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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi, so I'm technically not a home schooler yet, because my lo is only 2, but that's my plan for her. Right now we "tot" school, basically so I can practice. Lol

But, my dh is still not totally on board with homeschooling her because he worries about her social growth. He thinks the most important part of ps is recess.

So I'm wondering what you all do for your kids socially? Do they play with other kids everyday? (That's what he wants for her.) Do you worry about your kids social growth?

She does have some baby friends, lots of cousins, hopefully siblings someday, a family-like church group, we plan on putting her in a few sports, and possibly joining a homeschool group.

I think that's enough really, but this is a huge concern for him.
 

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I wouldn't worry about the socialization.
You mention your two year old meets with tot groups, has cousins, church groups, etc. - you're already forming relationships. My children rarely left our house/yard when they were two. I was overwhelmed when they were young, they had health issues, I am a homebody content not to socialize and they had each other. Also, I am a lot older than most of the parents so I don't have mom-friendships.


We've only been HS'ing two years, but the past year my children have more social opportunities than they had when they were in school; mostly because they have a lot more time. They have formed great friendships with a handful of children of varied ages. My children would like to have kids over daily, but I limit it because I do not want daily play dates. They see other children often (sometimes for a structured activity and sometimes free play) and if they don't, they meet up with kids online.


The first year we HS'ed was difficult- we weren't sure what to do with our time. We do not belong to a HS group or church. The kids are involved in library clubs - like Minecraft and chess. They are both active in the theatre - my daughter acts and my son does lighting and sound. They also go to a democratic type school 1x/week, book club, art classes, foreign film club, etc. They play instruments which doesn't allow for making friends but it does enable them to socialize with another adult. We are very relaxed HS'ers. I hesitate to call us unschoolers because I think US'ing is a lot of work and planning...We are more like a lazy HS'ers :eek:. So, we probably have more free time and flexibility than families who 'do school at home'.


If an introvert like me can find social opportunities for my children, I think you will be fine:thumb.
 

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Does your husband go to school? No? Does he have any friends? Yes? Well, there you go! :lol

I don't think we learn skills best from people who are no better at them than we are. Generally humans need modelling, instruction, support and guidance from people who have already mastered some of the skills they need. Now let's consider recess. Just exactly who are kids learning their social skills from in that scenario? Yup, people who are just as inept and bumbling as they are.

Seriously, kids need to learn social approach skills, resilience, self-esteem, conflict resolution, social graces, values and morals while under the guidance of people who can teach them. Not in a playground full of 75 stir-crazy 6- and 7-year-olds where two or three adults are just trying to make sure no one gets pushed off the top of the slide.

I can often tell a homeschooler when I see one in a random social situation. Homeschoolers are the ones are willing to make eye contact with, and are interested in talking with, adults of all ages. Homeschooled teens happily approach and hang out with 10-year-olds and 6-year-olds rather than sneering down their noses at anyone younger. Homeschooled kids have a self-assurance and groundedness: they know who they are and what they believe, and the garbage-y social stuff they encounter just washes over them.

It's just such a non-issue, the social thing, in my experience.

My kids have had each other (there are four of them), and activities with other kids typically 4-5 days a week. It seemed like too much at times, so we would dial it back occasionally. There certainly hasn't been any lack!

Miranda
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thank you both! I have the same feelings and as she gets older, I think he will realize it's not a big issue also. A lot of it is that he is very social and I'm an introvert. I'm a SAHM the leaves the house 3 days a week and I love it. But I think he worries I'll turn dd crazy when it's just the two of us all the time. Lol

I totally agree about how hs kids are more sociable, his cousins kids are way more polite to adults and sweet to the littles.

I just don't know how to get him to understand. I guess he will just have to see.
 

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Our problem is actually finding time to stay home and actually do school, definitely not finding social groups. I'm an introvert as well, but my dd is more extroverted and loves spending time with other kids. There are plenty of opportunities out there for homeschoolers-co-ops, homeschool groups, plus all the activities available to all kids. She's done a co-op, girl scouts, dance class, sports, nature club etc. My ds is only 5 and is more introverted like me, but he has done soccer, baseball, swim class, plus home school group activities. Seriously, I have to start saying no to things just to save the budget and find time to be home more!

Honestly, I had the same worries as your husband when the kids were really little, and especially when the toddler friends we had started going to preschool/kindergarten and suddenly it was hard to do play dates, etc. But that worked itself out pretty quickly. I did have to step out of my comfort zone and really make myself attend activities when perhaps *I* didn't really want/need to, for the kids' sakes, so perhaps you could promise your husband that you are willing to do that.
 

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Don't worry, if you live in America/Canada, you have plenty of social activities to choose from for your kids to participate in, so that lack of socialization will not be a problem for you. I have homeschooled abroad and let me tell you, lack of socialization is a real concern there! Because I had already met a couple of homeschooling families in the country where I lived, who had formed their own small network in order to create their own social activities (playdates, Sports Day, picnics, etc) that's what made me decide to go the homeschooling route. Otherwise because I was worried about my kids being homebound all day (since in this country hardly anyone of the local population has ever heard of homeschooling, much less engaged in it) I wouldn't have bothered homeschooling while abroad. Hopefully you'll find plenty of options that both you and your kids will be satisfied with soon.
 

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Yes living in rural Australia we certainly don't have handy co-ops or weekly park days or even know that many homeschoolers. We do though have neighbours whose children seem to be a permanent fixture at our house! Their house is boring and ours is exciting. I can count on my hands how many homeschool events we have been to in the last 9 years, but what with kids club, horse riding lessons and the neighbours children I really don't worry about it. You will find extroverted children have their own ways of getting enough contact as they get older through phone calls, emails, site chatting and just bugging you to make play dates happen or they learn how to make it happen themselves, while your introverted children are ever so glad they don't have to see kids at school every day.
 
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