[KoalaMommy]

So I just found out that I'm preggers with #2, #1 is 7 months. This is a little closer than we'd planned to have them (okay, it's a LOT closer). In your experiences what is the ideal age difference between children and why? Feel free to try to make me feel better about having 2 under 2 as well!!!

 

[DreamsInDigital]

My first two were 4 years apart, my next one is due 2 months after my youngest's second birthday. No matter the spacing, you can and more importantly will find a way to be the best mom you can be. I know moms who have gone for their 6 week post partum check up to find out they are pregnant again.

You'll be fine, and congratulations on your new little one.

 

[Ruthla]

I don't know.... spacing kids would require actually getting pg on purpose

 

[bri276]

Every single child is different, every single parent is different, and in a happy healthy environment a child will flourish regardless of sibling spacing.

 

[nonconformnmom]

Personally, I love having a huge age gap between the first two, and a small gap between the second two. That way, you get a built-in babysitter!

 

[Amylcd]

Mine are 15 months apart and I love it

I think it's the perfect spacing.

 

[Alkenny]

I voted 5 or more years...but that's not for everyone, just my experience.

My oldest two are 27 months apart and it's been havoc between them since day 1.

My middle child and the babe have 8 1/2 years between them and I truly

the space.

 

[Best Feeling]

Mine are 17.5 months apart, sort of planned that way. And though I have never admitted this to anyone, I wish they were further apart. It's great and amazing and all that but it's also incredibly exhausting. I was expecting that though. Anyway, I think I'll be glad for the small age gap in about 12-18 months. I hope :LOL

 

[kamilla626]

Dh is 38, and his brothers are 27 and 25. He was an only until he was 11! All 3 of them are pretty happy, well-adjusted, successful men.

IMO, spacing and birth order does have some influence, but I think good, loving parenting is most important.

 

[FreeThinkinMama]

I voted however they come because I can see advantages to having them close together and far apart and for us at least it doesn't matter since we can't just snap our fingers and get pregnant when we want to (due to fertility issues). I think it would be nice to have children close together so they can have more in common as they grow older and play together. I had a sister who was a year younger then me and we were the best of friends growing up but my brother was 5 years younger and because of that age gap we didn't bond until we were much older. On the other hand if we had children close together the oldest would probably be jealous and it's tougher dealing with two small children at once. We'll be happy either way obviously.

 

[woobysma]

I

having my boys 7 years apart. I know that's a lot for some people, and it's really only that way because I was so young when ds1 was born - but it's been wonderful! I feel like I really get to immerse myself in ds2's baby-ness because his brother is at an age where he's more independant. I don't think I'd be nearly as relaxed right now if I had a 3yo running around on top of a 9mo.

 

[enkmom]

My 2 are just shy of 12 months apart. Trust me, it SOUNDS scarier than it really is. You will be too busy "doing it" to worry about how you are going to "do it all". Mine are now 15(ds) and 16(dd), and my dh and I are the envy of everyone we know because they have such a good relationship. They are truly best friends. For our family, this spacing was perfect - especially because they turned out to be the only children we had.

One word of advice for you- some days will seem really long, and your babies' infancies may seem like an ordeal to be gotten through rather than a joy. Truly take the time to treasure those early years.

 

[witchbaby]

mine are going to be JUST two years apart-- quantum is due between dec. 15 and the same day k was (christmas!), which is just 5 days after her birthday! so, it's likely they'll have very very close birthdays.

 

[Ilaria]

I deally, I think at least 3. I feel that's when they are no longer so needy that is hard for them to share mama...also that way you might get a break between pregnancy, nursing and so on...Mine are 2.5 years apart, a little closer than we planned on, and it's fine. But, that way I was pregnant or nursing, or both for a long time, which again, was fine, but sometimes I wish I had gotten a tiny little break.

 

[oldcrunchymom]

Mine are 27 months apart but I would have liked them to be spaced a little closer. They get along great, though, and play together all the time.

 

[liam's mom]

we're aiming for ~4 years spacing, but i think many moms do fantastically w/their children closer together. it isn't for *us*, but i do think it's right for many people.

 

[mimie]

I hope to aim for anywhere between 21 to 30 months (planning on having two kids). I grew up with a close family friend who was 22 months younger than me, and we are still wonderful friends to this day. My DH and his sister are 30 months apart, and they also have a wonderful, close relationship.

I have no kids yet, so I can't weigh in on the trials and joys of raising kids 2-3 years apart. I just know I'd like my kids to have close sibbling relationships like these.

 

[Verity]

If I had it to do over, I'd have them at least 5 years apart. It is around that age that I find children to be MUCH easier to deal with. I had my kids 3.5 years apart, and it was hard. Having them even closer together definitely would not have been for me.

OTOH, I see disadvantages to having kids spaced even as far as mine. There's a 7-year gap between my oldest and youngest, and it's hard sometimes to find things they're all interested in.

 

[Irishmommy]

Moving this to Parenting Issues...

 

[Mommiska]

I didn't vote, but all of mine are close (between 19 months and 28 months apart). I really like the close spacing - my two girls (19 months apart) have played very very well together since the youngest was about 12-13 months old and on her feet.

In my family of origin, Mom and Dad had 3 of us in 3 years - hectic, but she loved it (once we were a bit older!). Then they waited another 4 years to have another one. I love my sister to bits, and she's wonderful, but I would never do that. She found it difficult growing up, seeing all three of us doing things she couldn't do, you know? And because of the large age gap (she is 7 years younger than I am, since I'm the oldest), we didn't start getting to know each other until we were adults - which is something I regret.

Just one perspective! I think it would have been easier on my sister if there had been another child right after her, you know? Then she wouldn't have felt so left out of the 'older kids' stuff.