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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I was walking down the street with DP and DD was in our back carrier and a cop stopped us saying someone filed a complaint, thinking we were abusing our DD!! I am soo upset and really in need of some support... he was asking us questions like, "don't you have a stroller?", "when is the last time she was fed?" "was she born in a hospital?" I am so SICK of people discriminating against young parents and attachment parenting!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:<br><br>
Now they want to do a home visit and I'm sure they're just going to LOVE our family bed and other alternative parenting styles...
 

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What?<br><br>
That is insane! Why do you have to own a stroller? What does it matter if you baby was born in a hospital? Does she look underfed? I think I would contact the ACLU for help. Also I would find out exactly what you were doing that was considered abusive. Its hard to imagine a cop questioning because someone saw you walking. Not that it does not happen. I am just being frustrated for you.
 

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ok iam confused why would some one call the cops on u for not having a stroller<br><br>
but since they r comming to ur house i would make them think u do things their way borrow a crib and set it up with bedding and that stuff soo that way if they ask where the crib is u can just say here it is and leave it at that if they ask does the baby sleep in it u can say well noo we like to have it around for show and start laughing hahah than after they leave the next day get rid of the thing hahah<br><br>
but i hope everything works out for u that sucks that someone would do that
 

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Someone correct me if I am wrong, but unless they have a POLICE WARRANT, I do not believe anyone has the right to enter into your house.<br><br>
Have you been arrested? Have you been charged?<br><br>
If you have been charged, on what grounds? For what crime? Who is your accuser?<br><br>
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW THESE THINGS.<br>
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REFUSE ENTRY TO YOUR HOUSE if they have no warrant.<br><br>
Please get a lawyer.
 

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Was the cop following you? How did he even know who you were? In my city the cops don't get involved unless they need to back up DHS to remove a child from the home. Otherwise, they operate independent of each other.<br>
Good luck with the home visit.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MrsMike</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9062027"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Was the cop following you? How did he even know who you were? In my city the cops don't get involved unless they need to back up DHS to remove a child from the home. Otherwise, they operate independent of each other.<br>
Good luck with the home visit.</div>
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This was the first question in my head, too.
 

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This sounds odd to me!<br><br>
I'd be worried about what the cop was doing near me. Around here, cops aren't called for CPS matters, unless they are arresting someone. It sounds super fishy. Could he be stalking you or something like that?
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I'm assuming that someone saw us walking on the street. We're in Toronto visiting my dad and we were about to get on the subway... so the most likely scenario is that someone pointed us out and asked the cop to follow us. No way would a cop be chasing us down and find us like that. No, I wasn't arrested or charged. Someone made a complaint and said we didn't look like fit parents and that DD was "filthy" (come on, she's a baby! she crawls around on the floor.) Then later when we called back to get more info, apparently the report said that WE, as in DD, DP and I, looked filthy! WHAT? If you could see what we look like right now you would likely laugh at that. They even asked me if I have taken any PARENTING CLASSES <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: I was like... umm, prenatal classes, la leche league, early years centres, parent links, DOZENS of books...<br><br>
So they need a warrant to enter our house? I mean, it's not that I care if they see our home. In fact I'd be glad to show off just how child friendly we actualy are, but it just feels downright insulting kwim? It makes me feel sick.<br><br>
As for the stroller... he was saying that my back carrier should be in front, didnt look safe, etc. Jeez. I guess it gets less exposure than I thought.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Hope this goes smoothly & QUICKLY for you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mommytomahmoud</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9061915"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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but since they r comming to ur house i would make them think u do things their way borrow a crib and set it up with bedding and that stuff soo that way if they ask where the crib is u can just say here it is and leave it at that if they ask does the baby sleep in it u can say well noo we like to have it around for show and start laughing hahah than after they leave the next day get rid of the thing hahah</div>
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Yeah, I thought about putting the crib back together for show but after some thought I decided I probably wont. Cosleeping is NOT abuse, and if they think so, then so be it. I'll fight it. I don't have to defend my parenting style to them.<br><br>
Haha it reminded me of this episode of the L word... anyone watch that show? When she social worker comes to their house and Bette and Tina are trying to explain their AP style parenting to her... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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I advise you dont fight it, just put the crib up for show JIC they do get the warrent. I'm sure this cop was just talking out his butt though, and if they knock on your door, dont let them in until the come back with a warrant.
 

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that's crazy.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/jaw.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="dropjaw"> i lived in downtown Toronto for 7 years and saw tons of babies in various forms of slings. i carry my dd on transit all the time in a sling. i hope this gets sorted out for you soon.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>granola_mom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9062332"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">So they need a warrant to enter our house? I mean, it's not that I care if they see our home. In fact I'd be glad to show off just how child friendly we actualy are, but it just feels downright insulting kwim? It makes me feel sick.</div>
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YES!! They do NEED a warrant to enter your house!! And if I were you I would NOT let them in, they will use anything they can get their hands on to nose into your life!!<br><br>
I agree with pp's -- get a lawyer!<br><br>
And do NOT let them in your house without a warrant!
 

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Get a copy of Dr Sears books and leave your family bed right where it is. This is ridiculous, and as soon as they see your loving family home you'll be fine.<br><br>
Oh, btw...I believe that in Canada when an allegation of abuse/neglect turns out to be false, you as the accused has a right to know who tried to blow the whistle on you. A friend of mine lives in Ontario and her neighbour had a home visit because someone said she had left her kids alone while she went to get drunk. It just did not happen and the social worker had to disclose the name of her accuser, turns out it was a woman in the area who just likes to stir up trouble. Now THAT woman is in a lot of trouble herself.<br><br>
Get to know what your rights are and it probably would not hurt to fire off an e-mail to Dr Jack Newman too.
 

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Print out copies of babywearing photos as well as info on more "mainstream" back carriers, like Kelty backpacks and have them on hand. Better yet, file a complaint with the local police department--you are a fit parent, your baby was safe, secure and loved and evidently the cop who stopped you is uninformed about back carriers! How ridiculous!
 

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If I were you I'd not be home for several days ...<br><br>
Contact a lawyer asap Monday morning.<br><br>
I'm not sure what the laws are in Canada about abuse accusations... so I'd be careful until you've spoken to an attorney...or two... find one you "click" with.
 

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Find out if they need the equivalent of a warrant in Canada (I'd assume they'd need something) to enter your home. If you want to draw this out, then harp on your right to co-sleep. If you want it over and done with, put the crib together and put some sheets on the mattress.<br><br>
Jenn
 

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I wish you all the best. I absolutely cannot believe this. I don't have any advice for you, just lots of support.
 
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