congrats on your pg. i lost a baby at 8-1/2 weeks late last year. i'm due the same time as you and i still talk like that too. i long to refer to my pg in concrete terms but i'm too afraid.
for now i just concentrate on each day and try to remind myself that i am pregnant today so that i can enjoy each day that i am pg. i hope that as time goes by we will be able to relax some and *really* enjoy being pg without the worry.
You are not alone, being pregnant after a loss is sooo scarey!
We lost our second baby, at 31 weeks, she was stillborn in March 2000.
Then our 3rd child also, sadly was miscarried at 7 1/2 weeks just this last december.
I am currently pregnant again, 15 weeks, and still scared.
I don't think it will go away.
Just know that there are others out there who have been where you are, and who are where you are, just reach out and we'll reach back!
Oh Sweet Monica,
My heart aches for you and Stephanie...and any other mama's who are on the same journey...Many blessings to you all.
I am not there yet with TTC..however...I know that it is right around the corner...We have planned for the end of September...I suppose we will see.
I do know that my second pregnancy, which gave us our first born in 1999...that was such a scarey pregnancy for me..I was told to expect the worse with my pregnancy with Gavin. I followed my "gut" and ignored what they (doctors) said...I found a midwife I fell in love with her...and had a perfect pregnancy...to soothe my fears and overwhelming concerns...the midwife saw me every two weeks instead of once a month in the beginning...soon I started to see her every week until he was born at a whopping 10 pounds...
So...there is hope...I know it gets old hearing that...I just want to share with you that we all can make this ever so difficult journey...together...
Monica, I know how you feel, it's next to impossible to let go of the fear. If you're interested, come join Denise and I on the Feb due date thread--there are MANY of us on that thread who have miscarried before--so we're a good group to be together and hold each other up.
Hoping you are finding ease with each other - I don't remember anything concrete really helping me lose the fear with my second pregancy. I do know that I felt really comfortable with my midwife and this allowed me to ask for what I needed. I could go in for more checkups etc. so I highly recommend finding someone very supportive. I also know that I tried very hard to focus on the present - and still feel this way as I take care of my baby boy... I was a massage therapist and received lots of bodywork during my pregnancy and I found this very calming for my system which (I believe) helped me rewire the fear program in my body. Didn't go away entirely but it wouldn't trigger a huge heart pounding fight or flight event anymore. Maybe this could help? It's great to take the time for yourself anyway if you can find a way to afford it! Peace, ggma.