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<p>Thank goodness it isn't a close friend, but I mentioned my baby name to some ladies on a name forum and then... wham! someone who just recently had her baby STOLE it! This shouldn't bother me because it's not like I will be personally interacting with her on a daily basis....but it really bothers me!!! I take a lot of time to think of names that mean something and give character to my baby and usually they are too "out there" for people to want to use for themselves so I stupidly let it out. I normally keep it quiet unless it's family members wondering. I just hope this doesn't taint the name for me... although I would be pretty mad at myself if I let a stranger using the name change my mind haha. Anyone else have this happen?? Did it change the way you felt about the name?</p>
 

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<p>Oh no!  I think it would bother me, too.  Not that it's in any way rational (although when are pregnant women expected to be rational?), but having picked out names it's like they're a link to my baby.  Does that make sense?  So hearing that someone else is using the same name would be like interference in that link.  Instead of saying the name and thinking "that's my baby!" I'd be thinking "that's my baby... but also that other woman's baby..." </p>
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<p>I think the rule should be, if you're going to steal someone's name, at least don't tell them!  <span><img alt="smile.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/smile.gif"></span></p>
 

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<p>In my last due date club there was another mom who named her daughter the same thing I did, and I don't think I mentioned it at all, but I was still feeling very protective of my (her) name. And sometimes I'll be out at the playground and hear someone else use it for a younger child than my daughter and selfishly think "How dare they!" and wonder if they'd heard me use it while they were pregnant or something so silly like that. I think it's normal when you choose a unique name to hold it dear and want it to continue to be unique, but chances are, someone will hear it and be inspired by it at some point, now or later...</p>
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<p>We keep our names a secret until the baby is born, also just in case we see the little one and think they might be "someone else" all together. :)</p>
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<p>How does one "steal" a name? <span><img alt="headscratch.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/headscratch.gif" style="width:20px;height:20px;"></span>  I mean this isn't like it was your sister, it was some random person on a <span style="text-decoration:underline;"><em><strong>baby names forum</strong></em></span>.  I would assume anyone on a names forum was doing just that-looking for names.</p>
 
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<p>Hmmm, what's the name, I might want to use it????  Just kidding.  I know how you feel.  My husband had our youngest daughter's name come to him in the wind when meditating and it is not a name, well not until now and I would be crushed if I ever heard anyone use it because I feel like it was wispered to him just for her.</p>
 

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<p>You can also look at this as an honor that someone thought the name you came up with was the perfect name for their child too. I think I would be irritated if it was someone I knew but, you most likely will never have to talk to the person again if you don't want to. I think you will enjoy the name for your child, remember you didn't find it on a baby name website...you were the original <span><img alt="thumb.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/thumb.gif"></span></p>
 

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<p>I know, I know... it's a name and I shouldn't have said it if I didn't want someone else to use it, but it still stung a little :( I totally get what you mean by it being a little link to me and the baby and I feel now that someone else used it, it is tainted in someway... I sound crazy!!!!!<span><img alt="nut.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/nut.gif" style="width:15px;height:15px;"></span> I suppose I will get over it and still use the name... but I will have to do some serious mental blocking to make me stop thinking that there is another baby out there with my baby's name! I don't know why I am so possesive over these things... maybe I should learn to share :) haha</p>
 

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<p>When I was pregnant with DS I chose 2 names that I was fond of and we were deciding the order (middle vs first). I had already chosen the names and had no idea his wife liked one of them before choosing them. I was accused of stealing her "favorite boy name". She proceeded to 'joke' about this during my entire pregnancy (even though she was not pregnant and did not have a baby until 5 years later). My point ~ it is a name. While I understand it has special meaning to you ~ names are names. I chose my DS name before it became extremely popular...ever since I named him...it has been in the top 10 list...which annoys me but really ~ I do not own names.</p>
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<p>This month a friend is having a baby and her little girl is going to be named the same thing I have picked out if we have a little girl...but it is not because I am stealing...it is because I already had it picked beforehand. At any rate, point being ~ in the grand scheme of things I do not really think it is that big of a deal and I don't think it is worth being offended over.</p>
 

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<p>I wouldn't worry about it unless you are actually going to be interacting with this person routinely. I don't think I'd rule out, say, giving my kid the same name as the child of a friend who lives in another city who we see 1x/year or so.</p>
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<p>I guess the part that would bug me would be more like, oh, great, it's more popular than I thought, or some such.</p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Buddhamom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1285429/someone-stole-my-1-baby-name#post_16116126"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border-bottom:0px solid;border-left:0px solid;border-top:0px solid;border-right:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>Hmmm, what's the name, I might want to use it????  Just kidding. .</p>
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LOL!!  That was my first thought too. </p>
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<p>But seriously, I am actually considering doing it.  Please don't judge me.  There is a girl at work who has a 6 yr old with a name that I like.  Now, there are actually quite a few girl names that I like better but DH would like to use his grandfather's initials - JC.  And there are really no other girl names that I like with a J except my coworkers daughter's, which I have liked for a long time before knowing her (but she probably wouldn't believe me).  But I do feel weird/guilty even considering using it.  Let me preface that with if it was a name I just casually overheard in a park, I wouldn't feel so bad...I would probably never see that person again. </p>
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<p>But I do see your point in that you took time and thought of this perfect name, and I understand how you would feel a sense of ownership in that name.  But there are only so many names in the world...some are bound to be used more than once.  (Or am I just trying to make myself feel better??  UGHHH!!!)</p>
 

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<p>From a different perspective, my parents chose a name for my youngest sister (8 years apart) from a classmate of mine. I'd known her since 1st grade, and both she and my sister always loved to share the name. It was a fun bond :)</p>
 

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<p>GolfAddict, how well do you know your coworker and how likely are you to be spending time outside of work together with your kids? How likely is it that you and she will both work there in a year or two? My work tends to be pretty transient and while we all talk at work we don't necessarily spend much time together outside of work, so I don't think I'd necessarily have a qualm about using the name of a coworker's kid. But if you have worked with her for 12 years and she's your BFF, then maybe not.</p>
 

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<p>When I had DS we had a few names chosen and didn't share because we didn't want to hear the negatives (because there always will be) and we ended up naming him the same name as a coworker.  I didn't know that she had a son named Holden and people actually asked me if I had asked her if it was okay...  BTW Holden is a family name and has nothing to do with, insert coworkers' name here, son, People!  Now if I named my daughter Anika then we may have a problem (her DD's name)<span><img alt="lol.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="width:15px;height:31px;"></span></p>
 

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<p>I totally understand, but it will only mess with you now - in this moment if you let it. After my son was born - my inlaws emailed an announcement to everyone they knew with our top name picks since we hadn't officially named him. Well, complete strangers started emailing votes! I t totally messed with me - and although we went with our first instinct - we didn't use the other names as a middle name - and I still regret that. And my poor brother and his wife were once at a music festival and started chatting it up with a young woman about 2 months farther along then they were. they told her their son's complete chosen name. Well, she found them hours later and announced that she had decided her son's name. The exact one! first and middle! They were shocked as she was trying to thank them for the name. 6 years later - it's a story that comes up once in awhile. They can usually laugh, but they definitely don't think about another little boy running around out there with their son's name. They just got over it, b/c their son was the only one that mattered :)</p>
 

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<p>Was it a name you made up specifically for your baby? Unless it was a completely unique name I'm not sure how you can know they "stole" it. But, I understand not being rational when pregnant :)</p>
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<p>My son was the first to be named "Elijah" with "Eli" for short around our little community, and know I know at least 4 little boys with that name now. Did they copy off us? Maybe. But I don't mind. I think my son is so awesome how can anyone <em>not</em> want to name their child after him :)</p>
 

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<p>Yeah I'm with everyone else... you can't steal a name, because you never owned it in the first place. It's a name, and it already belongs to tens of thousands of people (if not many, <strong>many</strong> more). TBH you "stole" it from someone else first by hearing about it, unless you made it up completely (and even then it's likely your subconscious heard it somewhere and there is another person, somewhere, with that name). Whether that be on a baby name forum, or a search where someone else wrote it in and submitted it because it was their child's name and someone else had it "first". I think once you gain some perspective on this issue, you may find you feel a little better about using a name that someone else has used before... particularly if that name is important to you.  Who had it first isn't really what's important here.</p>
 

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<p>We have our picked names secret too, at least with people IRL.  Here I've slipped a few times, but I think I'll keep it secret now. :)  We completely changed our mind about our DD's name a few weeks before delivery and didn't settle on a FULL name until she was 12 hours old. :)  We have had a complete boys name now for 2 years and I'm itching to use it (although that could change too!).  I do get a little fear though when friends have babies before I do that they will pick these names we've so quietly guarded for so many months.  It would be sad to have someone in our close knit church community pick a name we'd set our hearts on.  (Picking the right name is HARD!).</p>
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<p>Another mother I know was really peeved (she wasn't even pregnant!) when another mother  in our church picked a long time favorite name of hers, Liam, for her little boy.  So she essentially couldn't use it!  Her boys are named Cruz and Colt.  Two adorable little boys with fun interesting names. I think she did well. :)  It's hard.</p>
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<p>In our family, names have to be unique enough to stand with a very common surname, be standard enough to be recognizable as names, NOT be on the top 50 or so popular baby names list, and not be used by anyone we know (unless it is very deliberate) with in a certain radius of people (I agree, if you see them maybe once a year and have a casual relationship with them, it's probably okay).  Plus, we have to like it!  My husband really likes the Greek and Roman names.  I like old fashioned "old people" names.  It will be interesting if we have several children to see what kind of name mix we end up with! </p>
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<p>I would not steal (or beg or borrow) a name from anyone I knew.  But if I found just the right name on a public forum of "strangers", I just might use it.</p>
 

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<p>DDCC - In the age before the internet I named my son a name I loved.  It has since been very popular but it really suits him.  I made a call to the orthodontist when he was 12 and they already had a patient with the same first and last name who is 3 weeks older and only 30 miles away.  OOPs</p>
 
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