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i think my mom used to be a little skeptical about the way we parent our son, who is now 4. when he was 2, he went through the "terrific twos" in a big way--but we kept using gentle discipline and tried to remain patient with him. i think our families thought we were nuts and had no idea what we were doing, and to make matters worse we had him young, at age 20 (although all of us here know that probably has nothing to do with it!).<br><br>
today my mom sent me this email, and i thought i'd share it with my friends here <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Dear (mamaley and dh),<br>
Below is a quote from one of the books in the "Dune" series, which (mom's dh)<br>
found and passed on to me. When I read it, I thought of (ds) then the<br>
both of you. Because of the way you parent him, you have not tamed him. It seems the same is true for (baby dd). It takes more time, energy and<br>
commitment to parent in the manner you do, yet you do it consistently. It's<br>
impressive, you should feel very good about that.<br><br>
Love,<br><br>
Mom<br><br><br>
Most civilization is based on cowardice.<br>
It's so easy to civilize by teaching cowardice.<br>
You water down the standards which would lead to bravery.<br>
You restrain the will.<br>
You regulate the appetites.<br>
You fence in the horizons.<br>
You make a law for every movement.<br>
You deny the existence of chaos.<br>
You teach even the children to breathe slowly.<br>
You tame.<br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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That was really great of her! How sweet. If only all the other naysayers got it like she does! I am happy for you!
 

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That is an awesome quote. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Oh my God I totally teared up reading that message from your Mom, <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"> that is soooooooo sweet!<br><br>
Good for her to send that to you, very impressed. Go Mom!<br><br>
Kitty
 

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how very cool. you should be proud ....<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Wow... that really got to me. The quote and the manner in which it was given to you. I have also had the great benefit of letting my mom know that there was another way to parent and having her be very receptive (after some initial weirdness between us). It helps so much to have that support.<br><br>
The best to you!
 

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That is wonderful. I love to see other have ah ha moments and it's even better when they are willing to share that ah ha with the person it matters to.<br><br>
That note is a keeper, mamaley
 

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I love this quote, and was going to make it into a poster for my babe's room. And then I had another thought in the shower (why do these things always come to me in the shower?) and did some googling on Frank Herbert. Apparently this quote is also popular in the libertarian community.<br><br>
And now I'm a little mixed on it. I really like the quote in the context of raising a brave child, but wonder about the politics of libertarians.<br><br>
I googled the libertarians and while I agree with the basic definition of libertarian ("one who upholds and lives the principle of individual liberty and responsibility of thought and action"), I'm concerned about the rightwing libertarians who "support repeal of all gun control laws" (<a href="http://www.issues2000.org/Celeb/Libertarian_Party_Gun_Control.htm" target="_blank">http://www.issues2000.org/Celeb/Libe...un_Control.htm</a>).<br><br>
Just some Sunday morning philosophizing... we now return you to your regularly scheduled talking about babies ...
 

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That is a wonderful quote! And how special your mother and her DH thought of your family beautifully when they read it. I should reread Dune now that I have children. It sounds like I would get so much more out of it...if I find the time!<br><br>
As to politics, that is seperate.<br>
There are so many things out there that can be twisted any which way someone chooses. Just because someone else uses a similar/same quote doesn't make it any less meaningful in this situation.<br>
Being a Libertarian, Republican, Democrat, etc. doesn't mean you believe every single thing the party says. That would be a very boring world <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> so even if you disagreed with one or several areas, you could still agree with the quote in this context.<br>
Philosphising on a Sunday? LOL I married an engeneer who turned philosophy major. If I can't change the subject or escape- everyday can be a philosophy day!
 
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