<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br>
I am in the pits with you sister.<br>
I laugh at how I "thought" my DS was high-needs. This little girls has shown me a thing or two about what that <b>really</b> means.<br><br>
I just keep telling myself that she is pushing me to be a better, more creative, more patient mother. I will come out better for it on the other end...when I get there...
I just want to know how I can get a shower....<br><br>
Once I am clean and dressed and have a sling on - we can handle the day (as long as it isn't overstiumlating...)...<br><br>
But - I really need that shower...
It is hard. And DS is now 4 and still really high needs. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> But you can do it.
I had my high needs one first. And the second one is SO SO easy in comparison. And she's a bit of a handfull, but it isn't the same thing as the intensity of a high-needs baby. It's probably harder to have the high needs one second, as you have another little one who needs attention at the same time.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> yup... I laugh to myself when I see someone with a mildly fussy or colicky baby describe her as 'high-needs'... I just want to tell them, YOU HAVE NO IDEA. Come spend ten minutes at my house & you will see what a 'high-needs' baby is!!<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I don't think I managed the daily morning shower thing until DS was almost a year old!! Sometimes the swing would keep him calm for exactly 1 minute 35 seconds... so if you can take a super-quick shower........... And I would never say 'just let him cry' but honestly, if you need to take a 3-minute shower to be able to face the day (and I'm totally with you on that one!) and there's simply no other way -- don't feel guilty for taking a couple minutes to care for yourself so you can better care for your baby. Do your best to keep him happy while you're in there, and just do it. Can your older kid help with the baby while you shower etc.?
Yes- I always said that DS1 would have made the pefect <i>second</i> child. He was your textbook average baby. Of course, he comes with his own challenges (such as sensory issues)...but I could have a shower and use the toilet and eat cause he didn't mind where you put him down - or for how long you put him down for...so I could <i>do</i> all those things and then some! But this one wants to be held...all-the-time! And its a good thing we already co-sleep cause this one wouldn't let it be any other way! And I will live and we will get through this... But could I at least do that clean and dressed for the day? lol The rest of the day, we can handle! When we are out and he is in the sling - he is happy! But I have also had major abdonimal surgery and I keep getting ill...I really need to make sure I don't over-do it...<br><br>
How did any of you shower? I can't shower at night cause I get really sweaty and nasty and I also have thrush at the moment - so I really have to wash my lower bits in the morning. I am learning the art of how to put him down when he is asleep once in 'limp-limp' mode...so that he doesn't wake up and we have to start back at square one....which allows me to get things prepared for the future (like our clothes, lunches, etc) but that usually happens later in the day/evening. Makes some things easier but he is SO awake and will stay awake for three+ hour stretches...it is SO hard to get him to sleep as he is just SO alert...but then so easily overtired and overstimulated because he is a newborn after all!<br><br>
Is a shower just too much to ask for? lol
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Ann! I had the high needs one first too. What worked with him was taking him into the shower with me. Wrap a handtowel around him so that he doesn't slip out of your arms while wet. You might not be as effective at cleansing but you can get clean with only one hand!! Wash your hair at night!<br><br>
You will survive and figure it all out. It does take creativity and patience and sometimes a few minutes to regroup while baby is in a safe spot is NOT a bad thing.
I understand, I have to have my shower. When DS was little I laid him on the rug in the bathroom with a toy in his hand. He'd throw it down and work on rolling. Then once he rolled I'd put toys around. Having him right there allowed him to be somewhat happy on most days, sometimes he'd cry, but I got my shower and I'd be a happier mom.<br>
Now, he's ten months old and he likes to stand at the side of the tub and watch me. Sometimes he's ok, sometimes he cries. Now though, he likes the wrong side of the tub and gets soaked. He's so active that he's even climbed into the tub, so I may just have to give up on my lobster showers and bring him into the tub. I'm a bit tired now of the soaking wet floor because he insists on pulling the shower curtain out. I try to hold it in with my foot, but his strength wins easily.<br>
I'd say get your shower what ever it takes, a few minutes of a grumpy baby and a happy mom for the rest of the day is better than a few minutes of happy baby and the rest of the day he'll have a tired, not awake, grumpy mom. I know.
I would get him settled, nurse him and I would strap him in the rocking chair in the bathroom and have the quickest shower ever. Now he's figured out how to escape the chair so I don't get to shower anymore. But could you try something like that?<br>
One trick was to give him an 'exciting' toy to play with, not a real toy that doesn't seem to hold his interest at all.<br>
A favourite was an empty moisturiser bottle, stainless steel bowl filled with something to make it rattle, a clean brush, etc.
To shower I would make sure ds was in a 'good' mood (fed, and just up from a nap- in my arms, of course!) and I would strap him in a bouncy seat next to the tub. Then I could quickly (or if I was lucky, not so quickly <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> ) clean up. He could see me and I could sing/ talk to him and keep him entertained. When he got older (around 5-6 mo) I could give him a new'toy and he'd be ok... Now, he wants to be mobile so strapping him into anything doesn't work...I just have to wait until dh is home.. So if he works late sometimes I'm a stinky mama... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> hugs to you! I'm in the thick of it, but I'm sure there is light at the end of the tunnel....
I had the same problem with showers. I got a baby bath insert like <a href="http://www.walmart.com/ip/Summer-Infant-Comfort-Bath-Support-Pink/8465715" target="_blank">this</a> and just put it on the tub floor and brought baby in with me. I could get a few extra minutes of hot shower and didn't worry about baby slipping out of arms while washing. Good luck to you mama!
DS 2 is eight months old. It is about quarter to ten in the morning, and he's just woken from his very brief snooze (I chose eating over showering this morning.) He is my third, and my first overwhelmingly 'high needs' child.<br><br>
He is however, slowly improving in terms of tolerance. Small steps, but there is hope. He will sometimes nap for a few minutes on his sheepskin (if the stars align just right) and very occasionally, he is happy to look at interesting toys on his own. It is much much easier than it was even a month or so ago.<br><br>
And, now he's awake and upset, so I'll cut this off here. I had a great 15 minutes of down time though, and soon enough, you will too.
I shall try those shower suggestions. We just got a swing I won on ebay - it didn't work this morning.<br><br>
He has now been awake for the past <b>five</b> hours! He hasn't been crying or upset ... but its a chore keeping him content for that amount of time. If he doesn't want to go to sleep - he will NOT go to sleep. And just when I think hes about to drift off (in arms or sling)...he poops or its time for some boob juice again! lol Hes a 'sucky' baby as wel but so far will only take my finger or get pissed off at the breast because he wants to suck for comfort - not food. I wish he could self soothe - even a tiny bit. Or take a soother or some kind! I bought five different kinds and he just doesn't like any of them!!!<br><br>
Surely there are ways I can help him adjust...I don't have to accept all of this right?...Or do I?
Oh my, you post is giving my flashbacks to 9 and a half years ago when my oldest was a newbie! For showers, I did my best to take them when my husband was home. If I couldn't do that, I would often skip them. If I REALLY needed a shower while I was home alone and he was awake (which was pretty much always, since the kid had a remarkable lack of need for sleep), I would bring in the vibrating bouncy chair, shower with the door open so he could see me (and not care if water got all over the floor), and sing and talk to him the whole time. And shower with lightning speed. He was still upset, but those things worked the best.