[peacechief]

Aside from being scared that I'll miscarry - which is a whole other topic - I've been feeling scared the last couple days that I can't/won't be able to do this. "This" being be pregnant and have the baby - and then take care of the baby and raise a little kid. Scared that I was out of my mind when I decided I wanted and was ready to have a baby. This is our first, so it's probably the biggest change. We've been married for almost five years (9/8!) and so it's going to be a big difference to have a little one to think about and take care of and love, too. I know it's normal (so I've been told) to be scared and even wonder sometimes if you made the wrong decision (and then I feel terrible about it and worry that the baby's somehow going to know that I'm having fears/doubts and not stick around....). But I haven't heard too many people saying they're going through it. So anyone else out there? How are you dealing with it? At this point, I'm trying to just relax, breathe, and put some blind trust in the fact that I'll be able to handle it - that I'll have help - and that right now it just seems so scary because it's all new and unknown, and my hormones are going wonky. I'd like to try not thinking about it, but that feels wrong somehow - like the fact that I'm pregnant and going to have a baby (

"should" always be on my mind - that somehow it would be bad, or not last if I don't think about it... Silly, I know, but that's my brain

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[4lilfarmers]

my pregnancy with ds was a total surprise...so i went through every emotion possible during that pregnancy... being doubtful and scared were big ones. and it is a huge change in your life to have a child...but you adjust and fall in love with your baby. just accept all the many feelings you have--it's alright to be scared and wonder if it's right...part of it is just the hormones. you have many more months to process everything--i honestly felt unsure about everything until my son was actually born and now he is the best part of the life

 

[lapetitemaman]

Yes, absolutely, I'm scared..like you said, scared of everything else, in addition to first trimester worries of miscarrying. The first few days after I found out I was on cloud nine...now, the reality is setting in.......There are so many worries that I'll just get myself all worked up if I post about them, but I just wanted to chime in and say, yes, I'm scared, too. (This is our first child too)

 

[didkisa]

Yes, definitely having these same worries. I suffer from panic attacks, but haven't had one in a couple years. Unfortunately, the other night I had a horrible one, worrying about the baby and how it will turn out. It really got me scared and nervous! I'm calmer now, but I just hate how illogical and uncontrollable my emotions can be during a panic attack.

 

[grneyes328]

Petrified! I've taken care of kids for years, and i'm really confident in the mechanics, etc, but I'm afraid that I'll disappoint myself as a mom, that I won't be who I want to be for my child. I'm also afraid of miscarrying.

 

[Amari's Mama]

I felt very much that way when I was PG with my now-2yo-DD. It's very normal and your worries will just change as time goes along. One worry will just replace an old one, even after the baby is born.

I do have to say that I am much more relaxed this time around - so far.

 

[MommytoTwo]

Have faith in yourself... you can do this!!! It is totally normal to be overwhelmed and scared. You wont believe how much you will love this little person and the things you will do for him/her... it all comes to you naturally.

 

[Velvet005]

Lurking here

I just wanted to post to say 2 years ago I was in your same position. I mean to the T. I was scared I was going to miscarry and about the whole pregnancy and I was scared I wasn't going to be a good parent or even be able to handle it because of the change.

It is a huge change!!! However, you can handle it. It will be a big change for your dh and your relationship too but it is not a bad change. It does take some time to adjust- at least it did for us. It is a wonderful change though and very rewarding....umm even if it doesn't seem like it the first few weeks when you are up feeding and changing all the time. It goes by fast so enjoy every moment of it.

Congratulations to you all.

Ok, hope you all don't mind my short intrusion

 

[peacechief]

Quote:

The first few days after I found out I was on cloud nine...now, the reality is setting in.......

exactly. I go back and forth between thinking it would be best to try to not dwell on the fears, and thinking I would do better to share them so they're not all bottled up, & see that others have the same fears. And I know that there is every reason to believe that I'll do just fine and will be so in love with the baby when it comes that I won't have any doubt. But it's hard sometimes, in the middle of the fear to believe (in my heart, not just head) that it will be different.

didkisa - I've had panic attacks, too, though also not for a while - but I feel like I'm working up to one

what with all these fears, plus some unrelated anxieties about the next two weekends. It sucks.

I'm right with you on the illogical and uncontrollable part.

Velvet005 - very glad for your "intrusion"! thanks

thanks for sharing, all! It helps to hear everyone's experiences!

 

[neetling]

I'll admit to being scared too. I did not get a happy response from my family when we shared our news and we aren't in the best financial shape right now. But it IS happening and we ARE happy about it. But I have this tiny (okay not so tiny) fear in my heart that something will go wrong because of all that is going on right now.

 

[grapejuicemama]

Even though this is my third time, I'm afraid. Hey, having kids is hard.

But, it's wonderful.......

I was never really afraid with my first two, which seems strange, but with this one, I am for some reason.

I'm afraid of how much busier we are going to be. About shortchanging my kids. Afraid of what I'll decide to do work-wise.

BUT I am so excited about this little baby. It took us a long time to decide whether or not we'd have another and once we made that decision, we went full steam ahead.

It's GOOD to worry, to a point. Trust yourself and your body and your little family. It's going to be great!

 

[peacelovingmama]

I am! In addition to being happy and excited, I am a little scared about parenting three children. I think we'll be ok but I am sure there will be challenges!

 

[HappiMommi]

I am alittle scared also, I donno how much longer I can work because all I want to do all day is throw up and sleep... Also, well its just crazy...

 

[starbound25]

the first is a huge adjustment but really once that little one arrives everything will slowly fall into place, have faith

 

[MonTana Mama]

I am scared about the labor and delivery. And about finding a providor. And about teaching a room of 3rd graders-full time. And parenting a strong willed 2 yo-aren't they all. I also feel like I have a nervous stomach bc of anxiety, maybe it is MS. But I wake up @3 am and get back to sleep-maybe it's bc I am hungry. Should I be that hungry already??

I am glad we have eachother. This is ALOT of women going through similar things with similar values-SO COOL!!!!!