someone please get her to STOP WHINING!!!!!!!!

535 Views 5 Replies 6 Participants Last post by srain, Jun 28, 2004

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Discussion Starter · Jun 16, 2004

i try and keep patient when she's tired or we skipped food

but i cant stand being cried at ANYMORE!!!

bloody hell why did we teach you to talk when at 5 1/2 you make monkey noises and cry at me.....

yes dh has been in the hospital and yes we're all fubared

i'm trying to bear this in mind

but even when we're good i'm so sick of being cried at. i ask a simple question and i get a crying answer. i'll discuss most anything but not when its cried at me.....

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supervee

· #2 · Jun 16, 2004

I'm sorry you're in this place! It's very tough.

DS went through a phase of whining and I have such a low tolerance for any kind of whining or crying that it was UNDER MY SKIN! I don't know where I read this, but I changed my idea of what whining was. That is, I stopped seeing whining as an annoying behavior and starting seeing it as the way he talked. You know when babies cry b/c they can't tell you their diaper is wet? I just kept thinking, my preschooler is whining b/c he can't tell me any other way that he needs a big old hug and to be babied a little. This way I kept my cool, he didn't get any undue attention for negative behavior (well, he got extra hugs but he didn't get to see mama explode!), and he got what he needed all along.

It helped a lot, and he eventually stopped, well for now. I'm sure it will return at some point.

HTH! Hope this phase is over soon for you!

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boycrazy

· #3 · Jun 16, 2004

you sound really frustrated! Whining is soooo hard! I'm always feeling like I said it, why can't you just respond?? I guess we just have to learn the patience of Job.

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mom2lyndsey

· #4 · Jun 27, 2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by supervee
That is, I stopped seeing whining as an annoying behavior and starting seeing it as the way he talked. You know when babies cry b/c they can't tell you their diaper is wet? I just kept thinking, my preschooler is whining b/c he can't tell me any other way that he needs a big old hug and to be babied a little. This way I kept my cool, he didn't get any undue attention for negative behavior (well, he got extra hugs but he didn't get to see mama explode!), and he got what he needed all along.

HTH! Hope this phase is over soon for you!

Wow! It certainly helps me. DD is doing the whining/crying thing as well. What you wrote reminds me of the idea that you can't change other people, but you can change how you react to them.

Lyndsey's mom

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Kinipela79

· #5 · Jun 28, 2004

My son is 5 1/2 and we have a "whine chart". If he goes throught the day without whining (I don't count it against him if he starts to whine and I remind him to speak nicely or he catches himself) and if he goes through the day he gets to draw a happy face on the day. If he gets 6 happy faces...on Sunday he either gets to pick a family trip for icecream or a small treat from the store. (and yes I shamelessly plug for the *family* icecream! lol) He has done GREAT with it and he even said that it's a lot easier to use his nice voice so mama doesn't get "grumpy"...lol

Most kids go through phases like this...

HTH

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srain

· #6 · Jun 28, 2004

With my son, there's a definite difference between "real" whining, like when he's truly upset, and plain ol' annoying whining. If he's in a state where he is capable of speaking in a normal voice, we tell him we can't understand him if he's whining. So he has to repeat himself nicely to get a response. This cut whining way down. We do respond to whining if he seems sincerely unable to communicate in any other way right then, but this is rare, honestly.

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