[naturegirl]

I just wanted to see if I had any others in a similar situation. I have one ds who took 1yr ttc after a m/c and then after 2 1/2 years of not using protection (but only 6 months after first ppaf) we got pregnant again to yet another m/c. We have been ttc since (about 6 months). We are "technically" labeled as secondary infertility I believe?

I just don't really fit in with the infertility threads (I don't feel I have extreme infertility issues...no pcos, I ovulate regularly, I have plenty of fertile cm, no health issues, etc) I am constantly dissapointed and depressed in the ttc threads as every af shows, and hate browsing the toddler and "due dates" of my toddler threads because of all the 2nd and 3rd babies now being born. I am happy for all the new babies being born to great mommas, it just reminds me of what I am missing.

Also, any mommas here "infertile" due to male factor? All my testing shows I am fertile mertile except for a slightly short lp. I am starting to suspect male factor issues but dh is unwilling to get tested so I will never know for sure.

Anyway, am I alone?

 

[Girlo]

I'm here too, Cheryl!

We conceived ds after 2 m/c's, but no other issues. We conceived quickly and we have a perfect (relatively

: ) child.
This time around....holy cow.

It's been just over 2 years and we've been through 2 more m/c's. We're currently on cycle #7 after my last m/c. I haven't had any official testing, because I just have a feeling they're not going to find anything. My paps always come back clean, my health is perfect (glucose, thyroid, etc.), I weigh about 20 lbs. less than I did when I conceived ds (which is fantastic!), and I've had 2 ultrasounds related to my m/c's and they always look very closely at all my female parts.....and everything is perfect!
I haven't brought up any further testing (male factor, etc.) because we have been pg in the last year. If I'm not pg again by the end of the year, I may check into this further....if I don't just give up altogether.

This journey has been THE most stressful thing I've done for this long. That's why I'm thinking of just throwing in the towel and being happy with my single child. I can't seem to be satisfied with that option though....still working on that one.
If I knew there was something wrong (irregular cycles, etc.), it would be better because I'd know what I was up against. All I really know right now is that it's just "not our time". Great.

 

[naturegirl]

Boy I hope it isn't a WA state thing!

.

Sorry to hear you are in the same boat (well sort of, I could use the company.

)

M/C's SUCK! I feel like such a whiner sometimes, I mean I DO have one great child and I have ONLY had 2 m/c pretty far apart...I just am so not done with just one child. I always wanted 4 or 5 and now it is looking like I'll be lucky with 2 or 3, hopefully. (As I type this I feel a stabbing pang of quilt. What if I DO only have 1 child. Will my son feel like he wasn't enough? That we tried for another and didn't have the child we wanted so bad? Man, I hope not.

Okay, yes I am cd1 today...can't you tell?

:

 

[Girlo]

Cheryl....

Of course, I see pg women every day, so I know there are plenty of babies coming out of this state.

M/c's do suck....hard.

After 4 of them, I just feel defeated. I was lucky with ds's pregnancy that I had not a single drop of spotting or weird cramp until I was in labor.

I still worried though.... Every tiny twinge or pull and I'd hold my breath. I'd check the tp after every time I went potty.... Even knowing that the majority of women get a BFP and then go on to have a healthy baby around their due date doesn't help my state of mind. I just know that it doesn't usually happen for me.

I haven't felt any of the guilt that you're describing around your older child. Alex knows that we're trying to make him a little brother/sister. Of course, he's only 3, so he has NO idea what that entails.

I don't think he'll feel inadequate though just because we wanted another child in our house. He's pushing this along the same as we push ourselves! He asks when he's getting a sibling every day! From that perspective, we'd be doing him wrong by failing to provide that sibling!
I guess my point is to NOT beat yourself up over it.

You're doing what you feel in your heart is the best thing for your family. If it never happens, it's not because you are thoughtless or anything else negative.

 

[naturegirl]

Quote:

M/c's do suck....hard. After 4 of them, I just feel defeated. I was lucky with ds's pregnancy that I had not a single drop of spotting or weird cramp until I was in labor. I still worried though.... Every tiny twinge or pull and I'd hold my breath. I'd check the tp after every time I went potty.... Even knowing that the majority of women get a BFP and then go on to have a healthy baby around their due date doesn't help my state of mind. I just know that it doesn't usually happen for me.

Strange thing is that I had no bleeding/spotting with my m/c pregnancies until the actual day of the m/c. With my son I had a lot of spotting, cramping and I even called some "light" bleeding before I knew I was preggers. I guess my body just doesn't follow any of the "rules"

Wouldn't it be nice to be able to be one of the naive pregnant mommas who just get preggers when ever they want to and have a perfectly healthy baby at the end of it? I know it doesn't happen so easily for most but I would sure like to know how it would feel.

Well cd3 and feeling much

now. cd1 and 2 are really rough for me.

My ds isn't asking for a sibling yet, in fact, he doesn't like me to hold other children for very long before he is asking to be picked up too. Maybe it just isn't our time yet. ??? I wish it was though.

 

[Girlo]

OMG.....my ds LOVES babies.

If he sees one, he bee-lines it right over and starts talking to them and trying to make them laugh. Of course, the questions about when we're going to have another baby come up right after that..... He talks about his little brothers/sisters daily, and even has them named.
I know he'll be a fantastic big brother when it's his time, but for now it just stinks.

 

[naturegirl]

I think my ds will soon start to "get into" brothers and sisters. His little friends are starting to have siblings also (some coming this fall) and I think when he is the only one without a sibling, it will change. He is a little younger too (I think about 10 months) so I am sure it will come eventually. I hope not until I AM pregnant but ???

It would be nice to have him potty trained first...

 

[katydid317]

I never post on this board because I don't really fit in, but I lurk because I keep hoping to see how other people deal with the male infertility factor.

I am fertile as all get out so far as I know (I got pregnant with ds completely by accident practically the second I stopped taking birth control), but DP has had a vasectomy. I always wanted a big family, and now I have stepkids, but it just doesn't feel the same. I want to be pregnant again, I want my own babies. when we've talked about it, he reminds me that it's reversible, that he's open to trying, but it just hurts me for some reason, that he already went ahead and fixed himself before he met me. I worry that we will get to the point where we spend the money and get all prepared for having a baby and then the reversal won't work, and I'll be so much more devastated because I'll have gotten my hopes up. He can even make jokes about the vas. or even talk about that "maybe someday" when we have a baby together and it just hurts. almost physically. None of my friends understand and I feel like I am wrong to even care about it but I can't help it.

 

[Yulia_R]

When we were doing IVF our doctor said that they checked everyone for Ureaplasma/Mycoplasma infection since it's one of the most common causes for m/s.
While for some weird reason it's not very well known in the US (mostly known by infertility doctors, not too much by OBs), I also remember this infection from Russia to be mentioned being very common and causing infertility/m/s as well. So I think it won't hurt to check. It may have no symptoms, just a bit of discharge from time to time. It can easily treated with antibiotics.
yulia.

 

[naturegirl]

Thanks Yulia_R. I will try to remember that if things don't work themselves out soon. I did do a vag. culture on my last visit. Would they check for that in the culture?

katydid317, it seems that at least 1/3 of fertility issues are male infertility. I would think that many mommas are going through this and all the related feelings over it. I sure do hope that the reversal goes fine and you quickly add to your family.

I think you have every right and concern to worry. Try not to worry too much until after the procedure though. It will drive you crazy! I know...easier said than done!

 

[Yulia_R]

Quote:

Originally Posted by naturegirl I did do a vag. culture on my last visit. Would they check for that in the culture?

Nope, most likely they wouldn't. They need to take a culture just for that.

 

[Girlo]

Just an update....

I had an appt today with my OB.

I got a BFP last week....and then lost it - again - on Sunday.

Since that's officially m/c #3, I felt I was due some answers.
She is going to refer me to a specialist in Seattle, took about 7 vials of blood for a slew of tests (clotting disorders, thyroid, etc.), and offered me her deepest sympathies.

Hopefully I'll get some answers on why I keep losing my babies.

 

[naturegirl]

So sorry Girlo.

I also had a loss yesterday. I had an ectopic pregnancy and had surgery yesterday. Let me know what you find out.

I have had 3 losses now out of 4 pregnancies.

A sad, sad time for both of us.

 

[Girlo]

Just an update.

I had the appt with the perinatologist last week. He had all the results of all those vials of blood drawn out of my arm - all perfect. Crud.

I told him it was the worst thing he could possibly tell me - I'm now right back where I started 2 years ago. He told me it was actually the best outcome because there's not any unusual genetic issues going on or something that needs to be fixed.
The most likely reason why I've had my 3 losses are because of my age (and DH's).

He did say that Clomid *might* help give my system a little "boost", but it probably wasn't necessary. So....the only option ahead of me is to just keep crossing my fingers and hoping for the best. I really wanted something easy to fix - like my thyroid being out of whack - so I could just fix it and have my baby! Oh well.....

 

[naturegirl]

I know what you mean. It is nice to know when there is something to "fix".

I had to have two shots of a knarly drug called methotexate which recommends not ttc for 3 months per shot so that is 6 months for me. Now my biggest problem is trying to figure out contraception methods. We haven't used any in about 5 yrs.

I sure hope that you have better news soon. It is good to get good news though, even though it doesn't seem like it now.