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SOOO sad

766 Views 6 Replies 6 Participants Last post by  trmpetplaya
I'm so an awe of this situation that I don't even know where to go from here.
Long story short, here goes:

Good friend of mine is preggo and expecting DC#2 A BOY!!! any day now, seeing as though she was one of the first people to give me anti circ literature and info (even though her 1st DC is a girl) I never really even had any doubt that she would leave her new babe intact.
Well.......the other day she's telling me about some spousal issues she's having and oh by the way she says "he (her DH) wants to go ahead and circ"

I am BOWLED over. Shocked! I didn't even know how to respond at first and even more shocking to me is that she didn't really even seem that upset by it.
So of course I got on my soapbox and went off.
well anyways, after this conversation she asked me to send her some anti-circ links so that she could share some more info with him. I did. Then I started asking if he had looked at them, had he changed his mind, ect.. ect...
and she says no (annoyed) he only looks at video games, porn ect... on the
net not something that will impact his childs life forever!
So next time I see her she tells me that she found out that scince she is giving birth at an out-of-network hospital and the circ would also be given there that it will cost them a higher deductible and now she is "so happy because hubby is cheap and will proboly decide not to circ now because of the $"!!!!!!
Is that not the most insane thing you have ever heard!
I don't know wether to be glad or just to throw up! I can't believe he will make this decsion purley based upon monetary reasons. Nor can I believe my friend would allow him to do so.
I just can't even see myself ever allowing ANYONE (dh or any other person) to make a decision that will effect my son forever so how can she?
I want to ask again before the birth is the descion has been finalized but I am
almost scared to hear the answer.
If she allows him to do this I will just be sick. Just sick.
how could she?
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You know, in this case, she seems to be willing to talk with you on an extended basis about this, so it seems like you're good enough friends to tell her everything that you've said here.

Make her think about it!

Of course, I normally wouldn't say that to most people, because their friendship isn't so open about this issue, and bringing it up once is hard enough.

I think you should keep bringing it up, and give her all the arguments you can think of. Since she seems to be bringing it up herself, I would make full use of every opportunity.

And - you may even consider whether ending the friendship is something that you will want to do if she harms her child. If it is, you might let her know that - it might make a difference. After all, she is well-informed, and is still allowing her child to be harmed, and that can't be a person that you would really want to be friends with.

I don't mean to be pushy, so of course feel free to disregard anything that doesn't fit what you want to do.

It sounds like her partner (I don't want to call him a dh since it sounds like there's not much that's "d" about him) might not do it if something offers him money to keep his son intact.

I hope I haven't offended you, since that is not my intention. I'm just as shocked as you are.
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Well - if he's into video games and porn, she shouldn't have any problems showing him the Penn & Teller show on circumcision - I'd definitely think that would be worth a shot in this case...
It sounds like her partner (I don't want to call him a dh since it sounds like there's not much that's "d" about him) might not do it if something offers him money to keep his son intact.
He's not a partner either.
I agree he's not a dear nor a partner in this situation. and I am not offended at all, I agree with what all of you have said.
I am definatley not going to let the issue die untill the birth, I guess right now I am just so unsure about how to bring it up after that last ridiculous statement.
I'lll keep you posted!
Just wanted to say, best wishes to you (and your friend and her ds too) and I hope things turn out for the best!

love and peace.
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