[girlsmamma2]

anyone else like this? I've been this way a lot this pregnancy but it's really hitting a peak right now and I can't handle it. I'm trying everything I can think of, except shopping which would REALLY help but I can't (that is one of the stressors!!), to find a way to deal but I just can't. It seems every day is harder and harder.

Today my oldest went to an art class she had this week and they draw princesses etc. Heaven for her. A year ago I would not have been able to get her to go, she's a very empathetic, senstive, caring girl but nervous in new situations. So this year not only did she go, she marched right in, sat in the front row (all the other kids sat in the back two rows) and she made a nice friend. I was SUPER DUPER proud and happy for her. Then today, I was running 5 mintues late, well all of these girls that were so skiddish the first day and sat in the back row, now took her seat and the only seat that was left was in the back row all by herself. She tried to sit by this one girl only to be told to move because she was saving it for her friend. I didn't put all this together until I was driving away and remember how unusual it was for her to head to the back row away from everyone. I spent the whole class time obsessing hoping she was alright. Then when I came to pick up, I saw her friend she made in the front row had taken all her drawings and come back to color with my dd. I was so proud of her. At lunch i asked her about it and she broke down in tears, that girl who was saving the seat hurt her feelings and she rode it out. I'm proud she kept her composure and didn't let it get her down but right now I just can't take the principle of it, kwim? I wanted to cry so badly when we were talking about it but I had to hold off. This kind of stuff happens, especially with girls, but I was so bothered and still am that her front seat was taken by the kids who didn't have the courage to take it that first day and my dd who was normally skiddish in situations like that did. LIke I said, I know I need to let it go but it's stuff like this I'm having a hard time letting go, when I know that that is kids stuff, although crap, kid stuff.

So also because this is our 4th, we need a new vehicle. It's getting to be a very expensive endeavor and my dh and I are pretty stressed about it. Also we need a new couch, more seating and that is stressful because it's more money. Our dog is 10 years old and has a spinal condition that is causing him to lose feeling in his rear legs. WAtching him deal with this and trying to stay positive knowing that he is in for a rough ride, kills me. We are also trying to go on our last camping trip for the summer, which we had to cut back on because of money this year, but our current vehicle which hauls our camper is having axle issues and we may not be able to go. Dh is putting windows in and in the meantime we have several other undone projects waiting....all just money money money or emotion. It's one or the other and I feel like it's all getting to me after being able to keep some of this at bay.

I'm going to Target with the kids to try and change the channel, but I just wish I didn't feel like crying all the time. These are good problems to have but I'm just so darn weepy..........

ok, off to shop. after I feel guilty about any time at all on the computer.

thanks ladies...i just needed to vent I guess.

 

[janasmama]

I've been very emotional, depressed lately. This is our third and I have so many worries too.

I have to say though, I went out last night and bought three pairs of shoes and I really feel so much better today.

 

[casemnor]

I have been, unexpectedly, emotional this pregnancy. I was so mellow with my first...but with this one EVERYTHING seems like a humongous deal. I try to hid it as best I can; especially at work, but I know it has really impacted my performance. I had just moved into a new group when I got pregnant...so I know they all think that I'm some nutty over the top bitch. My anxiety feels totally out of control and I hate it. (I've got a pretty severe generalized anxiety disorder, which is usually pretty well under control...but these months have reminded me that it is all due to medication and that deep down inside my brain is still very much broken...which makes me feel really shitty about myself).

and thinking about it makes me feel like such a failure.

and I worry that it is impacting Lilith...and impacting Nell. I wrote a post in one of the MDC threads about her response to me (she's emotionally fragile, and I've even observed vaginal discharge in her panties)...hoping someone would tell me if they'v ehad experience iwth their little girls bodies reacting to the mama's overly hormonal states...but no one responded. So then I felt like a freak.

Ha.

I'm sure it is all made worse by the fact that I still don't have many days that I can eat normally and live in continual fear of sudeenly and violently throwing up.

sigh.

2 more months. 2 more months.

 

[thefragile7393]

You're not the only one. Every single blasted day since 26 weeks I've been like this and I'm tired of it. Very tired. On meds, bumped up a dose, and now possibly have to go up one more dose. I usually feel better by the end of the day but it's morning up till then that I feel crappy. It's been hard....and I'm just ready for it to be over and pray postpartum will be ok.

 

[Turtlemum]

I'm getting to the point where I think I need to talk to someone. Two nights ago, I had a huge break down. Sobbing, barely able to breathe, crying like you are a kid kind of breakdown. In those moments, everything seems wrong and like a huge deal. Poor DH it was on his bday. I feel better today but it took at whole 24 hours to recover. The problem with talking to someone is everyone I know is under so much stress and I don't want to add to it (including my midwives)...I dunno, I'll think of something.

 

[Kim919]

Oh boy mama you've got a lot going on!!

Your daughter sounds like a really special girl. It sounds like she has a wonderful personality & empathy/sensitivity is a beautiful thing, even if it doesn't always make things easy.

I like this song. When stuff is going really crazy & feel overwhelmed it has a habit of comming on my radio and making me feel really blessed to have the life i've got:

(craig wiseman/phil vassar) - Lyrics

The kids screaming, phone ringing
Dog barking at the mailman bringing
That stack of bills - overdue
Good morning baby, how are you?
Got a half hour, quick shower
Take a drink of milk but the milks gone sour
My funny face makes you laugh
Twist the top on and I put it back
There goes the washing machine
Baby, dont kick it.
I promise I'll fix it
Long about a million other things

Well, its ok. its so nice
Its just another day in paradise
Well, theres no place that
Id rather be
Well, its two hearts
And one dream
I wouldnt trade it for anything
And I ask the lord every night
For just another day in paradise

Friday, youre late
Guess well never make our dinner date
At the restaurant you start to cry
Baby, we'll just improvise
Well, plan b looks like
Dominoes pizza in the candle light
Then we'll tippy toe to our room
Make a little love thats overdue
But somebody had a bad dream
Mama and daddy
Can me and my teddy
Come in to sleep in between?

Yeah its ok. its so nice.
Its just another day in paradise.
Well, theres no place that
Id rather be
Well, its two hearts
And one dream
I wouldnt trade it for anything
And I ask the lord every night
For just another day in paradise

Well, its ok. its so nice.
Its just another day in paradise.
Well, theres no place that
Id rather be
Two hearts
And one dream
I wouldnt trade it for anything
And I ask the lord every night
For just another day in paradise

For just another day in paradise
Well, its the kids screaming. the phone ringing
Just another day
Well, its friday. youre late
Oh yeah, its just another day in paradise

 

[thefragile7393]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Turtlemum I'm getting to the point where I think I need to talk to someone. Two nights ago, I had a huge break down. Sobbing, barely able to breathe, crying like you are a kid kind of breakdown. In those moments, everything seems wrong and like a huge deal. Poor DH it was on his bday. I feel better today but it took at whole 24 hours to recover. The problem with talking to someone is everyone I know is under so much stress and I don't want to add to it (including my midwives)...I dunno, I'll think of something.

Therapist? Any self-help books? Journaling? Maybe one or some of those would help.

 

[mkmb129]

I'm sorry that you're so stressed. I've been quite up and down lately. One extreme or the other. It's tough to deal with myself when I'm like that, I don't know how poor dh and ds deal with it

 

[zoebugsmom]

I'm so emotional! Today I was in AC Moore and there was a woman who couldn't find her 3ish yo son. She found him (well, I found him) and he was perfectly fine but I still started crying.

I'm easily frustrated, angered and I cry at the drop of a hat. It's like living on a roller coaster. I cried half a dozen times just watching So You Think You Can Dance last night! It's pathetic.

 

[Celticqueen]

You're so not the only one!! I've been super super emotional.

For Heaven's sake...I cried during the Little Mermaid the other day while eating chocolate icecream.

Total estrogen fest.

Hang in there mama!! Pregnancy has the tendency to do this to us

You'll get through it.

-Caitrin

 

[girlsmamma2]

thanks for the help everyone. I had a response typed the other day and my computer blew it away...figures!

Your support and words have helped a lot. that song is hilarious too and so very right. I wouldn't change any of this for the world and have to just find a way to cope when it gets to much. I had a midwife appt yesterday, baby is fine, head down (yea!!!), feels on the bigger side but not huge although at 30 weeks I'm measuring 35 weeks! So I was worried but she isn't, I have some history to make it ok, but I was glad I went before we go out of town. I've been feeling big lately, to add to the emotions and I knew there was something up. so I guess just a growth spurt but I'm taking everthing in stride and trying to relax and just do one thing on my plate at a time. It's just so hard to let some things go right now, but I'm making myself do it!

thanks again!