So who's not scared of the birth?

518 Views 19 Replies 16 Participants Last post by CryPixie83, Aug 14, 2006

huggerwocky

Discussion Starter · Aug 11, 2006

I feel like an alien, after a very traumatic hospital birth during which I wanted to die rather than endure any more I am so calm knowing I will have this baby at home. I get the impression one should be scared, at least most birth books seem to suggest this.

My only concern is that I'll have te baby during the mid day heat

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unitytree

· #2 · Aug 11, 2006

You will be so engrossed in you birth that it won't matter when it happens. You can adapt either way, fan if its warm, blanket if it cool. One word of advice, if you have your babe during the day and its warm during labor make sure you still have warm blankets to wrap yourself and baby in after the birth. Your body will need the added warmth regardless of the temperature outside!! I'm planning on putting 4-5 blankets in the dryer (or getting DH too) once I hit transition, this way there warm and ready when babe is born and we step out of the tub.

I'm so happy for you that your planning a home birth. my last babe was my first homebirth, I will never go back to hospital unless its ACTUALLY needed!!

What a difference being in your own space!!

qjraven8

· #3 · Aug 11, 2006

3

my birth with raven was pretty traumatic cuz it had to be induced and was of course at the hospital, but mostly the induction and knowing i wouldnt really get to meet him (wont go on along those lines)
that's my only birth experience - well, being on the mama end!

- and even though we dont really have the option of homebirth in this state, dont have birth centers either, i'm not afraid this time. i know my mw will stand up for what i want and the hosp i'm going to is actually pretty good about listening to how you want things to be handled (actually have the option of waterbirth in every birth room) i just keep reminding myself that our bodies as women are "geared" towards giving birth and that's its so highly improbable that we will have a crazy unhandlable (new word) birth experience that its a waste of good mama energy to worry about it too terribly much! besides, havent you noticed that in every situation in which you become fearful, the muscles in your body tense up? and that's the exact opposite of what you need to have a smooth-sailing birth !
surround yourself with everything that relaxes you and have faith in yourself, the universe and your dear baby on the way

now wait to see if you can hear me (from where you are) freaking out when i actually am going through birth this time ... just telling myself all the things i just mentioned to you to help me too!!!

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Piper's mama

· #4 · Aug 11, 2006

2

Fear is the #1 enemy of birth. Of course you aren't "supposed to be afraid"! Go with it, be really grateful that you are feeling so relaxed, because there really is nothing to fear. Plus, you are almost 100% guaranteed to have a much smoother, dare I say "easier" birth experience this time. I personally am totally looking forward to labor & delivery. And stop reading those evil books-

do you have any books with positive birth stories in them? If not get either Spiritual Midwifery or Ina May's Guide to childbirth...they will help you out. Hugs mama

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huggerwocky

Discussion Starter · #5 · Aug 11, 2006

4

Quote:

Originally Posted by Piper's mama
Fear is the #1 enemy of birth. Of course you aren't "supposed to be afraid"! Go with it, be really grateful that you are feeling so relaxed, because there really is nothing to fear. Plus, you are almost 100% guaranteed to have a much smoother, dare I say "easier" birth experience this time. I personally am totally looking forward to labor & delivery. And stop reading those evil books-

do you have any books with positive birth stories in them? If not get either Spiritual Midwifery or Ina May's Guide to childbirth...they will help you out. Hugs mama

I was refering to birthing from within which said several times prepare for the worst and what will you do in the worst case scenario....

Uhm, I don't think so.

I think I'd rather naively continue to believe that the fact it's a homebirth will make all the difference. When I arrived at the hospital I was 8 cm and FINE ! After that, forget it...

So how bad can it get

:

I love being to so calm, I wish everyone could feel like that,

for homebirth!

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Guest*

· #6 · Aug 11, 2006

I figured you were referring to Birthing from Within. I think it's just fine that you aren't scared of this birth. That's great! I'm not scared...a little nervous sometimes when I think about my baby actually coming OUT of me, because it does hurt...but I'm not scared

It's been a few years since I read Birthin from Within, but I think the intent of statements that say it's wrong not to have some fears is to make you think about what can go wrong. It's safe to assume everything will go just wonderfully, but it's good to have a backup plan, or at least spend a little time thinking about what to do/how you will feel if there is a complication. You can think about those things and still not be scared of birth. I don't know if that makes sense, but that's the way I interepted that statement in BFW.

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bohemama

· #7 · Aug 11, 2006

I think it's great that you are not feeling scared about the upcoming labor and birth! There's nothing to be scared of and I think it makes for an easier labor when the mom isn't tense with fear!

Even though I've had some pretty lame births in hospitals I was never scared at all during my pregnancy. I feel even more calm and relaxed about it with this pregnancy because I'll be doing it at home. I'm even feeling welcoming about the pain of the contracts because I know it's my body telling me it's doing it's job (I also have a very high tolerance for pain, so that helps

).

The only worry that I fell right now is that the baby might come to soon. I really don't want to have the baby before 38 weeks and I'd rather the baby come after 40. But, s/he'll come when s/he's ready!

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time4another

· #8 · Aug 12, 2006

I'm not 'scared' I'm just nervous about it. Like I'm getting ready for a big test or a big race. I want to make sure that I'm prepared well for it.

I think that its great that your not scared. IME, I was less scared the second time around as well, mainly because I had been through it before. I knew the work my body had to do and how to make it work more efficiently.

You aren't wierd at all!

Heather

maciascl

· #9 · Aug 12, 2006

2

I am normally a stress case about EVERYTHING, but I too am really relaxed about this labor & birth. I think my biggest worry is takeing care of DS. I need to have my MIL & Mom here to take care of him, but I REALLY don't want them here. In fact I am so calm about it, my calmness is freaking me out a little

I can't get past the 1st few pages of Birth from Within, becuase I too feel like it's saying I should be scared.

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Piper's mama

· #10 · Aug 12, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by huggerwocky
I was refering to birthing from within which said several times prepare for the worst and what will you do in the worst case scenario....

I think I'd rather naively continue to believe that the fact it's a homebirth will make all the difference. When I arrived at the hospital I was 8 cm and FINE ! After that, forget it...

well, that is good advice...you should have a back up plan. I just know that there are a lot of "mainstream" books out there that can just scare the heck out of Mama's. I personally hate them and prefer to read about great birth stories about really super strong mama's (like the woman in Ina May's guide to childbirth who was being observed by an ob in the late 1800's. He watched her working, then stop, walk over to the fence, hold on and push her baby out. Then pick it up and walk home. Amazing! I love to think about those women, it makes me feel really inspired about birth. And I don't personally think it's naive to think HB will make all the difference...Just my 2 cents

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sweetpeasmama

· #11 · Aug 12, 2006

I didn't realize I had any fears about giving birth again until I had preterm labor at 33 weeks. But after going through that and remembering what labor feels like I am actually really looking forward to having my homebirth and seeing it through with a baby at the end of it! My only fears for right now is that the baby was frank breech at the last appt (if it isn't one thing it's another...), so once I know the baby is head down I think I'll be really psyched and ready to move forward!

littleteapot

· #12 · Aug 13, 2006

I'm confident to give birth at home, but I am scared... not really of birth, but of the idea of the baby coming out of me. This baby is safe in me, like my son was safe in me, and it's hard for me to come to terms with the idea that 'baby out of body' doesn't equal 'baby dies'.
I've had one natural birth, my first, and I am so grateful for that... especially now. But it hasn't even been a year since my son died, and I'm scared to have my baby leave the safety of my body.

huggerwocky

Discussion Starter · #13 · Aug 13, 2006

2

Quote:

Originally Posted by maciascl
I can't get past the 1st few pages of Birth from Within, becuase I too feel like it's saying I should be scared.

So I wasn't just imagining it

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huggerwocky

Discussion Starter · #14 · Aug 13, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by littleteapot
I'm confident to give birth at home, but I am scared... not really of birth, but of the idea of the baby coming out of me. This baby is safe in me, like my son was safe in me, and it's hard for me to come to terms with the idea that 'baby out of body' doesn't equal 'baby dies'.
I've had one natural birth, my first, and I am so grateful for that... especially now. But it hasn't even been a year since my son died, and I'm scared to have my baby leave the safety of my body.

I'm sorry, I would be anxious under these circumstances,too. I hope everything goes fast and smooth for you

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_betsy_

· #15 · Aug 13, 2006

Nervous, because so much is unknown for this first-timer.

But I really truly believe my body can do this, my body knows what to do, and I have to be open to allowing my body to do it's thing.

Now, if only I can convince DH that I won't be screaming for drugs at the first contraction [rolleyes].

LeosMama

· #16 · Aug 14, 2006

I'm feeling confident and excited. I wonder how it will go, how long, what the sensations will be like (I assume that each birth is somewhat different?), etc. I'm really looking forward to it, not scared at all. Like running a marathon. No matter how well prepared you are, you know it will be tough and rewarding both during and after. You look forward to it b/c the physical and mental challenge are amazing and intense and in the case of childbirth, the reward of a baby and the birth high are totally worth it!

indignantgirl

· #17 · Aug 14, 2006

My first was a traumatic induction in a hospital, but when I was pregnant with my second, just knowing it was going to be a homebirth made me feel completely calm and secure. I was planning (in my mind) for an unassisted birth because I had "feeling" that it would be (mostly because I wanted it) and that didn't worry me either. I felt like I'd know what to do when I needed to do it, and thus had nothing to fear. My second birth *did* end up unassisted because the midwife didn't arrive in time, and it was amazing.

I think that after an unsatisfactory hospital birth--*knowing* how bad it feels to have no control over something so important--many women look forward to experiencing birth the way it was meant to be experienced. I don't mean that homebirth is right for everyone, of course, but I'd imagine that a natural, instinctive, *peaceful* birth probably is.

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bookwormommy

· #18 · Aug 14, 2006

I feel really excited and not scared. Probably because this is my first so I can't really imagine how much it will probably hurt!

My only worry right now is getting through one more week, so I can (hopefully) have the home birth I desparately want.

Erin, due 9/10

clovergirl

· #19 · Aug 14, 2006

2

wait, i have to birth *this* baby too? it's not going to just fall out?!?

in all seriousness, i'm not afraid of birthing again. my first birth i was scared, mostly because i wan't comfortable where i was (hospital- got rished out of a freestanding birth center). with DD#2 (at home) i was a little nervous as it happened so fast, but i had confidence in my body and knew that everything would be fine if i just gave in and went with it. this time, it's almost like it's not even fazing me really... it's just birth. who knows what i will think once i'm in the thick of it though.

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CryPixie83

· #20 · Aug 14, 2006

What's to be scared of?

When I was pregnant with my dd I was really looking forward to giving birth (including the pain!) because I wanted the experience.

This time around, having a general idea of what's in store, I'm very calm. I'm not as excited about birth as I was before, but I'm definately not afraid.

Last time I really trusted my midwives, so I had no fear. This time I trust myself, so I have no fear

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