[Mama Poot]

nak so I'll try to make this short and clear. I have a 12 month old and a week old newborn. 12 month old screams murder when I am nursing his brother, doing anything with him. He screams when I dont let him follow me everywhere ( ie bathroom ), and when my arms are free he demands to be held. If I leave a room, he will throw himself on the floor and have an all-out tantrum-kicking, crying, growling- whole 9 yards. I know its only been a week, but I dont know what to do. I feel guilty for turning his little world upside down and putting him through this.

: He's been suffering with terrible nightmares and its getting worse, and if he doesnt have one he is waking at odd times and wanting fed/played with, etc... We're talking to the ped about the nightmares because you can turn on every light and put cold water on him, and he doesnt wake up- he just screams inconsolably for 10 minutes. He is totally disoriented and has no idea what is happening until he snaps out of it.

I need to know how I can efficiently share my time with ds and continue meeting his emotional needs all while caring for my newborn. I really dont know what to do- but something has to change. tia for your help.

 

[babygrant]

My son was 25 months when ds#2 was born. For the first three weeks he HATED me. Wouldn't come near me, wouldn't hug me, wouldn't kiss me, wouldn't let me tuck him in. It sucked. I cried and cried because I thought ds would hate me forever. After about 3 weeks when ds#2 wasn't nursing every 20 minutes it started to get better. Once ds was okay with other people holding him for a while, as soon as we had company come over, they would hold baby and I would go play alone with ds#1 for 10 or 15 minutes. Seemed to make a world of difference. Once ds#2 was old enough for ds#1 to play with it got even better. DS is 9 months now and loves playing with his big brother. Just hang in there mama, it gets better.

 

[mamachandi]

my girl was 2 yr and 8 mo. when the little sister was born it took her 3 months to get back to herself. dh stepped up and spent more time with her so i could be with baby. and it helped some, to now they are very close. it is all very normal. there is nothing wrong with him. it will pass. think of it.he had only you for all of his little life now he has to share you, how difficult to understand that must be for him. in time he will get used to it. but just give him as much ;love and understanding you can. give him chammomilla (homeopathic) before bed to help him sleep better. but it all sounds normal to me.

 

[sesa70]

I had a huge age difference between my two girls, almost 6 years. BUT my oldest has special needs so her actual age is not the best indicator of her emotional/social age, kwim?

She too HATED her sister. She wouldnt look at her, cried all the time, didnt want anything to do with me. I tried as hard as I could to include both of them in everything. When I had the baby I would bring my older dd over and hold them both at the same time. I would try to encourage her to spend time with her sister and on weekends do things with just her when dh was home to take care of the baby.

It took my dd a while, almost 2 months before she stopped fussing so much and even longer before she actually started liking her sister. NOw though they get along great (8 months). I also had those feelings of guilt like I had ruined my poor older dd's life. Thankfully though, things do get better and everyone will get along eventually! Hugs to you and your little ones, I hope his nightmares get under control soon, that must be so scary for him!

 

[AllisonK]

The night waking could be night terrors. (I think thats what its called). DS used to do this, would wake up but really be asleep. He would scream, kick, struggle when picked up for 10-20 mins and then all of a sudden he would be fine. I don't remember what we did but he did grow out of it. It is so scary though!! My mom said I did this as a child too.