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My ds seems to be a target this year for bullies. Last year he seemed to start having trouble making friends, even though the other kids seemed to like him when I went to his class. This year though(he is in third grade) he is always saying something another kid has done. Last week a girl in class kept spitting on him. TOday he said that one boy walked by and ran his glue stick through his hair and another kid went down the slide while he was still on in and kicked himin the face on the way down. I want my son to defend himself. I find myself telling him to beat the snot out of them due loss for thought as what he could do to quit bieng a bully target. He even says "Maybe the other kids are right, maybe I am different". I hate to hear my son telling me about these goings on and I am starting to get really frustrated at them for bieng such brats, the parents for rasing such brats(even though I am sure alot are unaware their kids act that way) and even my son for not doing more to stick up for himself. He seems to be starting to suffer low self esteem from this too. I don't know if it is his age(9) and the changes or if its the situation. Any helpful ideas?<br><br>
Ginger
 

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Seriously? I would homeschool. Actually, we *are* going to homeschool -- not <i>in spite of</i> the socialization they get at school, but <i>because of</i> it.<br><br>
Speaking as a former bully target who got to experience either exactly the same or reasonably similar treatment as a child (gum, not glue, in my hair, but everything else you list happened here too), the best advice I can give you is <span style="font-size:medium;">PULL HIM OUT.</span><br><br>
Yeah, you bet it will hurt his self-esteem. Being spat upon can do that to a person. Seriously, I realize it may not be affordable for you or for your family, but there's no way the school can handle it, you don't want to teach your child violence, and the bullies will not stop.<br><br>
I wish you and your son the very best. He sounds like a cool guy.
 

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Have you talked to the teachers or anyone else at the school about this? They should be having supervised recess, so someone should be around and seeing this and doing something about it.
 

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Well, your son probably IS different! And this is a very very very good thing!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
If homeschooling won't work for you maybe you could try to enroll him in some type of low-key martial arts class? My brother was picked on unmercifully during primary school and my dad took a martial arts class with him. They didn't teach him how to fight aggressively really, just how to defend himself. His self confidence really seemed to pick up and I imagine it wasn't due to being able to "fight" neccesarily but was because he felt good being part of a group and growing stronger and more physically confident due to the exercise.<br><br>
Good luck to you both!
 

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Barbara Colorosso has a book out about bullies & being bullied, maybe you could find some helpful suggestions in it.<br>
It must be a tough thing to go through for all of you. Take care
 

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I like the idea of the martial arts classes. Not for fighting, but for having another place to see other children and socialize with them. A sport or music class would do the same thing, if you can afford it. Preferably with children who don't go to your son's school!<br><br>
Let him have some successful social experiences somewhere else. That will help him negotiate the difficulties he is having in school. (This from my experience as a child.)
 
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