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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi Gang!<br><br>
I'm an old lurker from years past. Life took me in a new direction after TTC for a few years and I've been busy.<br><br>
But these forums almost always had the answer for me, and i'm hoping the same is true for a friend of mine who is expecting her first after trying for several years.<br><br>
Friend is wanting to explore homebirth, and was supposed to meet and have a consultation with a midwife yesterday who NEVER SHOWED and still is MIA! If you can even imagine. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/duh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="duh"><br><br>
Friend is feeling especially discouraged about this - especially b/c she thinks her homebirth midwife options are limited. She's south of ATL and will need a midwife who will travel up to 45-1hour outside the perimeter and hasn't been able to find one. Resigned grumblings of "maybe I can get permission for a hospital water birth" are starting to be heard around here...<br><br>
But I remember ladies from f'ville and other southside cities who had great homebirth experiences from when I was looking at options myself.<br><br>
Recommendations? Advice? Suggestions?<br><br>
Please feel free to PM me anytime, or respond here. Thank you so much!!!<br><br><div style="text-align:center;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"></div>
 

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The midwife may be at a birth. I hope it all works out for her.<br><br>
P.S. Maybe try <a href="http://www.birthpartners.com" target="_blank">www.birthpartners.com</a>
 

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I just moved to McDonough and have had a similar problem.I finally got a name from the health food store and a lady at a church i was visiting ,but my problem is so many woman with my EDD,that they seemed to be booked up.i found one that was going to make visits to my house but then she had a mission trip around the same time.So when is your friends due date,i could probably give her a few names.I finally gave up and am actually making plans for a UC.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
she's due sept 22nd. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy">:<br><br>
thanks for your help! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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PM'ing you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I bet I know which midwife <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Try <a href="http://www.newlifemidwiferycare.com" target="_blank">www.newlifemidwiferycare.com</a>. She's only got her home office in Alpharetta now but is looking for a southside office since there are no midwives down there who are reliable. She's a CPM just here from MI with tons of experience. I really like her <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I would advise that unless your friend is okay with no-shows on appointments (and really, who would be), she find a different provider. At a birth is one thing, but i expect a HB MW to give a call if she can't make an appointment. I do know who the MW is, and i would pick someone else unless your friend is okay with no-shows.<br><br>
She could chose to find an insurance-covered OB or CNM for "shadow care" so she can do many prenatals near her house, then she may be able to negotiate a lower fee from her HB midwife for fewer prenatals. The trade-off with that is having to jump through all the hoops.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>fotomama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11557976"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Friend is wanting to explore homebirth, and was supposed to meet and have a consultation with a midwife yesterday who NEVER SHOWED and still is MIA! If you can even imagine. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/duh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="duh"></div>
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I would definitely tell her to take that behavior as a warning. I think she can find someone else. Charlotte sound really nice.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>SublimeBirthGirl</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11579168"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I bet I know which midwife <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Try <a href="http://www.newlifemidwiferycare.com" target="_blank">www.newlifemidwiferycare.com</a>. She's only got her home office in Alpharetta now but is looking for a southside office since there are no midwives down there who are reliable. She's a CPM just here from MI with tons of experience. I really like her <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"></div>
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I really like Charlotte alot and would highly recommend her! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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Um, the same southside midwife who routinely missed appointments as no call/no show also flaked out and refused to show up when I was 7cm dilated in active labor. Only, she put me off and made excuses for 5 hours before she finally just informed me she wasn't coming.<br><br>
I would absolutely take this as a sign of things to come. I'm not the only one with this shoddy experience, some have had far worse than I have with this midwife. I wish I had listened to my DH at the very first appointment when he said forget it, find another.<br><br>
He was right in every way.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I've heard from a few people about this woman. Makes me ill <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> Wish I could afford midwifery school or knew more ladies doing UC around here...<br><br>
Thanks everyone for your helpful suggestions! My friend (a newbie around here somewhere ) finally found a midwife she liked and sounds like she's going to go for it.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy">:<br><br>
Thanks mamas!<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rocks.jpg" style="border:0px solid;" title="mdc rocks">
 

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Cornelia - <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"> to you and <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/disappointed.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="disappointed"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/Cuss.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="cuss"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hopmad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hopping mad"> to her. There is no excuse, and i'm so sorry you had that experience.<br><br>
Fotomama - I'm so glad your friend found another provider. It's a shame that one shoddy mw creates and feeds mistrust that so many other providers don't deserve.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Cornelia</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11685145"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Um, the same southside midwife who routinely missed appointments as no call/no show also flaked out and refused to show up when I was 7cm dilated in active labor. Only, she put me off and made excuses for 5 hours before she finally just informed me she wasn't coming.<br><br>
I would absolutely take this as a sign of things to come. I'm not the only one with this shoddy experience, some have had far worse than I have with this midwife. I wish I had listened to my DH at the very first appointment when he said forget it, find another.<br><br>
He was right in every way.</div>
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I hope she at least sent someone else!!!
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I hope she at least sent someone else!!!</td>
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Nope, washed her hands of me completely. A week later, after laboring without progress and suffering extreme emotional distress the entire time, I went to my perinatalogist (I see a peri for a clotting disorder which said midwife was 100% aware and informed regarding the entire pregnancy and never risked me out over) arranged for a CNM practice to deliver me in the hospital.<br><br>
I hemmoraghed in childbirth and am now officially risked out of future homebirths. A very close midwifery friend in another state who supported me via the telephone through the entire ordeal was 100% convinced that all of the problems I faced were directly related to being abandoned in labor by my caregiver.<br><br>
If GA were issuing license to CPMs, the action of abandoning me in labor would be grounds to have a license revoked permenantly. It illegal to abandon a patient in labor and not provide back-up for licensed caregivers. But, since the state won't issue licensures to PM/DEMs, I had no recourse in the situation except to try and move on with my life.
 

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My experiece with this midwife were also traumatic - but nothing compared to yours Cornelia. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"> I was able to have an amazing birth experience, and that is what I try to focus on (After which, I was also abandoned despite needing post-partum care, having a mis-stitched tear that wouldn't heal, having no idea if my baby was Rh + or - (i'm neg, so would need rogham)). But I feel your frustration at having no recourse. There was no way to hold anyone accountable. And it spreads all the usual rumors about homebirth being irresponsible, HB MW's being unprofessional, etc.<br><br>
I'm sorry for your experience, and hope it never happens to another mother.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
hey again everyone...<br><br>
Thanks to everyone who has responded so far. I wanted to keep everyone posted on my friend's (April) experience.<br><br>
She finally found a hbmw, after contacting several (8) different providers.<br>
** This coming rant is not directed towards all of those ladies. In fact, the vast majority of the northside ladies would have made the shortlist, except for the distance issue. This is towards southside practitioners only. Just wanted to make that clear. <3 **<br><br><br>
April didn't feel a real "click" with this person, but she found herself having only one other option (driving from the Griffin area to Acworth for prenatals, and with gas $$$$$$$, it wasn't really a viable choice).<br><br>
This midwife she decided on, who by all accounts seems very knowledgable and experienced, was going to be hired on Monday. Until she told April that her own child had just gotten engaged, she wasn't sure when the wedding was going to be (in 2 months?), and that anything could come up at any time that would make her miss the birth. (Obviously this is true. And yet, and yet, I'm not sure that saying something like this to a preg woman when she is trying to hire you after having been burned through her whole trying-to-find-a-midwife experience is the best call.)<br><br>
When my friend told the MW that she had to know whether the woman was going to be available or not, the MW started bashing her! "Well, if you're too nervous to do it it probably won't work out anyways..." and the like.<br><br><br>
My original post was on June 26 and has taken me less than a month to get absolutely disgusted at the HBMW situation on the southside. The lack of professionalism and ethics that I'm observing are something I would expect out of a hospital, not a midwife. Friend's husband remarked to me last night:<br><b><br>
It's not that our hospital experience turned us towards homebirth. It's that our midwives turned us towards a hospital birth.</b><br><br><br>
This is unacceptable, and any of you midwives who may be reading this and find yourself hiding in the posts here should hang it up. Women deserve better care and you are doing a disservice when you are a no-show at an appointment, when you fail to return phone calls, when you try to put your own hesitation on that of a mother-to-be.<br><br>
I appreciate the legal status of midwifery in this state. I'm in complete agreement that the alegality of homebirth here is just clucking bullfit. That said, if you choose/get the call to attend women during their pregnancy, labor, delivery and post-partum, and you represent (through your own word-of-mouth advertising, during a phone consult or any other time) that you are a competent professional who is well-equiped to assist with a birth, you don't get to be wishy-washy on the phone with your client!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And you don't get to not show up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you can't handle the pressure of operating in an underground system then get into the sun with a regular job.<br><br>
Perhaps the people we should be blaming for the sorry state of birth affairs in this state isn't the money-grubbing, assembly line hospital doctors. Maybe it's you.<br><br>
You give all midwives a bad name, and you should be ashamed of yourselves.<br><br>
Thanks for listening. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/soapbox.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="soapbox"> *stepping down now*
 
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