[Emilie]

I have not been watching the news- but caught some of it tonight.
A friend also shared it with me.
I am so sad for the girl and her family.
I am so angered we live in a world where these things happen every day.

I went on a trip just like the one the girl was on to Mexico.

This could've been me or any number of my friends. A girl was raped on our trip by one of the college guides. We were 18.
Just wanted to say- pray for this girl and her family...

Emilie

 

[stayinghome]

Is she alive?

 

[Emilie]

they do not think so
Emilie

 

[Gemini]

What happened??

 

[Emilie]

OK- from what I understand.
18 year old girl- graduation trip to aruba- travel agencies organize them- groups from schools go- travel agency provides the chaperones. There is activities and scheduled bars( tho it is not madatory to attend) chaperones are mostly twentysomethings.
THis girl goes on a trip to aruba- goes out one night- leaves with two men- never shows up again- this was the end of May. The men are in custody but say they did nothing to her- there story is not holding up at all.
I have limited knowlege as it is just too hard to watch.
That is what I know about it.
Her parents are in Aruba now.
Emilie

 

[Gemini]

Awwww. I'm such a sceptic. She would have turned up by now.

 

[Maeve]

And now they've arrested (or are holding?) the 3 male students that she was seen leaving the bar with. They've already arrested 2 security men.

So sad.

 

[SharpieMarker]

I think it is very sad too, but I also think a trip like this is inappropriate, despite the fact that the kids may be 18. I had to fight tooth and nail to go to the Jersey Shore for 2 nights when I was 18, and it was only 45 minutes away from my home. Whatever happened to Project Graduation, or simpler means of celebrating?
I hope this young woman is safe somewhere, but I think we've all heard too many of these stories to truly expect that.

 

[loving-my-babies]

Yes, I'm also not feeling positive about this whole thing- about finding her alive, but I think everyone has hope, we've seen crazier things happen (Elizabeth Smart, for example) I hope they find her, hopefully alive, and if not, for their parents, family and friends to have peace in their hearts

 

[mamadege5]

This is so sad. I am praying for this girl and her family. However it has cemented the fact that I will not allow my dd to go on such trips. Her school sponsors a trip every yr to I forgot what island to a research lab, trips to Italy or other countries and she tells us last night her homebase teacher wants to take them to NYC senior year. That I might allow.....if I go as chaperone!

So sad but these things happen in our home towns/ countries every day but it takes a foreign trip and a pretty girl to get so much attention also. A man arrested here on 37 counts of rape of minors and he had prior arrests for the same! WTF?

 

[loving-my-babies]

I also want to add, like a psychologist said on CNN last night. We shouldn't blame the girl or the chaperones or the parents. we do that because we want to blame someone in order to not have to accept that this CAN happen to everyone, to me or you or my child or yours and not just in Aruba.

 

[SharpieMarker]

Quote:

Originally Posted by loving-my-babies I also want to add, like a psychologist said on CNN last night. We shouldn't blame the girl or the chaperones or the parents. we do that because we want to blame someone in order to not have to accept that this CAN happen to everyone, to me or you or my child or yours and not just in Aruba.

There's a difference between blaming the girl, chaperones, or parents - as no one in this thread has done - and simply asserting one's opinion that a trip like this one isn't/wasn't a good idea.

 

[nonconformnmom]

I, too, find this very sad and certainly scary as the mother of a teenager who graduates next week and will be going on a very similar trip. Her trip is not far from home, but it is a graduation beach trip.

I just wanted to say that it is all well and good to say that as a parent of a baby or toddler that you won't allow that child to do such things when they are a teen. However, when they reach 16, 17, 18 years old one may very well see things differently.

 

[DesireeH]

Quote:

However, when they reach 16, 17, 18 years old one may very well see things differently.

I agree. Plus I was married when I was 18......if I had wanted to go to Aruba, I would have. Sadly, bad things can happen to anyone of any age. I hope they find her alive.

 

[paquerette]

I have to wonder how people think they're going to stop an 18 year old from going on a trip? Is the legal age of majority different in other states? Here, if you tried to physically stop your adult child from going somewhere, you could be charged with wrongful imprisonment.

As unfortunate as this situation is, I think the odds are still better that a person would not be harmed going on an arranged chaperoned trip than if they just went with a handful of their buddies.

I guess your best bet is to raise your children to know how to keep themselves safe.

 

[Stayseeliz]

You can stop your child even when they're 18 if you don't think they're ready to go on a trip like this on their own..Don't give them the money to go..Most kids that age don't have money to jet off to Aruba..

What bothers me is the student to chaperon ratio on this trip was supopsedly something like 20-1. How in the world is one chaperon supposed to watch over 20 kids. Parents should check this type of thing out before letting their kids go.

I'm not blaming anyone..But hopefully this incident will make people think twice about these types of trips and make them safer.

 

[nonconformnmom]

Do 18-year old "kids" have chaperones 24/7 when they go away to college? How about when they drive 2 miles down the road to work for their job? These kind of tragedies can happen anywhere, anytime. I agree with the previous person who said perhaps the best bet is to raise our children in a way that empowers them to protect themselves and make wise choices.

 

[eksmom]

What I don't understand about this situation is why she went off by herself in a car with 3 men she'd only known at most a few days. On a trip like that, even if she was 18 (and I'm willing to bet not all the kids were 18, as they were high school seniors), why not have a rule or suggestion that you stay with at least one other person you know from home? To me that's just common sense.

Now, if something was slipped into her drink, that's a slightly different story. Still, I can't imagine watching my friend go off by herself and get into a car with people who are essentially strangers and not hearing some kind of warning bells going off in my head.

 

[kate~mom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stayseeliz What bothers me is the student to chaperon ratio on this trip was supopsedly something like 20-1. How in the world is one chaperon supposed to watch over 20 kids.

just to be devil's advocate - she is an adult.

my gut instinct when i heard aboutthe story was the same - but then my dh pointed out that i went to europe multiple times in hs on school trips, and at 18, was in college, and on spring break completely unchaperoned.

i wonder if this thread would be different if she was 21. i don't think some magical maturation occurs ver the 18-21 timespan.

 

[Stayseeliz]

As for kids being alone driving two miles to work when they're 18..I don't think that's quite as dangerous as going to a foreign country where the legal drinking age is lower than it is in the States..High school students (whether they're 18 or not) usually don't mix too well..