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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Im a soon to be teen mommy, im only 17 and going to be a singel parent. Every one is so happy for me, and I am wanting my child more than any thing. I cant wait for him to be born. he's due Octoer 22 2005

Iv been looking up on so many things on babys and reading things up on here. I'm not mad one bit that Im pregnet, and I dont feel as if this baby is going to mess up my life. I look at it as a beasutiful blessing from God. But my quetion is I am so happy, so why is every one making gestures at me for being so happy to have this baby as a teen mommy. There not taking care of him I am. so my main Question for ya'll is do you think its wrong for me to be a proude, soon to be mommy??
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I am not in a position to respond well right now, but happy sure. proud? no. can anyone be a good mom at 17? sure. does age make a mom? no.
but everything will change, or should. you will have to put baby's needs first, ahead of your own wants. you will be responsible for that baby. actually, the baby is easy, it is when they start to grow up it gets harder.

i had my first at 17. baby, ok. 2 yo, ok. 6 yo? loosing my mind. she turned 15 Sunday. most of the time it is ok, but teens are a challenge. both from being a teen and having 2 now, they sure think they know it all. and they probably do in their little world. but there is so much typical teens don't concider, so they really as a group have no idea.

as a teen myself, since i ran the household i grew up in, i thought i could do it myself on my own, but there were so many things i didn't understand. little nuances to the 'games' people play. how to work the system, etc.

i am proud of how far we have come. bf and i got married. we did the raising of our children on our own. 6 months of state aid, but the rest was us. no living with parents or rent controlled housing, no welfare or food stamps or hand outs from mom or dad. (as my cousin did)

i wish you the best of luck. there are so many resources here i wish i had back then, i hope you take advantage of them.

good luck, and congrats on your baby.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Yeah I too was brought up in a house hold were I took care of most of the most things, waching my lil bros cooking cleaning ect.

I dotn plan to go on welfar or sec 8, food stamps ect. Granted the first year im staying home with my child to nutcher and feed him, but I have money set aside so that I can do that. And I've decided and come up with things to do to save money, cloth diapers make it cheap and I dotn have to rush to by diapers, and it beeter on the environment, and better on the babys tooshy.

And ill be bresst feeding. And right now im working and putting most my money in a account. The money I do spend now is on things I really, really need like maternity clothes, and baby clothes stuff like that. but not to many cause ill go back down in size and hell go up. lol But after he turns about 9 to 10 months ill start looking for a job. And all the other things but right now like I said Im just spending my first year with my son.
 

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I just wanted to say that my mom was 17 when she had me and she is still my best friend. I love her more than anything and she too was a single parent. I feel loving your child is the most important thing and you are doing that already! Congratulations and good luck!
 

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I love the feeling of the second trimester!! That's where you are, I think. You must be starting to show.
It is a proud and wonderful feeling isn't it? I absolutely think you have every reason to be proud. You are growing a child inside you!! It used to be that most women had babies at your age. Only in the past couple of generations has that changed.
One of the most important things to learn as a woman and a mother is to listen to your gut instincts. Don't let people's negativity poison your joy.
I say, stick around here at these boards. Don't even bother with the others.
I learned so much as a new mom here and I continue to learn. You will probably especially find it handy (as I did) when you're nursing your newborn all day and night. Those lonely nights can be made a little less so when you pop onto MDC. I'm a single mother as well so I know there are some extra challenges and judgments that come with your situation. Use your feeling of pride to give you strength.
Be proud!! You've chosen a beautiful journey.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Mamajama-- yes im just about 5 months, almost to my third trimester and just barly starting to show. I apericate your in put so much. This place is so cool people here are so suportive and help out so much. The encorgmet really helps it really does. it so nice that people put there expierces and queions on here help us with trying new things and learing new things its great well I have to go but thatnk you so much.

Kassy Carren
 

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Hiya! Just wanted to wish you the very best with your pregnancy. The mamas here are great! Feel free to email me if ya need to talk or have any questions
 

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Anyone at any age can be a good mom.
Focus on the positives all you can.
Single parenting can be tough and you will have your share of days when you are tired, frustrated and generally overwhelmed, so enjoy all the days when you feel bliss and joy.
Congratulations on the pregnancy.
With all your excitement and reading, it looks like you're well on your way to being the best mom you can be.
 

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I was pregnant with my first son at 18, just a few months after getting married. So not exactly the same situation but close in age. I don't think there's anything wrong with being proud. There's no way to go back and change what hapened so I don't know why people have to be mean. My older ds was an accident and I had my dad telling me how I had ruined my life etc, well my step-mom told him to shut up that he needed to be suportive, lol. :LOL There are days when I wish I had been more careful, but I love my son and do the best I can to be a good mommy to him. And there are some advantages to being a young mommy, at least you'll hopefully still remember what it felt like to be a teenager when your son gets there.
And I second what other pp's have said, MDC is such a great resource! I really which I had known about AP when my older ds was a baby. I did a lot of stuff that is AP naturally but it still would've been nice. Congrats!
 

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I was 18 and single when I had my dd. And now, 21 and single and having my second dd. Its rough, I'll admit. But I LOVE being a mama! I don't think there is any reason to not be happy about this. You decided to be a mama, and raise him, why not be happy? Thats the way I see it. Yeah, maybe timimg was bad, and the situation isn't the greatest, but oh well! Make the most of what you have and BE HAPPY!! I'm not that far ahead of ya, I'm due in September!! Good Luck!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
thanks again for the support that so cool your having a nother congradulations september cool yeah i dont know if I said when i was due exacly but im due october 22nd lil holoween baby. Im so happy.
 

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I think that there is nothing wrong with being excited about becoming a mom. It's a great attitude to have, it sounds like you're off to the right kind of start. As far as age, I do think that being a teenage mom is probably harder than being an older mom. That doesn't mean that you cannot be a good mom. It's just harder because I'm sure that most of your friends (that are your age) don't have children and you'll probably lose touch with a lot of friends after your baby is born. And you'll need to find a new support network. Being judged based on your age is sometimes hard. I had my son when I was almost 24 but I look very young so I still hear comment to this day like: "There's no way you're old enough to be his mom" etc... Sometimes that suks, I feel like what they are really saying is "You're too young to be any kind of good mom to that baby"

Just stay positive, ignore the rude comments and do as much research as you can while you're still pregnant. I wish I had found mothering.com when I was pregnant! I didn't join until my son was around 4 mos old.

I reccomend venturing over to the breastfeeding section and reading some posts there, those mamas can offer a lot of support. Breastfeeding is hard in the beginning so you'll need lots of support. But it's by far the best for your baby.

Enjoy your pregnancy mama!! Becoming a mother is the best gift you can ever receive in life.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
AidenMatthewsMom -- Im glad you feel that way I too think you can be a good mom age doesnt matter long as its what you want. Most the people I hang out with are about 20 to 26 year old women that have kids so its easy to talk to them I was never one to hang out with people my own age because I never acted my age, I always been told im very miture for my age. I mainly wanted to ask other people opinons because I want to know the truth. that is if it wrong to be happy or not. And I guess it is okay. Makes me much more happy. Thanks again.

Kassy Carren
 

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Sure, you should be happy about having a baby, babies are great. I've never been happier in my life! I am an old mom, too, I didn't have a baby until I was 36. You will be proud beyond belief when you see how amazing it is. I watched so many other people have children and thought I understood, but it's even better than I thought!

I wouldn't say you shouldn't be worried, however! It's tough! I think things are going to be tougher for you than for me, because young moms face a lot of discrimination. It was also helpful to me to have had a lot of time to observe other moms in action. Most importantly, I think teen moms have trouble with healthcare providers and school officials and folks like that. You will need a network of real life support to back you up in your decisions, especially on things like breastfeeding. Young moms as a group tend not to breastfeed I think in large part because they don't get encouragement. Lining up encouragement for this stuff now will really help.

On the other hand, you are probably in a much better place physically to have a successful natural, undrugged childbirth. You will probably have more energy to play with your babe. You will get to see more of your child's life than I will
. By the time my boy is 13 I'll be 49, by the time he's high school age I'll be into my 50s. If my kid is as pokey as I was about getting married and having children, I might not get to see them and that would suck. So I envy you that part, so much.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
god works in the most mistruse ways and I belive that everthing happens for a reson and there is a reson why I am having a child at my age and there is a reson you are having a child at your age. When It comes to bress feeding I plan to for the first yearm no matter how hard it is its whats best for my baby, and when it comes down to it homestly with school and ever were alls its not there place to judge me. be sides I look much older than I am so that benifits me, when it comes down to people looking at me. I wish you and your child the best of luck and you a long health life. thanks for the feed back.

Kassy Carren
 

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as a postpartum nurse, i have to say that age has nothing to do with my opinion of new mothers. i have had some awesome, informed and wanting to be the best mom teens and some older women who i was really sad to see having a kid.

being a mom is the best and hardest thing i have ever done. read here lots and you will learn about a wonderful way of parenting your future son. i wish you lots of luck and a happy, healthy pregnancy and birth.
 
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