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I just found out Tuesday after some spotting that I have lost my baby at 10 weeks, am still going through with the actual m/c and am so sad and so confused. We had tried for almost a year for this baby and after two wonderful and uncomplicated pg before I was so blindsided by this. I don't know if I can ever risk this kind of pain again, I don't think I even want to try for another baby even when my body and spirit heal. I just want all the maternity clothes and baby things I had saved for this baby to be out of my house, but my mom says to wait and give myself a chance. Any advice out there, is this the way everyone feels at first, will my feelings change? I just feel so betrayed by my own body and so angry at myself. I so wanted this baby, how can I now feel like I never want to be pg again?<br>
Sorry to ramble and thanks if you read this far.
 

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I'm so sorry. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
Maybe instead of getting rid of all your pregnancy stuff you could just put it in bags and put thewm in the garage or attic so you don't have to look at it for now. You can make a more premenant decision when emotion isn't so high, say give yourself 3 months, or 6 months.<br><br>
Take good care of yourself, so sorry your going through this.
 

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I'm so very sorry that you're losing your baby. It hurts so deeply.<br><br>
I would recommend you not get rid of anything yet. I had two early losses (a miscarriage at 10 weeks and an ectopic pregnancy), and my baby Kevin was stillborn at 38 weeks, ten months ago. I have found that with each of these losses my first reaction was to want to get rid of things, but later I really wanted those clothes and baby things around because they were a connection to that pregnancy. I like the suggestion of putting them somewhere that's out-of-the-way. Then you can decide later what you want to do. Your pain is so intense right now that you really need to wait before making any permanent decisions. Even with Kevin, there are things that I wished I saved, and I can never go back and get them now.<br><br>
Much love to you,<br>
Katherine
 

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I think it is normal.... with my first 6 losses I got rid of everthing & bought new stuff just to get rid of it again & again... when I finally had another baby I didnt really have anything for her til the end... when we lost our baby a couple months ago I got rid of everything I had (which admittedly was mostly prenatal books,videos,etc..just a few baby things), but now already I am starting to accumulate things and we dont even know if I can have another! I think it is the normal cycle of things....<br><br>
personally I could never use the things we had for our last baby on another - I dreamed of putting him in one outfit for the winter when taking him cetain places,etc... we couldnt dress another baby in those things without being sad....so I think it can be a good thing to get rid of them and start over....<br><br><br>
(((HUGS))) I am so sorry you are going through this.....its normal to feel the way you are.. I can tell you I once even went so far as to ask dh to get fixed! Its hard to open yourself up to the possibility of feeling this pain again.... be gentle with yourself & allow yourself time to heal.....<br><br>
Peace,<br>
Anne-Marie
 

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{{{{{ Traci }}}}}<br><br>
So sorry for your loss! I agree with the others to put your things away for a while, either in your house, or at a friend's house, while you deal with your immediate feelings. Then later, you can decide what you want to do with them long term.<br><br>
Take good care of yourself!<br><br>
Karen
 

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I am so sorry for your loss. I agree leaving them with someone you are close to will give you time to heal and gain perspective. Even if you don't have any future children wear use the things you may wish to save some of them for remembrance.<br><br>
I know it is incredibly hard right now. Just take some time and take care of yourself.
 
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