going through this. I feel your pain.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
thanks, 4:35 and he is finally asleep. I am going to sleep in his room, I give up on Dh.
that long distance hug is nice, thanks for being there.
 

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Hi glad to hear you are getting some rest. You are meeting your baby's needs and that's what matters. You wouldn't be sleeping if your babe was cio either.
hugs to you for being a strong momma with no support.
 

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I have so been there. Totally understand mama! Just wanted to drop in and give you a little bit of hope that things WILL get better! And you WILL get sleep one day. Sorry your dh is being totally clueless and obvlivious to your emotional state right now, my dp was the same way. For the immediate time being just sleep sleep sleep with your baby and try to arrange for someone other than yourself to take care of whatever needs to be done in the house. What's important is your baby is taken care of and for that, he needs a happy, well fed, sleep-nourished mommy.
Just pamper yourself and know that you are loving your baby the way he needs/wants to be loved. Your efforts WILL pan out! When you have had some sleep and are in a decent state of mind, sit down and have a talk with your Dh about WHY you don't want to "just let him cry" and WHY it is important to be empathetic. Maybe he was treated that way when he was an infant? Maybe that is what he grew up with? Let him know that you just want your baby to know that he is loved and that his needs will be responded to. At first my DP seemed to brush it off, but later, I caught him being more empathetic and compassionate towards ds and I think my ways have rubbed off on him.

Here's another


Sending sleep vibes to you!
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
well, we were up again at 5:30, 6:28, and seems we are up for the day at 8:10. The bottom two teeth have broken through the gum, and I do not see or feel any evidence of any more teeth. I swear I do not know why this little guy is so awake these past few days. I know he needs more sleep to be healthy, but it is like he is fighting it with every cell in his body.
of course, everyone else is asleep. DH looks to be no help. DD is only 13, I feel like she is getting the really short end of the stick lately, but I have to take care of the baby. I am sure that she wishes that she were somewhere else too.
Thanks for being out there Mommas, and if you have any sleep solutions, please send them my way.
 

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Hey Liki.. we had sleeping issues here tonight as well. It's really tough, especially when they deviate from their usual behaviour. Maybe your baby is learning something new? Maybe he is sensing something being "off" in his environment? I know my daughter (11 months) is very easily distracted and any little thing grabs her attention... maybe that is the case for you as well?

I'm not sure, but I do really hope you get the rest you need soon! Big hugs.
 

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It always seemed to be 3am for us too... Just the way babies are wired I guess. It did get better though and now those mornings are just a distant memory (very soon to be refreshed though). I feel so sorry for, you at least I had my DH half asleep and with a very damp shoulder, on the sofa with me at those times. It must be so incredibly tough to deal with it on your own.
Like other posters said, sleep when your baby sleeps and make sure you get as much rest as possible. Your DH is an adult and able to take care of himself but your babe is not. I am also sure your DD will understand too. Hang in there it will get better.
 

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I know that being up alone in the middle of the night with a crying babe really sucks. It sounds like your little one was teething pretty badly! Have you tried some of the homeopathic remedies yet? They have really helped out my dd quite a bit to calm down when she couldn't get to sleep.

I agree with the pps that suggest talking to your dh. Yelling doesn't really help, but having some empathy that your little one is just expressing his feelings and needs in the only way he knows how, really goes a long waytowards understanding. I wish you the best of luck, and I hope you can lay down with your babe today for some naps so you both get some rest.

You are doing the right thing, and are a wonderful mama for having such patience. Hang in there, it will get better!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
I have asked for help, but DH says that I do not want the help that he offers. No, I do not think that him telling me to go to bed while he sits there and just lets Liam cry is helping. My Grandmother is to old to help, and everyone else in our family thinks I should let him scream so he will "learn" that it will not get him picked up and he will go back to sleep.
We have tried Hylands teething tablets, and even Tylenol. I cannot find rescue remedy in our area.
 

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Camilia (made by BIORON- box has blue and pink horizontal stripes on it) worked wonders when my DS was teething.

Are you cosleeping? Sounds like it might help if you aren't already...I know my DS is quick to wake without the warmth of another body near by.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
is that something that you can get at a drug store? The closest Natural Foods is 45 miles one way. Also can it be used in conjunction with the Hylands, or in place of?
The last few nights I have been sleeping with him. Ususally he sleeps in the crib right up next to our bed (side car). We have temporarily moved into the other room so that DH can sleep so we are co-sleeping. It does not seem to make a difference though. When he wakes, he goes immediately into full crying, arms flailing mad. If I try to snuggle him up to me, he arches his back and gets even madder. He will not nurse laying down, so we have our favorite rocking chair in the room.
 

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Some big stores around here cary Camilia, but it's not in your average convenience store or anything. I just finished reading a post about camomile tea....how old is your babe??

Are you finding that there's anything that comforts him? For three nights, whatever is bothering him must REALLY be bothering him! Is he fussy throughout the day too??

Do you have a sling?? I know 3am walks around the block in the sling have saved my sanity more than a few times!
 

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Just thought of something- could the lack of your DH be disrupting things?

I'm just thinking of the few nights we've spent away from DH, DS would be nursing, roll over to look at where DH should be and get a little confused, sometimes he'll wait 'til DH is in bed to go down for the night too...unless he's incredibly tired.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
He is almost 7 months. He weighs 17lb 11oz. He has been fussy during the days also, but amazingly today seems better. He has nursed better today. Not so much of the arching back after only 3 minutes. We actually had a 30 min. nursing session around 7:30.
We moved out of the room after this started, DH was being really grumpy and negative. Not a good vibe to sleep with. I, think though that we might try again tonight and see how it goes.
Thanks again everyone for suggestions, and most of all a supportive ear.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
I just thought of something. The only thing that is different in the house is that we started to use the woodstove for heat on Sunday. I dont know how that would affect him though. We use humidifiers, and there is minimal smoke smell in the house. Just a thought.
 

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Try to help your son learn how to nurse laying down. Perhaps you can do it for napping or try it when he is awake. That way, you will be able to rest a little while he's nursing. One other thing that worked really well for us was not getting out of bed at night. My son (and all of them did this) would wake at night, but the light didn't go on and we didn't get out of bed. I would nurse as much as he wanted, and eventually he would go back to sleep.

Hope tonight is restful!
 
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