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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have a little girl, and I don't know how many times people have said to me, "so you're hoping for a boy next, right?" It's really bugging me. We are not going to find out the gender until he/she is born. So, does that mean people think we won't be happy if the babe is born and it's a girl? Of course we'll be happy. And, to be perfectly honest, I really don't care if we have a boy or a girl. Last time, I kind of wanted a girl first, but I truly would have been happy either way. It's just really bugging me that people always assume that you want one of each gender and that we are only having two babies. They also say, "well, at least you're getting all the diapers out of the way at the same time." We are going to have quite a few babies, and if they turn out to be all girls, I will be a very happy mama of girls. I know people who prefer to have children all of the same gender. Just wondering if other people have had this experience.
 

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People say alot of stupid sh*t when they don't know what else to say. We humans feel like we have to talk and say witty, interesting things all the time, and often, it seems we just end up making ppl feel bad.<br><br>
Try not to let it get to you too much. They don't USUALLY mean anything negative by it. maybe it's just their way of starting a conversation. (albeit not a very good one)<br><br>
And I know that I, myself get a little more indignant than I usually would, now that I'm pregnant. I'm more sensitive to EVERYTHING.
 

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Yep, I get the opposite. I have a boy, so everyone assumes I want a girl this time.<br><br>
The only time it bugs me is when I all worked up thinking "What, you don't think that my ds is so fantastic that I would want another boy?"
 

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Alot of people would want to have atleast one of each and I guess they assume everyone else wants it that way as well. Obviuosly your not that type of person <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> I say just let it roll off and dont let it bug you because you will always have someone say something. Like another poster said people feel the need to say something all the time. Whats wrong with just being quiet??? BTW I have 3 girls and having another one in about 2 weeks so I have soooo BTDT but at this point I think ppl think I have just 'given up' trying to get a boy (I think I kinda am too <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="innocent"> )<br><br>
Take care<br><br>
Michelle
 

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Oh i got a lot of words from some people (especially my grandmother) about being pregnant for the third time... After i had my dd (2 y/o last week), I would always here her say... how we now have the perfact family.. one boy and one girl and why would i need anymore. Well i didn't NEED anymore i just wanted another baby. When i first told her i was pregnant this time she was like oh my... you are waisting your life away you having even taken any college and now you won't be able to to 4 years or more... ect, ect. Oh and she said well i kept my mouth shut the last time but this time i'm going to tell you my opinions... She's a mother of one and was proud to go back to work from the time he was 2 years old and work till retirement... sorry that's not what i want out of my life i want to be a sahm for a long time at the very very least till all my kids are in school full time and then i may get a job but not a full time job or career... my career is being a mama!!! sorry had to vent on that issue too! LOL
 

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I haven't had that question yet, but I had my planned answer.<br>
"You want boy this time right?"--Me: Yes! So much so that if we have a girl we'll probably put her up for adoption and keep trying until we get it right.<br><br>
A question that stupid deserves a stupid answer. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="innocent">
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thanks for the encouragement. I probably am overreacting, but it's amazing how many people consider one of each the perfect family! My mom has this fear that if I have a boy, we will be done having children. I've told her many times that we want many children. And I understand how you feel Becky. My MIL and her mom were both quite distressed when we told them we were pregnant again. They said something like, "well, you'll survive, I suppose." Thanks for venting along with me. It makes me feel better. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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When I told my mother we were pregnant again she said that she hoped it was a boy so that we would have another one (for some reason she's obsessed with the idea of us having at least three kids). When I told her that we're having a boy she was thrilled and said "Yes! so you'll be trying for another one soon." Umm can I have the one I'm pregnant with first? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"><br><br>
We are thrilled to be having another boy. And no, we aren't planning on having any more children. Are we a little disapointed that we won't ever have a little girl in the family? Yes a little. Are we looking forward to raising our boys? We wouldn't trade what we have for all the money in the world!
 

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I have 1 dd and my dsis has 3 dd's, so our family doesn't have any boys yet. We found out that I am expecting a boy in August, and personally it scares the heck out of me. Yes, I am a little excited about having the 1st boy, but my family doesn't know how to "do" boys any more. (I have 2 brothers, but the youngest is 22.) The other day my dsis & I were looking at cd's and the ones I showed her were dark blue/black w/ pics on them. She thought they were too dark. I had to remind her that I was having a boy and pastels were not what I was looking for.<br>
Personally, I would have been fine w/ another girl. Having the opposite takes a lot of getting used to and we have a ton of shopping to do to get ready.<br><br>
TerriKay
 

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aughh I hear so much "are you going to try for a girl" it drives me crazy. In some ways I NEVER want a girl, in other ways I want one, in other ways I would love another boy. In other words-IT DOESNT MATTER. I Would love either, anyway. And for the record, we're at no more babies for now. LOL I don't even get the urge to get pregnant like i've always gotten before (& i've now ovulated twice, about to be three times, since postpartum). I'll look from a far, thanks. Doesn't mean I don't miss pregnancy & birth & the newborn/baby stuff. But I just know its not a great time.<br><br>
Aisling
 

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I have two boys, and I've had this same basic thing said to me a lot. I always want to stand up and say something, but I end up just laughing and shrugging it off. I'm not great at interacting with people. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/bag.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Bag">: Hmmmm, maybe I should go with the laughing, but instead of sounding like I'm laughing with them, just go on and on and on and make it obvious that what they said is the most asbsurd thing I've heard in quite a while...<br><br>
Now, to make things a little tricky, my oldest *is* hoping for a girl. So when people ask, he'll pipe up and say how much he wants a little sister. Or they ask *him* what he hopes we have -- I think that bugs me most of all. Because, you know, I have complete control over what gender of baby I am carrying and can cater to his fancy. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> I mean, doesn't asking a 4 yo which they would prefer make it sound like he has a choice in the matter?<br><br>
"Darwin, do you want an apple, or a mango?"<br>
"Oh, a mango, I love mangos!"<br>
"Well, sorry, you'll have to take whatever your mom gives you. She might only have apples."<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
 

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DD#2 is due any day now. The last couple months I've had a lot of people comment with a disappointed tone on finding out the bump is a girl, "Oh, <b>TWO</b> girls, are you going to keep trying for a boy?" or something to that effect. I always respond (truthfully) "Nope, we're going to stop before we have a boy. It never occurred to DH or myself that we'd have anything but girls." People sure aren't used to hearing that, and many think I'm joking because it's apparently inconceivable that a father wouldn't place a greater value on producing a son than on life itself.
 

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If we say girl people are surprised. If we say boy people are surprised. My favorite on the annoying spectrum is if it is a girl you will have book ends -starting and ending your family with a girl. Oh? So we are done?? I have given back at that point with the I guess you mean this one is a boy since we aren't done.<br>
People are very surprised we don't know. Then to not seem to care what gender the baby will be. Like I can change it? I will put it back??<br>
Most poeple are idiots. I know cuz sometimes idiot falls out of my mouth, too.
 

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I'm dreading telling people this time around. Not only do I get the 'trying for a girl' but I'm also going to have people wierded out by the fact that I'm having a fourth child. People are insensitive even when I know they aren't intending it by saying things like 'if it's a girl we'll throw you a shower!!'.....I mean it's wonderful to think that it might be a girl but does that mean that if it's a boy he's not deserving of anything because he's just a boy? I'm seriously considering not telling anyone what the sex of the baby is if we find out, just so I don't have to hear the 'I'm sorry' when we find out boy #4 is on the way...cause we aren't sorry.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Kylie, I just want to say that you are the first person I have heard of with a March '05 due date. Congrats!
 

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Thank you!<br>
Not many people I tell are happy about it, today I told a friend and instead of 'congratulations' I got 'ANOTHER one?????' <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
That's sad Kylie. We are planning on having quite a few. Our goal right now is 5, but who knows how many we'll actually have. And there are lots of people here at MDC w/ large families, so I don't think you'll hear that here. I think pregnancy is nearly always exciting! (I say nearly, b/c my 22 y/o brother just found out his girlfriend is pregnant and they are not living together, not planning on getting married, and she initially wanted to abort the baby. He knows there will be a lot of battles, including a custody battle eventually.) Anyway, Congrats.
 

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I think this is just one of those generic conversations that people like to have with any mama they see --smalltalk. When the bb is here they say "is (s)he a GOOD baby??? I feel like saying ya, he sucks! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> That's what 'good' babies do. I've hear mamas actually say NO, he doesn't sleep enough (bad baby!) <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> I've got a girl and 2 boys and yes--we must despiratley want another girl right! As if I really care either way--I always say "As long as it's not a PUPPY, I'll be really happy!" Puppies are so much work! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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I've only gotten this a few times so far.... I always feel uncomfortable because truthfully....I do want another girl. But I feel guilty for feeling that way, and I don't know what my baby's gender is, so it's always this weird moment for me.<br><br>
Do I tell them, "No, I am hoping for a girl..."? cause what happens if I DO have a boy? People are gonna think I'm not happy with my baby. But I don't wanna lie and say I want a boy, or will be overjoyed at either. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> So I usually nervously laugh, and say, "Well.....we'll see. Who knows?"
 
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